What do you do to keep calm?

I'm learning more and more with my work counselling families (15000 sessions and counting!) That being able to stay calm is key and benefits every aspect of your life and helps to avoid so many issues. As soon as people start letting overwhelmed emotions call the shots in their life... it's not pretty.

Im wondering what people do here to stay calm. What perspective do you try to take? What strategies do you try to implement? What works well and what doesn't?

 

Strategy for on-the-spot situation or general?
For a relatively quick relief, I take a walk to the park and/or do short meditation.
Morning swim, go to beach for body boarding weekly, cuddle my dogs, practice piano. Pretty much things that get me to focus on fewer things will help me calm down

 

Walking works best for me ,once you manipulate your surroundings and switch off all the stress just slips away..

Books that can,t be summarised no matter how many times you compress the 500 pages into less the 2 pages also works ..

 

I feel that in the workplace, there is always a village idiot and that's a given.

 

Good point. Money helps give some control over your situation. Thereby reducing the burden of control over yourself when dealing with a potentially overwhelming issue.

People that can't control a situation need to practice self control. Which is a lot more tough.

 

Lots of self care stuff in that list. Nice

 

Shifting your focus from something stressful to somethint calming. Thats always a good strategy.

I reckon maturity boils down to that single ability to shift focus.

A little kid when he gets the wrong color toy can only focus on the fact that "I got a green one but I wanted a blue one!" An adult should be able to shift focus to something calming "oh well they only had the white i phone in stock. Its okay it will work the same as the silver one."

 

i walk to the park almost every day, there's one near Federation square - good view during a relatively sunny day. I will walk this afternoon as well

 

The term I came across were self regulation. I regulate by doing something different and as you said, by doing something that makes it easy for me to change focus. Changing focus by sheer thinking alone can be quite hard in certain mental states.

 

100% agree

 

Immediate - mindful deep breathing (in-two-three, out-two-three as slowly as possible. Slow your breathing and slow your heart rate). Can be done anywhere, anytime.

Longer term - brisk walk in park, or any natural environment.
Marg

 

I was down there a few weeks ago sitting outside on a bench a few streets down from the Hilton near the big train station while the wife was inside the shops and you can feel the vibe and the look in some poor peoples faces as they look around every now and again ---And I was thinking myself if some person while wiring up the suicide vest in one of the carparks their intentions clearly in their mind before they press the button with the intent on killing as many innocent as possible ,what if ...

 

Been struggling with this for some time.

Have made leaps and bounds through a combination of things.

Excuse the length.

Big Picture:

THE most important item on my list.
Set long term to-be goals. Who do I want to be. Are my actions taking me towards my ideal me, or away. Being in integrity provides inner calm in an otherwise chaotic world. I've personally found it tricky in some areas of life, yet has provided a significant shift in mental well-being.

Set long term to-do goals. I set long term plans. Current plan is 3 years long. Includes relationship, health, spiritual, and financial goals. Want to learn kite-surfing? I booked a month in Vietnam and went full immersion. Turns out, I don't enjoy kite surfying. I want to live in South America in 2020, what will that take? I break them down and check in every few months. See where I'm slipping. So far, on track.

In line with above, I schedule 2 weeks ahead.
If it's scheduled, usually gets done.
Gives peace of mind.
Date night, family dinner, friends, tax return (maybe not tax return). Booked.
Like a rocket to the moon, usually go off track every few weeks, have to adjust. Overall really productive.

Leave room to be spontaneous.
Weekend just passed, was going to dinner with my partner. 2 mins before reaching destination, on a whim asked taxi to take us to the airport. Booked first available tickets, cancelled booked plans in the waiting line, and spent an unplanned weekend in Melbourne.

Spend MUCH less than I earn.
@The Y-man states truth.
That last minute trip was pricey.
Being able to afford the unexpected, yet not impact on long term plans is amazing for self confidence. Knowing 'loosing' my job has a negligible financial impact is gold. Thus why I prefer to invest without relying on market growth.

Talk honestly.
When I'm really stressing, I reach out to friends.
Most are in business and can relate.
Really helps knowing I'm not the only one going through a rough patch.
Having friends/family willing to drop everything to come for a coffee is priceless.
Shout-out to @Ace in the Hole for his wise words during my most recent time of need.

Remember not to take the above so seriously. We all die, and turn to dust. Sometimes I forget, my goals are made up targets, insignificant on the grand scale of things, none more important than the aimless flutter of a lady bug.

I acknowledge my emotional state, and let it go. Some days easier than others. Truly understanding how I feel has nothing to do with who I am, or what needs to be done.

Daily Actions:

Bike ride everyehere. Adds up to 60-90 mins/day on average.

Attempting to maintain gym 4 times/week.

Eating healthy (hired a cook to meal prep), and eat at the park by a lake.

Listen to music / fiction books on audible during my bike ride / downtime. Averaging 2-3 books a month.

Quality time with partner/fam/friends.
Dad picks me up from work, and drops me off at least once a week. Get to have a good life chat. Talk to partner at least 15 mins a day (though I'm banned from doing this via bluetooth whilst bike riding).

Gratitude, and meditate every morning. Acknowledging what I have in my life (values, and people, more than things). After a few weeks, it changes your world view.

Areas for improvement:

Sleep.
Running on 3 hrs sleep after last night's property meetup.
I'm notorious for falling asleep on my partner when the clock strikes 10pm.

These are some of what comes to mind.

 

Yes that 's the one -I always book the cheapest room and every time within their rewards system they just upgrade us..I like Melbourne --- the people and with in 10 minutes it rains blows and the sun comes out and the Wife likes the upmarket shops and sea-food jelly fish salad in China town ---just a pity a few want to destroy all that peace..

 

For me, I need something that distracts me. Work is very hectic at the moment and I'm bringing it home. So I read forums, things of interest that will absorb me, then do something active. I find walking without headphones that my mind wanders (usually back to things I don't want it to focus on). I don't mind a complex jigsaw or colouring in puzzle not bad at focussing my mind.

I do admire people who can focus their mind and shut out the chatter....

 

Think Ocean.
Either on it, in it, or under it. It has an amazing calming impact.