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Handling Challenges in life

Discussion in 'Investor Psychology' started by Darlinghurst Boy, 19th Dec, 2015.

  1. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    Is Anxiety becoming a "norm" nowadays ?
    Has it become normal to feel anxious ?
    Even watching people in a shopping centre last week all rushing..pratically hitting each other with their trolleys..
    I was standing in an line at Australia Post last week waiting in line when an old guy in one of those motorised sit down scooter things blasts his horn at me and pratically hits me from behind.

    Of course he had in the past people apologising to him after he had done that..they would look startled and say ,oh im sorry !! And the old fart would get away with his anxiety attack.
    Well it didnt work with me...i immediately turned around and said to him in front of other shoppers .."Are you ok ?
    "You seem to be suffering from a anxiety attack...its ok...now take deep breathes as i went closer to him...take deep breathes ..i know how hard it must be sitting in that all day...keep ya breathing up "...we are all waiting in line..wont be long"

    All of a sudden the old fart he was gone..hit his accelator and off he went.
    An over anxiius guy who thinks its the norm.

    Many of you say you can handle challenges and obstacles in life but until you've been there you"ll never know.

    How many times have you had a work colleague who you thought and made out they could handle challenges and even a crisis only to find they have run off or even in the other scale become flustered...red in the face..anxious ..panicky..tc etc.peed their pants.

    They say if you are a person like that you have been brought up that way...which is probaly true.
    I used to be a person like that..getting anxious..flustered etc instead of thinking about the problem/challenge and working out a strategy to overcome it.

    Isnt that the key to stop...think..and work out the strategy .

    It happened to me again last week..when my tenant was making a urgent list of repairs..now i rang the Property manager who i could tell by the tone of her voice was very overly anxious as im talking to her..it occurred to me she wouldnt be able to arrange the urgent repairs and the tenant had been shouting at her " get someone now !! Get someone now !!!
    Apparently the garage door wouldnt close.

    So i knew a handyman i was going to call.


    So i done it myself which wasnt easy..rang the handyman...AND had to leave a message and WAIT for his call...at the same time i had my work calling me about a work related matter (where i mentioned before i was under investigation for allegedly making "mee oww" noises on the phone to a supervisor on level 8 and then hanging up)

    So i had the mobile ringing back with tradesman calling returning my call..phones going off ...only at that time I was on the phone with the Human Resources investigator who wanted to tell me for some reason that apparently it was three "mee ows " that the superviser had complained about and not two mee ow sounds ...

    I really felt like telling him " oh for F..Sake ..get a life !!..but of course i couldnt and with the phones ringing with the tradesman made it worser. .i had to desperately answer the tradesmen ringing on the phones because trying to ring them back and leaving messages again would set me back...so i had to calm myself down when talking to the work investigator and put on a calm polite voice.whilst trying to get rid of him...." i understand how frustrating it must be for you trying to find out how many mee ows there were...let me know how it all ends...i appreciate your call ..then i immediately hung up to answer the handyman calling back.
    I then used the strategy method to stop..think..plan..and managed to get the handyman the next day.

    So getting back to my original point..i wonder why people are not strong nowadays as much as our parents or grandparents who lived thru World Wars etc.
    Being a anxious person..or becoming anxious..panicky..flustered..raising your voice..blaming others ..during times of stress and challenges probably means you have been brought up that way.

    I was one of those until im slowly training myself to become calm during challenges whether that be receiving bad news..or whatever..but slowly using the strategy of stopping..thinking ..planning etc.
    And thinking for myself.

    Even you can do this yourself in a supermarket instead of being flustered and running to the 16yo supermarket kid to ask him what aisle the coffee is in...start taking responsibility yourself and thinking and train yourself .
    I saw this recently when i was shopping late one night up at Kings Cross Woolworths..here i was walking down aisle 6 ...a middleaged guy wearing a suit was standing over a kid packing the shelves talking anxiously. ."now where is the apple sauce..are u saying its in aisle 7 or 5..?...
    "Oh come on...you must know where it is !!

    On that note i heard the kid say to him something like .."i told you already or similar..then as i got closer..the guy said to the kid.."do you know who i am..im a Lawyer..
    I then heard the boy apologising to him.
    This cretin with his armani suit was standing over this hard working kid threatening to get him the sack.

    Usually i dont get involved in things..but this made me stop and i looked at mr self importance in the face and i said to him all the aisles have the products listed on the above signs.
    He took a second then said to me" why dont you mind your own #@$^@#@! BUsines ?
    Then stormed off in a huff and puff.
    I gave the supermarket worker my details and said if Mr VIP puts in a complaint about him to call me.

