Entertainment & Music Joke Thread

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by HD_ACE, 18th Jun, 2015.

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  1. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    It's the luck of the drawer (sic), this thread is derailed. :confused:
     
    Scott No Mates, 9th Apr, 2021
    #581
    twisted strategies likes this.
  2. Purple Patch

    Purple Patch Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-4-9_21-51-53.png
     
    Purple Patch, 9th Apr, 2021
    #582
    KateSydney, Pumpkin, Ted Varrick and 3 others like this.
  3. Piston_Broke

    Piston_Broke Well-Known Member

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    IMG_3966[1747].JPG
     
    Piston_Broke, 10th Apr, 2021
    #583
    jaybean, datto and twisted strategies like this.
  4. balwoges

    balwoges Well-Known Member

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    balwoges, 10th Apr, 2021
    #584
    twisted strategies likes this.
  5. Piston_Broke

    Piston_Broke Well-Known Member

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    Not as odd as Prince Phillip's, but i try.
     
    Piston_Broke, 12th Apr, 2021
    #585
    datto, twisted strategies and Scott No Mates like this.
  6. twisted strategies

    twisted strategies Well-Known Member

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    BOOM BOOM !!
     
    twisted strategies, 12th Apr, 2021
    #586
  7. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-4-15_17-52-45.png
     
    Scott No Mates, 15th Apr, 2021
    #587
    Purple Patch and twisted strategies like this.
  8. Momentum

    Momentum Well-Known Member

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    My wife screamed "you haven't listened to a single word I've said, have you?"

    What a weird way to start a conversation
     
    Momentum, 17th Apr, 2021
    #588
    AsburyJuke, Coffee, craigc and 4 others like this.
  9. Clean Cookie

    Clean Cookie Well-Known Member

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    Seeing as I'm a sparky here's a few...

    Why couldn't the electrician install the chandelier?

    He was feeling light headed.

    People are shocked to find out I'm not a good electrician.

    How many counselors does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, the light bulb has to want to change.

    People often ask what the best GPO is. It's so common I made a power point presentation.

    Why do inmate's make for terrible electricians?

    They're always con-fused.

    Sparkies are best at which sport?
    Pole-volt.

    And yes. Almost everyone hates working around me with my stupid jokes. A few aren't phased though. ;)
     
    Clean Cookie, 17th Apr, 2021
    #589
    datto and Scott No Mates like this.
  10. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad that I'm not a chippy, otherwise you'd think that I was unhinged. :confused:
     
    Scott No Mates, 17th Apr, 2021
    #590
    datto likes this.
  11. Clean Cookie

    Clean Cookie Well-Known Member

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    I think you'd find yourself framed in with someone like me.

    Where do chippies hide their money?

    In a truss fund
     
    Clean Cookie, 17th Apr, 2021
    #591
  12. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    At 7.30 this morning I sent my apprentice down the road to the hardware shop for a long weight.

    He came back at knock off time empty-handed.
     
    Scott No Mates, 17th Apr, 2021
    #592
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  13. Clean Cookie

    Clean Cookie Well-Known Member

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    Surprised you didn't send him to the second hand dealers.Did the clock survive the fall? Must've been a short day when time flew!
     
    Clean Cookie, 17th Apr, 2021
    #593
  14. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    ....UKI nth nsw ....
    [​IMG]
     
    willair, 17th Apr, 2021
    #594
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  15. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    I had to intervene in an argument between my two labourers on site today. I pulled the two guys apart and got them to settle down.

    Once they'd cooled down a tad, I asked what were you arguing about?

    The first says we're trying to see who is the smartest of the two of us.

    I say, "Yeah, so why the fisticuffs? "

    He says that "he's the smartest & I know **** nothing".

    I disagree, I says "I know f*** all".
     
    Scott No Mates, 17th Apr, 2021
    #595
  16. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

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    Mt Druuiitt
    [​IMG]
     
    datto, 30th Apr, 2021
    #596
    Piston_Broke, craigc, Pumpkin and 7 others like this.
  17. Gockie

    Gockie Life is good ☺️ Premium Member

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    DCC19379-E674-446C-B770-0D11844BDEE1.jpeg
     
    Gockie, 2nd May, 2021
    #597
    sharon, Piston_Broke, craigc and 3 others like this.
  18. kierank

    kierank Well-Known Member

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    Is this street in Melbourne the worst joke of 2021?
     

    Attached Files:

    kierank, 3rd May, 2021
    #598
  19. Piston_Broke

    Piston_Broke Well-Known Member

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    IMG_3677.JPG
     
    Piston_Broke, 4th May, 2021
    #599
  20. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    May the 4th be with you.
     
    wylie, 4th May, 2021
    #600
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