Why do you care what others think ???

I often wonder if your being held back in life by worrying what others think about you.

I say this because of the many scenarios I have been involved in the past few months.


* met a friend in a cafe in trendy Paddington (Sydney) he hasn't got a penny to his name but wears $300 t shirts etc , he is gay and was with his new boyfriend.
He told me he felt intimidated walking hand in hand with his friend on the street and I asked why , he said sometimes people make bad comments as they walk by .
I told him to do what he wants and makes him/ them happy not what other people thinks.
That's holding his life back.
As long as your not hurting others then do what you want

this is similarly related... but some of you want to be people pleasers , I have had enough of being that way , I will continue to haggle over prices etc regardless if I'm not liked by someone I don't know or people nearby who don't like it .

It takes practise to be like this , and confidence and sometimes I don't have this I admit but what I have noticed about successful people I know of in my areas of Bondi and Bellevue Hill etc is they don't worry about what others think and need to be people pleasers

 

Well said

Waste of energy worrying about what people think, you wont please everyone. I am too old to care about this one

MTR

 

Human nature dictates that most ppl want to be accepted by others and fit in, hence they often care what others may think about them.

However if your able to build up the confidence and self esteem and have a strong sense of knowing who you are and what you stand for then being able to give up caring what most ppl may think about you is completely liberating and empowering.

The only power anyone ever has over us is the power we give them.

 

Facebook and social media are the number 1 creator of self perception issues for the bulk of people I would suspect. Easy to portray a life which is vastly different to reality in an attempt to make others think more of you.

 

I think I get better as I get older. Overtime you realise everyone else is worrying about their own problems. Their reaction to your situation got nothing to do with you.

 

Online forums are probably similar, tbh....

 

People have evolved this tendency to seek acceptance from their society as it increases the chances of a humans survival.

Society provides a roof over your head. A job. A friendship group. Health care. Protection. Etc...

It makes sense to want to be accepted by society rather than being ostracized.

So people try to be acceptable.

You can judge that if you'd like, but its the way things are.

One thing you do have to watch out for though, is if you are a straight white guy, you already have the holy trinity of the biggest things that make you acceptable in our society. With that amount of privilege you have to be careful with what you say and who you judge.

With all that said though, if people focussed more on self acceptance rather than acceptance from others...that would be nice.

 

So many fake lives online. A disaster of a day but put a few happy snaps on Facebook and everyone thinks you had a great day. I think it is causing some great stress for people's life's as they only see the good of others life's and are upset by there own reality.

 

I don't care ... and hopefully have instilled this in the kids.

For example ... when they're angst'd over what they are going to wear, I've made sure to point out that "no one will care" as everyone else is to busy angsting over what they are wearing ... seems to have worked and they pretty much don't care as long as they are happy .

Worrying about what other people think is such a teenage thing - sadly, some never grow out of it

 

I have a question. What do you think it takes to no longer care what other people think?

What steps do you have to take?

I have my own ideas but Im interested to hear others.

 

It's hard not to be fully not caring, I think as you said, it's in people's nature to. But surely there's a healthier balance on what to care and what not

Steps.... uh...

1. Make the decision that you want to be happy(er?) and focus on that
2. Give up on trying to control what people think or do, for the most part you can't
3. Limit interactions with certain crowd until you're stable enough to keep your state of mind regardless of what people say or do

Note: have lots of money so you don't have to care

 

I agree with your 'Note' point. When I had my cd-key business at 16 and started making more money (as far as I knew) than any student I knew In my school without any parental assistance or friend/outside support, I started looking down on everyone in school (especially teachers) and not giving a crap.

 

I don't care much what others think of me, especially people I do not know.
For family and friends, I try and make an effort when I have to.

 

When you are in your 20's you care what other people think of you.
When you are in your 40's you don't give a damn what others think of you.
When you are in your 60's you realise, all this time, nobody has been thinking about you.

 

I have a solution don't join any of these communities problem solved.

MTR

 

I think if you work in sales, or similar, you need to care a little what other people think so that you do your job properly and present professionally. Still, after enough of that, if things are stressful and the product is competitive you just stay interested in being professional but not really caring what other people think of you too much because you learn that there is always someone unhappy with something or other. Does not pay to care too much. Far more interesting things to see and do. More concerned with learning to spend my time worrying about other people's perception too much.

 

Yeah so true.

 

I sometimes wonder if I have narcissism. But upon reflection I think Im just too amazing to have that fault.

 

Yes, I used to be conceited too, but now I'm perfect.