    I thought it was over until i got to the checkouts..i then saw MR VIP standing at the service desk checkout talking to what i think was a duty manager..bearing in mind this was at about 11pm on a weeknight so not many people..he then saw me come to the checkout and starts telling me.." mate your in trouble ..im a Lawyer .im a Top brass Lawyer !!! (Saying this whilst all the supermarket staff looked at him in fear)

    So i just let him have it....
    "Your a Lawyer I said...?? You a Lawyer?
    How on earth did you pass the intelligence test when you cant even find a tin of baked beans !
    With that he got on his phone and start walking out of the supermarket
    "Mate he yelled..you ve done it this time..then yelled into the phone by the sound of it calling the cops.
    Anyway i decided to grab the nearest cab aand make a run for it .
    I guess thats a fight or flight response ?

    But it shows you that as a calm person who uses strategy you can win against these people .
    The hardest thing ..is to go through a challenge or crisis without worrying or ruminating about it ..(until its fixed)..even if yiu know the problem will be fixed eventually..you still worry ruminate and im training myself not to do that
    Sometimes i will constantly worry about a challenge that i already have a strategy for..

    Its hard to train yourself not to be anxious or catazphrise a situation..rather treat it as a challenge...but im trying to do that.
    I guess i get this from my childhood where my Dad would panic and catasphrize things.
    I remember once when i was a kid slipping over and cutting my head open..my dad went into a state of panic ..oh oh good god ...he would wail...arms wailing...shouting...screaming..whilst my mum would be exact opposite and calm and think what to do.
    Whilst my Dad would carasphrize every situation...once i remember when i was 12yo a Police car pulled up outside our driveway...i told Dad about it..who then looked out the window and started wailing ..arms and hands wailing as he shouted to the family..oh Good God .." they're probaly here to arrest us !!
    " take our kids away because i didnt pay tax " !!!
    And with that i remember my 2 older brothers scrambling over the back fence to get away.
    Mum would then come in and calm the situation down.



    My tenant on the other hand ..catasphrized the garage door not closing...made it out to be the big thing in her life..abusing the property manager who also went to water...
    I just remained calm used the stop think strategy method and arranged a handyman...not straight away but the next day..its not such a big big big thing you need to catasphrise in your life .

    Meeeee owwwwww
     
    Last edited by a moderator: 19th Dec, 2015
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  2. Bayview

    Bayview Well-Known Member

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    That's not anxiety; that's impatience and rudeness.

    It's the "new black" in our society...no-one wants to wait, because we are the most important person alive...o_O

    On the very odd occasion when I have to go into my local Bank branch, and even more odd if there is some sort of a cue and a wait..there will often be someone up ahead of me huffing and tisking about the wait....:rolleyes:

    It's more an urbanised/city-centric world mindset I'm afraid...

    You don't see this sort of rot to anywhere the same extent out in the Country or out on the Land etc...folks seem to have a much better outlook on life's little probs - from my experience, anyway.
     
  3. DanW

    DanW Well-Known Member

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    Am I anxious for looking to the bottom for a TL/DR?
     
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  4. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

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    Totally agree darlinghurstboy. I read the first two paragraphs now but I'll read the rest later tonight when I'm zonked.
     
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  5. BigKahuna

    BigKahuna Well-Known Member

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    "Dad .. started..arms and hands wailing as he shouted to the family..oh Good God .." they're probaly here to arrest us !!
    " take our kids away because i didnt pay tax " !!!..
    Mum would then come in and calm the situation down."

    Trust mum to fix everything.
     
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  6. Xenia

    Xenia Adelaide Property Manager Business Member

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    You are really into self improvement Darlinghurst boy. I love reading your posts.

    I see a lot of people in anxious mode too - it's a non present time fear.

    You have to wonder how some people will ever cope with a crisis should there ever be one, if they can't cope with shopping.
     
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  7. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

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    ^^^^ give me 20K for Xmas and I'll promise never to be anxious again :)
     
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  8. Beanie Girl

    Beanie Girl Well-Known Member

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    Add another 0 to that 20k for me! :D
     
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  9. Kate Moloney

    Kate Moloney Well-Known Member

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    People just need get present and be in the moment.
     
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  10. E.T

    E.T Active Member

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    Is Anxiety becoming a "norm" nowadays ?
    Has it become normal to feel anxious

    it's your mind that filters your reality so direct your questions and focus there

    Well it didnt work with me...i immediately turned around and said to him in front of other shoppers .."Are you ok ?
    "You seem to be suffering from a anxiety attack...its ok...now take deep breathes as i went closer to him...take deep breathes ..i know how hard it must be sitting in that all day...keep ya breathing up "...we are all waiting in line..wont be long"


    This your perception of an experience of a moment, sounds like you need to do the deep breathing as you have carried this experience from this past moment all the way into a Internet forum.

    Many of you say you can handle challenges and obstacles in life but until you've been there you"ll never know.

    That's right it's part of living, life will always have downs.... Without it there can be no ups. It's your reactions to the downs that cause you and others around you discomfort

    How many times have you had a work colleague who you thought and made out they could handle challenges and even a crisis only to find they have run off or even in the other scale become flustered...red in the face..anxious ..panicky..tc etc.peed their pants.

    This is your judgmental mind working overtime, we all fight silent battles

    They say if you are a person like that you have been brought up that way...which is probaly true.

