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Property Management Humour

Discussion in 'Property Management' started by Rixter, 20th Jun, 2015.

  1. Rixter

    Rixter Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    572
    Location:
    Portfolio Perth Brisbane Sydney Melbourne
    The following article was published in an industry newsletter. Thought I would share a giggle with you!

    STRANGE TENANT REQUESTS TO PROPERTY MANAGERS

    Have your sense of humour ready for these they are not meant to offend, of course!


    1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.

    2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

    3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.

    4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

    5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

    6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

    7. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

    8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

    9. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

    10. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

    11. 50% of the wall are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50 % are just plain filthy.

    12. I am still having problems with smoke in my drawers.

    13. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

    14. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

    15. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

    16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

    17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

    18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

    19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

    20. I have had the Clerk of Works down on the floor six times but still I have no satisfaction.

    21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get The ABC.
     
    SWprop, MJS1034, dan_89 and 10 others like this.
  2. Coota9

    Coota9 Well-Known Member Premium Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    970
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Very nice Rix!
     
  3. Pistonbroke

    Pistonbroke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    395
    Location:
    Guangzhou
    I would recommend that the problem no. 12 could be solved by waiting a little longer after sex before putting onher drawers ;)
     
    Scott No Mates likes this.
  4. Kael

    Kael Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    277
    Location:
    Sydney, NSW
    I couldn't stop laughing at these ones for some reason! xD Nice!
     
  5. Xenia

    Xenia Adelaide Property Manager Business Member

    Joined:
    21st Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    2,347
    Location:
    4/136 The Parade Norwood, South Australia
    I've seen these before but will never get tired of them.
     
  6. Gaby

    Gaby Member

    Joined:
    21st Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    23
    Location:
    Sydney
    Great post! good laugh
     
  7. DiligentPM

    DiligentPM Well-Known Member Business Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    443
    Location:
    Brisbane
    Love humour
     
  8. htopg

    htopg Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    23rd Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    202
    Location:
    Sydney
    Here are two of mine:
    Landlord: “Why is the window (1.5 metre high in the living room) broken?"
    Tenant: "I was using my whipper snipper and accidentally broke the window"
    (yeah right, I hope you did not throw things around during a fight and broke the window)

    Landlord: “Why is there a hole (1.8 metre above the ground) in bedroom door?"
    Tenant: "I was moving my furniture and accidentally it fell over and the edge hit the door"
    (yeah right, I hope you controlled your temper during a fight so you did not punch the door)
     
  9. Angel

    Angel Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    19th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    1,294
    Location:
    Paradise, Brisbane
    What happened to Fully Lucky?
     
  10. Hive_Dan

    Hive_Dan Member

    Joined:
    1st Jul, 2015
    Posts:
    8
    Location:
    Brisbane
    Nice collection! One of my favourites was tenants asking me for a discount while they were away on holiday. And then looking genuinely upset that they have to pay the same when they "wouldn't even be there for 2 weeks".
     
    HUGH72 likes this.