Mindset!!

Mostly excuses from my perspective. In the words of my latest read "she doesn't even know she has a problem".

 

Hi Bran,
the best way to help your sister is to not buy into her reality. Your belief about her will help her immensely - hold the vision of her being capable of anything.
Also, don't ever go against her current view point, it's just where she is in her mind currently for whatever reason - make it OK for her to be there. We are all very different and at different stages and not one is better than another.

Drop subtle hints - I'm too old, instead of saying, no you're not and here are a thousand reasons why, just say. Are you? Why? This forces her to explore her own answers within.

No one needs to be saved and no one needs to be changed and that is not our job, our job is to be different enough that people will want to follow and ask the right questions for people to make the change within themselves should they choose to. If they don't choose to - make that OK too. Question it, give her lots of psychological space to approach you if she wants to but never force anything.

My 2 cents worth

 

When I grew up I always wanted to be a professional athlete, but the reality was I didn’t have the physical attributes for my chosen sport (basketball), and lack the genetics to be a professional sprinter. Genetics is by far the biggest factor in athletic success, so much so that training is relatively unimportant by comparison. Most of the factors that contribute to how fast you can run are biologically fixed and not subject to change through training, and even the adaptations to training are carried out according to genetic instructions. The range of possible performance for a given individual is biologically delimited, and the differences between individuals are so great that one person's baseline or untrained state can easily be superior to another person's genetic ceiling. Plus there is also the durability of the athlete, ability to handle the workload etc.

That’s life though dreams don’t always come true. There’s only 0.0001% of people on the planet who will be able to make a living from playing in the NBA or travelling around the world competing in Golden League events. Making money on the other hand is possible for pretty much anybody that isn’t physical or mentally handicapped (at least if you live in Australia).

 

That is just part of growing up - only a few people achieve their "dreams" - the rest of us hit a point where we adjust to reality. Nothing to be saddened about - just human nature.

We all dream high - often in areas where there is very little chance of success. Later we find some more realistic goals and set about achieving them. Sometimes we realise what we were dreaming about actually is not that special anyway.

 

It’s not 50/50 it’s about 90/10. The average height of a professional basketballer in the NBA and European leagues is 6’8. The reality is that basketball is a tall man’s game. Same with sprinting it’s all about the fast twitch muscles and genetics. My fastest times are 10.94 100m and 21.69 200m. I could quit my job and spend 24/7 working on sprinting and I doubt I would even be able to get to 10.5 100m and 20.99 200m, let alone sub 10 and sub 20, which is the times you need to be capable of to actually make a career out of the sport.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/jonentine/2012/08/12/the-dna-olympics-jamaicans-win-sprinting-genetic-lottery-and-why-we-should-all-care/

Apart from genetics you do need a lot of mental strength though (mainly to get through injuries and the bad times). I remember before Usain Bolt came out and smashed the 2008 Olympics there was a talented sprinter who was raising eyebrows and was the first US sprinter to win the 100,200, and 400 at the NCAA since Jesee Owens. His name was Xavier Carter. He ran a 19.6 200m in 2007 and had the world at his feet, but he got injured, started partying, got a few police charges and nobody ever heard from him since. Same as if Usain Bolt stopped training obviously he wouldn’t be the fastest in the world anymore and somebody else would take his crown. However, hard work only beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. At the elite level everybody works hard!

 

I know 3 people who studied for a medical degree when they were older. It's difficult at the time, but it doesn't take that long.
At least with psychology it's kind of in stages, so even if she wanted to stop at some point, she could be a counsellor or a social worker.
I have absolutely no interest in having people spill their guts to me for a living

 

I liked it, but deserves another one.

 

I agree. My patients spend most of their time with me asleep.

 

My brother in law is like this. He once decided he wanted to change careers but announced to my family he was "too old". I think he was around 35 at the time. My parents were both shocked because they were both completing Masters at the time and both aged over 50.

My parents are great role models: completed Masters aged over 50, moved cities to get promotions in their chosen fields, started property investing later in life. Now in their late 70's they are still active property investors. Last year they finished a major reno on their Melbourne IP. They just sold their Brisbane IP and had an offer accepted on a block to build a new PPoR. They don't believe in "too old".

30 is very young to give up on your dreams.

 

I will try my best and get back to you

 

Call me weird but I love it

 

Totally agree with this.
No matter how hard you try and how dedicated and how much you dream, you have physical limits predetermined at birth.
Nobody really wants to believe this to stay positive, but sooner or later you have to be realistic.

Imagine if a young kid on a remote island was told a lie that he could run a sub 9 second 100m, if he trains hard, eats a strict diet and does everything right.
So this kid does this all through his developmental years until 18 years old, but still only running high 10's.
He keeps asking when is he going to get under 9 during this whole time, and keeps getting told that he will get there if he keeps up his strict diet, training and recovery program.
Eventually he speaks to hundreds of other athletes when he visits a developed country who tell him it's all a lie, it will never happen.
How do you think the kid will feel?

Some dreams are meant to be just dreams.

 

We have a whole new generation who are being taught they can do anything.
A lack of discipline combined with the celebrity culture, we have a lot to look forward to in a few years from these delightful creatures.

 

There are loads of examples in life of folks who had less talent, but a bigger work ethic, who succeeded.

 

She's not trying to fly unassisted to the moon, I think a degree (any degree) and a career change is absolutely possible at 30 - by anyone who wants it.

 

In theory, anyone can do anything within the laws of physics.

No one should stop them trying. And no would should stop before trying, if it's something important to them.

 

Hehe, nice analogy.
For some people it's all just a bit too hard, so why bother trying.