    False, this world we live in is saturated in impermanence


    I used to be a person like that..getting anxious..flustered etc instead of thinking about the problem/challenge and working out a strategy to overcome it.


    It still appears you are identifying with your problems through anxiety and frustration hence the content of this post,

    So getting back to my original point..i wonder why people are not strong nowadays as much as our parents or grandparents who lived thru World Wars etc.
    Being a anxious person..or becoming anxious..panicky..flustered..raising your voice..blaming others ..during times of stress and challenges probably means you have been brought up that way
    .

    No- Because back then people were conditioned differently to their environment - conditioning is something you are probably yet to discover

    I was one of those until im slowly training myself to become calm during challenges whether that be receiving bad news..or whatever..but slowly using the strategy of stopping..thinking ..planning etc.
    And thinking for myself.

    awareness education and quiet non judgmental reflection may also assist- less thinking and more observation

    I saw this recently when i was shopping late one night up at Kings Cross Woolworths..here i was walking down aisle 6 ...a middleaged guy wearing a suit was standing over a kid packing the shelves talking anxiously. ."now where is the apple sauce..are u saying its in aisle 7 or 5..?...
    "Oh come on...you must know where it is !!


    On that note i heard the kid say to him something like .."i told you already or similar..then as i got closer..the guy said to the kid.."do you know who i am..im a Lawyer..
    I then heard the boy apologising to him.
    This cretin with his armani suit was standing over this hard working kid threatening to get him the sack.


    Once again your perceptions of a situation maybe clouded by judgment, wether right or wrong the young boy may of been suffering greatly due to any number of situations you or the lawyer may not of been aware of....also the lawyer may have had his own perception clouded by his own distorted filter, just because he wears an Armani suit does not make him a villain, even the rich suffer greatly, we all fight difficult silent battles

    But it shows you that as a calm person who uses strategy you can win against these people .

    It's not about winning anything, there is nothing to win, you already have everything you need to be happy, everyone does....


    The hardest thing ..is to go through a challenge or crisis without worrying or ruminating about it ..(until its fixed)..even if yiu know the problem will be fixed eventually..you still worry ruminate and im training myself not to do that
    Sometimes i will constantly worry about a challenge that i already have a strategy for..


    Time to learn to let go

    I was standing in an line at Australia Post

    Yes you were, we have all been there or we are on our way...how we choose to experience it though will be different for all of us, but if you decide to suffer in these situations then always remember that it's a choice

    Merry Christmas
     
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  11. Jingo

    Jingo Well-Known Member

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    I think people are more stressed. I observe this at work, and in society in general. Expectations are extremely high - we live in an age of instant gratification and this creates stress.

    A personal response to your post - I'm a fairly calm person - on the exterior anyway. This year I took on an extra responsibility at work that nearly pushed me over the edge. I thought I could handle the challenge, multi task, balance the responsibilities with my existing position - just managed, but felt on edge and I know I took this out on my family and close friends.

    I will be making changes next year at work - dropping this responsibility - not worth the stress!
     
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  12. beachgurl

    beachgurl Well-Known Member

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    I think that people do not allow themselves any down time anymore to refresh. Before iPhones, people catching the train to work would read books or trashy magazines. Now they play flashing electronic games, flick through the Internet at high speed or respond to emails before they step foot into the office. People are already buzzing before they set foot in the office so anything potentially stressful can set off the anxiety to an already stressed mind. On average people sleep less or let their devices break their sleep patterns. Technology allows us to cram more into our lives than ever before.

    I went on a cruise a few months back and I had trouble relaxing. Feeling anxious just seems the norm. Not having Internet access took all the stress away.
     
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  13. LifesGood

    LifesGood Home Building & Development Consultant Business Member

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    Anxiety and stress are two very different things. Worth reading up on.
     
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  14. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Most of the time its self inflicted stress/anxiety? What do you guys think?

    I know I had bitten more than I could chew over last 2 years, I was not sleeping etc. Last 6 months pulled back from trying to do too many projects in one year. Result, I am much more relaxed, happier in life, more time with family, and far more manageable, and I get more ME time.

    Perhaps we all need some tweaking from to time. I even went back to my art classes loving this. Change environment, do something different and do the things you love doing, I am going to even start fostering pups again.

    MTR:)
     
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  15. Kate Moloney

    Kate Moloney Well-Known Member

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    Oh thats so beautiful about the pups...

    Its essential to have non negotiable time with yourself every single day .... life gets pretty groovy then.
     
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  16. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    I'm not in the least bit anxious. I let people take their time God knows that they've got less quality time left here on earth than mere mortals like me.

    Now that I have gotten that off my chest, "hurry up, the light's turned green and I have places to be, places to be, people to do...." :)
     
  17. ellejay

    ellejay Well-Known Member

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    It's fairly common to feel anxious in certain scenarios. Being able to regulate ones emotions is an important skill. What story are you telling yourself when you're feeling anxious or are dysregulated, and how can you challenge the story in order to function better?
     
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