It's Complicated

To be fair, it is difficult to find full-time work. I'm just concerned that her friend is getting involved and making it unnecessarily difficult and that you focus on spending time with your children regardless of what happens. Now, it needs to be about what you want with focus on the best interests of the children. Of course you should try and negotiate a fair outcome for both of you.

 

You can get the agreement together or through an FDR service - its really up to you guys since they are just different paths to get to the same place.

Its wayyy too early for the Form 11 since that's probably the last step you need actually implement what has been agreed. The Form 11 is an awful working document too, so best to usually ignore it until right at the end.

 

How about moving out?

Should I move out, I've been told that may not be a good move legally as you're the one that's upped and left?

Superannuation, what's the split, we have a SMSF and put different amounts into start, I've contributed for her to get Got Co contribions over the years she wasn't working - I thought dissolve SMSF, return original amounts each plus 50pc each of last 15 years

Spousal maintenance - is this something that could come up?

 

I asked her what would happen if I resigned and found a local job (would be less pay) so I could do 50/50 with the kids, she said it wouldn't be fair on them to uproot each week (I agree)

 

Get some decent legal advice. Do not touch the SMSF until you have legal advice as to what to do. You need some one specializing in the family law act.

 

Some might say it would not be fair for them to not see their father. Each family is different. Get some legal advice and I would consider seeking some professional psychological support as well.

 

When you've extricated yourself from this chronically painful time a little, this is an option you can consider quietly for yourself. Sounds like a good idea to me.

 

Just a thought also re: SMSF I presume any shares held within would have to be sold to assist with division of superannuation, or can you split holdings?

I'm assuming we will both need to open new separate super accounts so that we can provide these details to current SMSF platform to allow for the funds to be rolled out of the SMSF and into the new super funds.

Has anyone been through this process previously?

 

No and no.

You could both remain members of a SMSF. Whether it is wise or not would be a different consideration

 

As for the kids, I installed a keypad lock for the step kids, they come and go as they please.
Living close by helps (having the ex living close by can be difficult when you move on, seeing each other at the supermarket/shops).
Yes yours are likely too young for the code pad currently.
Week about is awful, but there is no reason why you couldn't ask for 50% and leave the choice of how often and when for the kids to decide on.

It makes for a sad time, things could be much worse, so chin up.
I've seen a few FIFO friends go thru the same, they each developed different lives over time.
At least you didn't come home to find your bank accounts empty and a pile of clothes at the letterbox with an AVO !

 

I think you need to be "separated" for 12 months before divorcing.
A friend of mine and her husband continued to live in the same house but had separate rooms, separate bathroom, did own shopping, kept separate pantry.
He worked shift work. Kids got to have access to both parents.
I thought it would be awkward but they seemed to make it work for the 12 months before making everything formally split and official.

 

I have had clients with a SMSF split their respective balances prior to the finalisation of the Family Court issues. The Court will include super whether its in a SMSF or any other type of fund. Problem with splitting earlier arise if it harms one of the members. Getting the SMSF split so its one member and not two may avoid some disgreements and disputes in some cases but all parties must agree. You cant roll a member out of a SMSF without their approval. BOTH members legal advisers need to be involved asap and OK the SMSF winding up or any rollovers and the approach. They may agree to leave the fund alone for now provided no changes (ie asset sales, purchases etc) are made except by mutual agreement of each trustee and their adviser. If all agree and the accounting allocations are all fair and reasonable then its not a big issue. Transparency and mutual agreement is preferable to court orders to have the fund frozen etc