Pre marital sex

Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.

 

Did he said to her he is happy to wait? Depending on his approach, trying to kiss and hug when she's not feeling comfortable can be felt as pressure. What she consider as intimate might not be kissing and stuff.

 

wow.. what a problem to have.. here I am trying to figure out how to "unlearn" a skill I just learned a while ago from a different post. "The correct way of opening a gate"

 

haha ok everyone, I just thought cherry boy was a reference to a virgin male.......

I need to be australianised a bit more

 

Well clearly he is not happy or he wouldn't be complaining about it to people outside the relationship.

And, what's more, who is to say what is 'unhealthy'?

Again, her body her choice.

He doesn't have to stay in the relationship, but he does need to respect her wishes about her sexuality either way.

 

I really don't see the point you are trying to make here. But then I don't understand it when people say 2 + 2 = 5 either

 

Psychologists actually.

 

It's pretty natural for someone in his circumstances to both question whether or not the relationship is working for them and confide in a family member the circumstances of their relationship and doubt.

Hardly see how this means he is not respecting her wishes.

I also think relationships are two way streets and intimacy is a well known significant part of any serious realationship. I think you will struggle to find a physiologist or relationship counsellor that does not think intimacy is important.

Intimacy is more than just sex obviously and doesn't have to mean she changes her moral stance.

 

I was referring to the fact that @Joynz was making up facts.

 

But you quoted ME. Hence the confusion.

 

interesting responses so far but I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding

obviously im hearing only one side,

but he is concerend not by the viewpoint but by the implication of certains words such as "let" or ":allow"

another comparison would be if he said to her "id only allow attractive women t o date me" or "Im letting you come to dinner with me"
obviously the mindset is whats important on this matter

 

What stands out is that the statement "If I'm going to allow a guy to touch me he has to be the one" sounds like she is talking about a hypothetical person she has yet to meet, and as such is acknowledging that your cousin is not the one.

 

I actually think you're all missing the point....how's that for an attention-getting start to a post

More to the point is this: this won't be the only cultural difference he will come across (so to speak) in this relationship. It would be well worth his while for them both to sit down, ideally with a marriage counsellor, and discuss a whole range of issues. For example, every year when her family come over to visit for two months, will they be staying with the happy couple? What is her attitude towards children and religion? (I mean, raising them in a religion) Will she expect him to accept one or both of her parents moving in with them as they age?

You can see that the attitude towards premarital sex is simply the tip of the iceberg.

 

I think they need to positively gear their relationship which should help their personal net worth.

 

Well theyre pretty early in the relatio ship

I wouldnt necessarily say that comment =he is not the one.
To me that means he may be the one but only once they are married

 

Experience tells me that it is best for you not to worry about it as he is an adult and will probably do what he wants even if there are issues.

Its their relationship let them have it.

 

Yep, please do the above. Let them be. The worst you can do is intervene.

 

You need to let some people make their own mistakes, that's the only way they'll learn valuable lessons.

 

I know everyone is entitled to live their own lives how they want, but in my opinion it's a mistake to:

• Not have sex before marriage
• Not to live together before marriage
• Not go on holidays before marriage
• Not to ensure that you're on the same page about life goals before marriage
• Get married within the honeymoon phase
• Get married because someone expects you to

Oblivious it doesn't mean that your marriage will fail (or be an unhappy one, which I also count as a failed marriage), but it just increases the potential massively.

 

I conducted a survey this morning.

And I found that 100% of people who put out on the 1st date had a wonderful marriage.