So maybe money does make you happier?

@Jelly01
1. It was always hubby’s goal in life to have a tax problem. Earn the money, pay the tax. Focus on what you retain, not what you pay in tax. The tax you pay goes to make life better for others, hospitals, education etc. Take pride in contributing to society.

2. Maybe it’s not the self employment that is the issue, it was your attitude as an employee. “Never work your hardest, take sickies, work half-arsed” is not exactly a good work ethic.

To be fair, most self employed people I know reckon they are working harder than ever, as every cent of profit goes into their pocket.

Now you are self employed, set a reasonable target for your income level. Celebrate your successes. Once you are earning ‘enough”, any more money becomes just that, more money. Earmark it for investments to fund your retirement.

3. The divide you mention was possibly in your mind. Did people treat you differently, or did you start to treat others differently?

I am pleased you are working with a counsellor to achieve greater happiness. You are clearly in an enviable financial position so I hope you manage to find pleasure in your achievements. Maybe take up volunteering, a hobby or sport to give greater work/life balance?
Marg

 

Hi Marg
Thanks for your response.
Yes, I agree it's better to have a positive mindset than a negative one. I happen to work in a profession (law) that is by nature very introspective and critical. Sometimes our professional strengths can become liabilities if they spread into private life.

Yes, this is what my counsellor said too. It's probably the biggest change when one becomes self-employed, and it's something I never faced till I got there. As an employee, as well (or as poorly) as you work, you get paid a wage and maybe a bonus, but that's it. There's not a 100% correlation between effort and reward so you don't feel like you have to maximise either. As a self-employed person, there is a much more direct correlation. It's a lot harder to let go and say no, when every cent of profit goes to yourself. You have to re-wire your pleasure/reward equation, otherwise you become a workaholic. That took a lot of work.

Bit of both, I think. But it's hard to be objective when so much changes at once. The 'success' I had in that timeframe came at a great cost, and I could never have foreseen it.

 

My other half done tax accounting for a number of years , and her opinion was that PAYG workers get their tax taken out by the employer and never see it , but for people that run their own business, they collect the money, and then have to set some aside ,and then give it back to the taxman , and it really hurts to give something back that you think belongs to you.
For a lot of tradies that ran their own business the temptation was to not put enough aside for the taxman and come EOFY they had a big tax bill.
Even when earning a 6 figure sum, all I really looked at was the amount that I could save and pour into paying of the IP , go on holidays and save more.
Watching the interest payments slowly go down and IPs being paid off was more important than just being tax effective.
But for some of my old work colleagues, it really ate them up on how much tax they paid.

 

Thank you for sharing. So it does go to show that you became more off the person you were. Since you were not content in the previous financial position or your life you became even more discontent with more money.
You see my mentor Jim Rohn said:
- Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.
- The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become. That is why I wish to pay fair price for every value. If I have to pay for it or earn it, that makes something of me. If I get it for free, that makes nothing of me.
Sometimes we don't realize perhaps it is OK to go through life the way it presents itself with challenges, perhaps if everything in life was given to us it would not make us of value as my mentor said. Sometimes we don't pause and reflect perhaps my life is actually not so bad and those challenges were the stepping stones to the necessary lessons of life to be learned?
That's how I try to evaluate my life and realize it is really great, I am living here, I am healthy, have great circle of family and friends, have more time to spend on my choices in life, do what I really love to do...sometimes we need to shift our thinking, that's all!

 

Is happiness a direct result of being rich or poor, successful or unsuccessful, sick or healthy, smart or unsophisticated, beautiful or ugly….? It doesn’t appear so: I’ve come across both happy and unhappy people with these characteristics.

Is happiness positivity or optimism? Indeed happy people seem to find positive meaning and exude positive emotions in most situations, and yet an optimistic person isn’t necessarily happy.

Is happiness satisfaction? Not exactly, satisfaction is a mood that swings with the state of your affairs while happiness is a more steady state of being.

Is happiness a feeling of self worth? Nah, we all know how much unhappiness pride can bring.

Is happiness love? Hard to be happy if you’re full of hate, but unfortunately not all loving people are happy.

So what’s this elusive thing we call happiness? It’s elusive because happy people don’t seem to strive for it while those who strive the hardest never seem to find it.

So… does money bring happiness? Trick question. To try to answer it will tie you in knots and distract you from being really happy!

 

To me the issue was and still is your self employed work. You said “I still chase money because I want to retire early”.
You received let’s call it 5mil which would have allowed you to retire with a gross passive annnual income of let’s call it 250k.

Why did you stay working in a job that doesn’t sound the most fulfilling.

 

Haha I swore I read it as 7 figure!
Yeah makes more sense now

 

I believe that wealth earned is better retained and managed if it is gradual.