Legal Tip 233: Should You treat All of your Children Equally in your will?

Most readers would probably say yes, all children should be treated equally, but what if:

a) There is a large gap in wealth between them?

b) One is a gambler?

c) One is a frequent divorcer?

d) One is a spender?

e) One is the wrong religion?

f) One has kids when the other doesn’t?


Would this make a difference?


Example

Homer and Marge have 4 kids and their will leaves everything equally to them. After they kids are growing up they notice differences and soon Bart is on his 3rd marriage while recovering from his 2nd bankruptcy.

Lisa is very rich.

Maggie has a drug dependency and hangs around people Homer calls the ‘deros’.

They also had a 4th kid, Noname, who is ‘normal’ and happily married with 2 kids, but has converted to a religion which requires their adherents to donate 30% of their salary to a ‘church’. The leaders of this Church drive around in expensive cars and live rent free in expensive church property.


(in this example Homer and Marge and the rest of the world would probably better off instructing their executor to sell everything and burn the cash).

 

Lisa probably worked her a*se off to become very rich.

Leaving estates unequally, especially if there was no prior discussion, often leads to family rifts that are never healed. I have seen it far too often and the kids become completely estranged.

Even appointing executors can be tricky if you are choosing between siblings.

Exception to be considered would be if a disabled, drug-addicted or otherwise dependent person was involved.

 

Well, if the kids are in a mess now they probably hate each other already so leaving the Estate equally isn't likely to make much difference.

 

Quote..
Bart is on his 3rd marriage while recovering from his 2nd bankruptcy.
i would leave it all to Bart ,,as there is always a degree of competition in relationships when the family turn up at the wake and they find Bart has more family that no one ever knew about and the free drinks end and become
''pretty--outspoken ''when the will is read out..

 

set up trust to donate to charity.

 

My father left everything equal. My brother hasn’t had a job in over ten years. He also disowned my father and they hadn’t spoken in a long time. He was happy when dad died. I could have made much better use of the money but fair is fair. Everything should be equal.

 

Equal is not necessarily the preferred outcome however none of the situations pointed out by @Terry_w would give rise to a necessity for provision greater for one than any of the other sprogs.

 

My parents had a large number of children - boys and girls.
Left EVERYTHING to two boys. As they were in business together it was a different scenario than usual but even Mum’s jewellery - not worth a fortune but had definite sentimental value especially to her daughters. Even a little mention of other children in the will would have made it less hurtful to some. Last kicker was when the two beneficiaries expected everyone to contribute to the not insignificant cost of headstones.

 

Wow. Just wow.

 

Did your brothers immediately set up trusts for their siblings by any chance where you each received an endowment (I suspect not) ? Which nationality or culture?

 

I know of a Australian family of English background who believed that girls marry well and boys support their wives. So they bought their daughter a brand new car for her 17th birthday, put her through uni and left everything to her, while the son had to fully support himself through uni and beyond. It turns out that he has done very well for himself and his household, whereas she saved nothing as an adult, then bought a house from her father's estate. Previously single, she married the first guy who turned up on the scene once she inherited and was divorced exactly two years later. She and their mother have both been swindled in later-life marriages and the son has bought his mother her own unit now with his own cash.

 

I suppose that means Christmas is going to be a bit awkward...

 

Leaving estates equally, even if there was prior discussion, can lead to family rifts that may never be healed. I have seen it far too close to home and the kids become nearly completely estranged.

My sister and I were our mother’s executors and some of our siblings got upset when we actioned our mother’s wishes.

One needs to be of strong character, have high integrity, document everything, seek legal advice, ...

 

For what it's worth my view is if the beneficiaries have issues it's their problem not the benefactors provided the Will maker does consider allocation of the assets in a fair and reasonable way.

Trouble is my definition of "fair and reasonable" is likely to be different to another persons including possibly a beneficiary. Animosity and money don't mix.

Set things up in the most tax effective way with asset protection for beneficiaries in mind according to your perceived needs of individuals at the time of making or revising your Will and be done with it. Any **** fight after my demise isn't going to be my problem.

 

Thanks Satay, this is a great idea, do you know someone in Brisbane so I can come to talk about this?

 

Cannot help I'm afraid. I don't live in Brisbane.

 

Try view legal

 

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