The following article was published in an industry newsletter. Thought I would share a giggle with you! STRANGE TENANT REQUESTS TO PROPERTY MANAGERS Have your sense of humour ready for these they are not meant to offend, of course! 1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it. 2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore. 3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow. 4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 7. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. 8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? 9. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. 10. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 11. 50% of the wall are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50 % are just plain filthy. 12. I am still having problems with smoke in my drawers. 13. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 14. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. 15. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. 16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. 17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it. 18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. 19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. 20. I have had the Clerk of Works down on the floor six times but still I have no satisfaction. 21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get The ABC.
I would recommend that the problem no. 12 could be solved by waiting a little longer after sex before putting onher drawers
Here are two of mine: Landlord: “Why is the window (1.5 metre high in the living room) broken?" Tenant: "I was using my whipper snipper and accidentally broke the window" (yeah right, I hope you did not throw things around during a fight and broke the window) Landlord: “Why is there a hole (1.8 metre above the ground) in bedroom door?" Tenant: "I was moving my furniture and accidentally it fell over and the edge hit the door" (yeah right, I hope you controlled your temper during a fight so you did not punch the door)
Nice collection! One of my favourites was tenants asking me for a discount while they were away on holiday. And then looking genuinely upset that they have to pay the same when they "wouldn't even be there for 2 weeks".
