When your mindset is different to that of your partner

I like my (and my partner's) situation, where we are both very investment focussed, and willing to make sacrifices now for future benefit. We bounce off each other in terms of ideas, and we definitely have different skill sets.

We have both "brought proposals to the table" (literally, investment-wise) and we discuss them and make sure we are both in support of the investment. We respect each other's knowledge and perspective, and are both willing to listen and learn.

I feel very lucky.

EDIT: I posted and then looked at the thread title and realised I didn't really address the topic, with my response.

So what I really wanted to say was that although my partner and I have very different outlooks/perspectives on investment, we are both pushing in the same direction, which I am very happy about.

I have been in past relationships where investment goals were very different, and it is worlds apart.

 

I think you're right - so long as you both have the same "end goal" in mind then you can negotiate together on how to get there. My wife is pretty much on the same page about our retirement and life plans, but just isn't really interested in all the property stuff that I live and breathe.

"We respect each other's knowledge and perspective, and are both willing to listen and learn." --- Love THIS so much. This is definitely our favoured approach. Mutual respect goes a long way.

 

We were both very much on the same page when we started investing. Now he is disinterested. He likes the idea of an early retirement but not what's required to be done in the meantime to get there. Property investing can be a very lonely business when your partner's not on board.

 

take small steps
Buy less risky /low entry point investments
Sale
Bring some cash back in to bank

Proven successful results($$$$$) may help to change mindset.

 

One only has to walk past the local coffee shops and see all the different people sitting on ex milk crates looking into the screen to work that one out,all sometimes you have to be is a good listener,my wife has a good one liner about what we invest in--"Are we paying for the dog or the pedigree"..

 

Hey @Jennifer Duke

You need to trust in yourself, stop seeking external validation and don't stress if you make a mistake. Its part of the path.....

The more you believe in yourself the more your partner will reflect that, even if they are not interested in PI they will support you if you support yourself. The world around you is just a mirror of whats going on within you.

 

Thanks for all the interesting perspectives on this topic!

At the moment I have a number of investment properties and my boyfriend is not an investor and doesn't seems interested in this area. I wonder if it will work if I keep doing investment in the future using my own income, and when we have a family in the future we both contribute to the family. So I am not planning to use his income for investing, hence don't need to convince him to agree what I am doing, as long as he doesn't against it. Do you think it will work?

Thanks!!

 

My partner never talks investment or business. Only interested in babies and family.

 

Its natural for different people to have different interests of course.

Only problem I can see with your plan is getting equity out of the family home to invest with. I know some peoples partners wouldn't agree to that.

Your serviceability obviously goes a lot further with 2 incomes but no doubt you can develop a strategy suiting 1.

 

Jennifer, I reckon the answer is to not seek participation from your partner. Just shoot for trust and acceptance.
Scott

 

As our finances are joined, all I ask is that she "okays" what I'm doing with our money... I think she'll come round when she understands how the plan can help us have the future we both want .

 

Long term, sure.
Short term can be a bit of a mix as all investments have their ups and downs

 

nothing wrong with that.
let your partner be a partner, you can always find business partners and people to talk business with.

 

So you think it is ok for a couple financially independent on each other? we will both contribute to family but have different financial goal, hence the way we use our saving will be different. That is my plan although I haven't seen much couple doing it this way. I haven't actually have a family yet, so any feedback is welcome.

With future family home (which will settle in about 1.5 yrs), I am planning to split the loan into 2 x half, so we responsible for 1 loan each. I am planning to put most of my saving in my half of the loan (with offset / redraw facility), however when i need to draw money from my offset for investment, I could do it any time and be responsible for the interest for that loan. That way I minimize the risk of his finance by not touching it, meanwhile I still have freedom to invest as long as he doesn't against it.

 

I don't see issue with this, especially if both are working couple. Most friends who combined their finance has one member as the main income source while the other do part time.
My mother could not understand separate finance at all though "you supposed to hold his money. It's all owned by both of you but you control the money" she said

 

I think as @bedeveloper mentioned - proven successful results, once she starts to see this as you progress then it will possibly become easier.

 

Not optimal of course a team is better than 1 player but you can make it work.

I think CBA does those separate loans you mention.

 

Previously my husband has been on a completely different wavelength. He unintentionally derailed everything for several years (although did gain some great life experiences). Late last year the switch flicked, he's now reading investment books (thanks @Chilliblue , finances are now back on track (somewhat - servicing capacity may take a while to prove), and he's joined PC (originally unbeknownst to me - saw his nn in the online list).

I'm grateful he's come around, it's taken almost eight years, there's a bit of woulda/coulda/shoulda resentment, but we're back on the path.

 

kudos to you. Many people would have cut n run and not lasted the 8 years.

 

I think short term fine, but long term there will be resentment.

My ex husband and I did exactly what you are suggesting. We kept our finances completely separate including each having an individual loan for our share of the ppor mortgage.

We pooled money for bills, but the balance of our pay was to do as we each wanted. I invested in property, he saved in the bank.

Ultimately it didn't work. There became an increasing,' this is yours and that's mine mentality' . We were not even remotely on the same page and not working as a team/ family unit. We were two individuals heading towards different financial goals.

Even though our finances were separate, our ppor was owned jointly and this severely impacted my ability to invest on my own as the joint and severally liable thing became an issue, also being joint tenants, I was unable to access equity in the ppor without my husbands permission which he refused to give.

It might work for you, but I can see lots of issues.

I have a new partner with similar goals and life is much different.