Pope's new laws on sexual abuse

Pope Passes New Law Requiring Clergymen to Report Sex Abuse

Pope: Gentlemen, I've decided to implement new laws

Bishop Juju: that's racist, you can't call us gentlemen, there could be women here.

Pope: You mean sexist you silly tit? Racism is where we, I mean people, discriminate on race. This is what I have to deal with. .. we have never accepted women into this sacrosanct.

Bishops: <murmuring in agreement>

Pope: the law means you are obliged to report sexual abuse.

Cardinal G: oh come on, that's not fair

Bishop X: well my career aspirations have just been destroyed

Bishop Meek and Mild: I have something to say

Bishops: <all turning in astonishment, for Meek never speaks>

Bishop Meek and Mild: How is that different to the eighth commandment?

Bishop X: you mean thou shalt not.. ..do bad stuff?

Bishop Meek: Thou shalt not bear false witness

Bishops: <puzzled looks>

Bishop Meek: Thou shalt not lie

 

Noice, speaking as who was baptised as a lapsed Roman Catholic.

 

It's an Ecclesiastical law I've draft and submitted to El Papa for implementation by the next Vatican council. A preemptive approach.

 

I have lost all faith in the men who run? the Catholic church, but not the Catholic faith ...

 

I can't say I have faith as such but believe in the good in people, and agree with you.

 

The last time I was in church I pinched the wine and later in the confession box I puked when asked what I thought about my stealing.