Health & Family Would you care/adopt grandchild again?

A feiend of my daughter's was raised by her Grandparents and has turned out just fine (friends since kinda, now mid 20s). The grandparents were certainly "young" for their age which they put down to their grandchild.

No doubt it will have its challenges, but will equally have its rewards.

Would I do it? As a grandpa to a 3yo and a 7week old...without hesitation!

 

I know someone that helped raise her grand daughter and did a marvellous job. Their grand daughter left in their twenties to the mainland (her grand mother must have been in her sixties at that point) and has since returned in her thirties with hubby and bub to help her grand mother who is struggling in her eighties.
Unfortunately, if having a baby has not improved the step daughter's behaviour I can not see her improving much, or at all, in the future. At least there is some hope for the baby and forties is not old to look after a baby but I would expect to spend more money due to exhaustion and find yourself a support network. Certainly stay in touch with child health services for support. Do not give up custody of this child to the mother. The baby deserves care and stability and the eighteen year old does not deserve another chance with this child again.

 

Thanks for the imput

Family Services have secured a Parenting Consent Order
(Facs/Docs), the step daughter gets to be a mum, but we can if reqd over rule her (and she has reg drug testing!).

So after 9 weeks in hospital, and now 2.4kg, late yesterday we added a new member to our houshold

 

How gorgeous! Sounds like a reasonably good solution was reached in the best interest of the baby. Congratulations on the beautiful addition to your family!

 

Well done!

This little one will bring much love and joy to your family.

Congratulations on the new arrival!
Marg

 

Thank you for caring so much and taking her into your lives.

Did DoCs still maintain they both couldn't be in your house or will your step daughter live with you too?

 

What a cool little story! It's really sad that the step-daughter has made the life decisions that she has, but I think it's incredible that you've stepped in to give this child a good life. There's thousands of children that don't get the same opportunity, and they tend to perpetuate their kind of existence. You're going to help break the cycle and make an enormous difference in this life, and potentially many others.

P.S. You're no where near too old at 40 to parent!

 

Thanks all

Both are in our home @Westminster
Step daughter seems to be slowly coming around
(Doesn't do the late night feeds still )
(and is missing her going out all the time..... )

40 "something" hmmm @Tom Rivera

10 weeks old now
Double birth weight and size now
Still tiny (bicept sized)
#notgettingattached

 

I will also be 67 when our youngest (due Jan 18) turns 21 and I will definitely be relevant as I will be her Dad, whether she agrees will be open to debate

The child knowing they are wanted and loved will determine his/her development.

 

Which one is the baby?

Lol Congratulations again!

 

@Stoffo, that's a beautiful pic

Thank you for giving your grand daughter the opportunity to be the best she can be in life

 

Still not used to feed time being every 3-4 hours

No one warns you about that (or projectile poo)

Mothers definantly deserve a medal (or 30)

 

The mum !!!
A sad update
PLEASE DONT READ ON IF YOU UPSET EASILY

I kinda need to vent a little, and have very few close friends.
We have been encouraging, educating and supporting the step daughter into motherhood the last month odd.
She seemed to be advancing and taking on more responsibly.
When looking at some cctv footage yesterday I found that during the late night feeds the baby would fall asleep, no biggie right, wrong sadly
10 days ago mum started out trying to wake her by being a bit rough with the bottle in her mouth, this escalated to scratching, pinching, slapping, hitting and finally shaking

I called Docs/Facs, so the baby is in hospital getting all sorts of checks, she has passed most reasonably well, but we are still waiting on xrays and CT scans.
Her mother is being charged, she will likely never ever get custody.

Some very sad days for us, not only tearing the family apart, but it was such a shock, no signs of problems at all, second hardest phone call I've ever had to make !

 

Sorry to hear @Stoffo, I hope the baby is ok and pass health check.
Mum is only 18.... and likely frustrated with how things are for her and ended up transferring that frustration around.
Baby is lucky to have you.

 

Such a sad update @Stoffo! I hope the baby is alright. My thoughts are with your family. Take care!

 

I've only just come across this thread today and first off, want to say how sorry I am to read your last post.

However, What you and your partner are doing (and have done) is commendable, a true and needed blessing for the innocent little cherub.

I hope all goes well with the remaining tests and my thoughts are with you all.

 

Congratulations on having the courage to get this little baby the medical help she needed. I can only imagine how difficult this would have been.

Clearly the young mum is too immature to cope with the demands of a new baby. This is really sad for your family, but the safety and welfare of the baby must come first.

Perhaps the time has come to pursue permanent custody.
Marg

 

It takes a big heart to hold and protect a little hand....well done mate......!

 

To answer my own question
Would I care for/adopt a grandchild again ?
IN A HEARTBEAT

Would I be more vigilant, absolutely!
By making the call I have ended any chance the young mum has for years it was difficult, when others viewed the footage they were shocked and at home in 30min
We once considered the cctv intrusive, yesterday it may have just saved a life

All the reports have come back with no apparent lasting injuries , and she should be released from hospital today, though we will have further xrays in the coming weeks to check for any other fractures.

We have been awarded temp custody, home visits will follow, the young mum is only allowed supervised contact.
She has disappeared currently

Thanks for the kind words all