Kids being bullied

I was having an interesting chat with my friend about his daughter being bullied when she was in primary school. There was this particular girl who would always pick on her and sit behind her and kick her chair relentlessly. Called her names in the playground and would throw erasers at her. She would never retaliate and always tell the teachers but 4 months on and nothing would change. Long story short her parents told her if she does it again to say loudly to stop it and if she continues to then push her back much harder. She did exactly this and that girl never bullied her again.

I'm also of the view that kids need to be assertive and vocal about not being bullied and if it continues after teacher intervention fails to then hit back much harder and let them know you won't stand to be bullied, which is what I plan to instill in my daughter.

Just wondering how parents approach this with their kids and any successful methods they've used.



Thanks

 

No. Thank you Sackie. Interesting topic.

Look. I recall at school I was mainly the bullier. I'd take lunch money off weaker students. If some one spoke with a lisp or showed effeminate traits, they'd cop it.

Certainly nothing to be proud of. But the thing about being a bully is one day you'll bully the wrong person.

I recall wedging a new student on the quadrangle. He had his hair in a band and it stood up like a rooster. Cop that rooster boy I yelled.

Little did I know he was a 3rd dan karate kicker. After picking myself up off the concrete I headed for the tuck shop where I grabbed a bag of frozen peas to soothe my nether regions.

Lesson learned. I also avoided the mash potatoes and peas they served up the following week lol.

 

Thanks for sharing. I too regret some bulleying moments ( I being the mongrel). I think bulleying is so unfortunate because it really can make a child's life miserable. And I think more ppl go through it than is reported. Probably due to the shame kids may feel. I would never want my kid to experience any on going bulleying. Good point about karate lessons. Planning to send her as soon as she can walk.

 

Perth Martial Arts | Jan de Jong Perth Ju Jutsu and Aikido Training

 

Having previously bullied children as well (looks like PC is full of bad people), I don't think fighting back or martial arts is the answer.
A lot of the time people are bullied by more than one person, which makes fighting back difficult, if not impossible.
Be assertive, definitely, but I don't think kicking and punching is the greatest course of action.
Being married to a teacher, I can tell you that schools take accusations of bullying very seriously these days.

 

Having a chat to the parent of the bully may also be a good option.It worked for me.

 

I think all schools think they are pro active with bullying but it's not always the case. I worked at 2 "rough" schools. I moved to a school in a "good" area. Sounds over the top but teachers carried a clip board and noted EVERY incident. I laughed when I read some- threw grass. BUT if someone's name was in that book 3 times they had an interview with the principal.
I then went to another great school. But if there was an incident the teacher had to follow it up with the head teacher. So tell me. Your playground duty ends and you have 20 minutes to have your lunch, go to the toilet, grab work etc. Yup give the kid a warning. That kids might do the same thing every day. Who knows?
Kids need to learn strategies for dealing with these kids. Who's job is i? Schools do some but parents need to as well. Talk about what's acceptable behavior and what to do in certain circumstances.. You don't want your kid bullied but to don't want your kid to be the bully either.

 

I think I'm with you that parents need to equip kids on how to respond to bullies. I think raising your child with high self-esteem and value of self worth is important. As well as what is acceptable behaviour and what isn't. At the end of the day I wouldn't want my kid to keep telling the teachers and nothing changes. Sometimes I think bullies will only back off when they realise you aren't a push over.

 

Cyber bullying seems to be one of the greatest concerns in the last few years.

 

Yeah that's huge. As well as bulleying through phones.

 

Please dont send her to Karate or Kungfu, leave that for the movies

Get her to some BJJ classes for a start and then if she wants to go further as she gets older can move into muahthai/Mma etc.

I was severely bullied at primary school, so much so my parents took me out and homeschooled me my entire life.. Some kids don’t have the confidence to stand up and that’s what the likes of jujitsu can give them, confidence. Not to use it, but to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations.

I place most if not all of my mindset on martial arts as I started at age 10, and 19yrs later have had just over 30 fights, half of those in the cage or at a high level muaythai.

Psychology is 80% of fighting and once you can control your own mind, everything around you is easier to deal with, including bullies.

 

How did you find home schooling? Great that you have the confidence now not to allow bullies to take advantage of you.

I was actually thinking of sending her to Krav Maga. The owner of the original school lives near me and runs classes. I used to do it when I was younger and it's all practical stuff. Great exercise.

Btw congrats on your achievement at the level you achieved!

 

Homeschooling is tough, for both parties I think! Looking back I wouldn’t change it but it does have other affects especially when you start to interact around high school. I think it’s more important to have the social side now days. I’ve seen a bunch of kids not be able to integrate after it so can go both ways. I think the fighting was the difference for me

Can’t speak for Krav, but spent years in karate, TKD even to black belt & can attest to most martial arts not being practical outside of the gym. I think that’s what I like about BJJ and especially with girls, it’s physical from day 1, practical from day 1, and strength isn’t a huge factor.

Ive seen a ton of female white belts with 3 months experience, still tap and sleep guys in the gym.

 

Junior had a few bullies in her primary school years - girls can be so bitchy, even at such a young age. More emotional bullying than anything physical.

Never stopped me from getting in the face of the bullies and telling them to back off ... and she never had an issue again with them. The only time I've had issues is when I've tried to bring it up with the parent - parents don't cope real well with the truth about their precious darlings.

I did once watch her copping some nasty jibes from another girl in the school ground, and told that other girl what I thought straight up - only to have a teacher, who was barely a few meters, who did nothing to intervene, away say "we are dealing with it". My reply "Sure didn't look like it" and left it at that.

 

Thanks Datto for sharing...

And sorry to say it is precisely to counter people like you that i enrolled all my kids in Tae Kwon Do since they were young

(one thing i like is they huff and puff and " yell out" quite a bit during these classes and i think they articulate how to puff up and be strong mentally) (think hoo ha! Chop ya! things like that ...)

 

Also to add bullying does not stop in the schools...they extend over to the workplace....once a bully.....

Terrible

 

My theory is once you ( parents) screw up their kids from young.... will affect them for decades to come.

 

Yeah that'd **** me off big time.

 

When I was in High School many many moons ago.
One bully got a lighter and he heated it up and burn me on my arm in a class room full of students.
I recalled it was a burning sensation on my arm. I didn't make a sound or cry.
Basically got out of my chair - picked up the chair and smashed it over his head.
We both got suspended from school, my parents wanted to sue the school for doing nothing about my burn arm.

After that incident - no bully dare call me names or picked a fight with me.

There is a little psychopath characteristics in all of us.