Grumpy old men

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by Lizzie, 25th May, 2016.

Join Australia's most dynamic and respected property investment community
Page 2 of 3
  1. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    14,017
    Location:
    Brisbane
    Lizzie, my hubby seems to be sometimes grumpy and picks on the youngest for forgetting things, putting empty milk carton back into fridge, using last of the toilet paper and leaving the empty roll for next person to change, forgetting to clean up kitchen after he makes snacks etc). I try a different way. Nothing works really and this youngest son will mature when he is good and ready.

    Right now, hubby is very busy renovating our back yard and pool area and he is happier because he has a purpose.

    Why not both of you go to the doctor and get full blood tests, and make sure the doctor checks his testosterone levels. Acknowledging you both have hormonal problems is a wise way to go so he doesn't think he is being picked on.

    I also resort to typing my thoughts. Hubby grew up with a father who had "little man syndrome" (I'm quite sure of that), was quite mean and abusive, laid down the law and hubby saw a lot of conflict so he absolutely hates conflict. We don't really yell and scream. He withdraws into his shell and sometimes takes a week to get back to normal. I let him be. But sometimes if I'm really having to get something off my chest, I type it up and he reads it, digests it and then we can discuss when things are back to normal.

    I do this for my kids too if we have a big argument, because otherwise, we all end up yelling over each other and nobody listens to anything. Hubby thinks my method is odd, but I don't care. It works for me.

    PS. Could you let him read your initial post or is that a step too far?
     
    wylie, 25th May, 2016
    #21
    Lizzie, MTR, EN710 and 2 others like this.
  2. Depreciator

    Depreciator Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    1,963
    Location:
    Sydney
    Maybe he needs to join an internet forum so he can get all his grumpiness out there. Places like this probably perform a valuable public service in that respect.
     
    Depreciator, 25th May, 2016
    #22
    RiMo, See Change, Lizzie and 1 other person like this.
  3. Lizzie

    Lizzie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    9th Jul, 2015
    Posts:
    9,627
    Location:
    Planet A
    We did discuss it with the next house move - we've sold the farm and are buying a smaller farm - because he wants to keep farming (albeit smaller) - and we could either buy a mortgage-free small place in town for weekends etc, or pay off two IP mortgages and have extra income, so I'm still tossing that one up.

    We could've moved into a quality local suburb instead of farming, surrounded by likeminded folks, and I fully supported it, if that's what he needed ... but he didn't want to.

    I am reluctant to move back into town permanently right now as junior is in high school with all the associated hormones, and had 5 school changes in 4 years during primary school, due to his work movements. She is happy, loves school, is doing really well and stretching herself and has a great bunch of friends/teachers ... also would mean hubby retiring, and I'm not sure he's really ready for that yet
     
    Lizzie, 25th May, 2016
    #23
  4. Lizzie

    Lizzie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    9th Jul, 2015
    Posts:
    9,627
    Location:
    Planet A
    Step waaaaaay to far ... he would be mortified if he knew I was even discussing this with "strangers"
     
    Lizzie, 25th May, 2016
    #24
    WattleIdo likes this.
  5. Propertunity

    Propertunity Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    19th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    3,476
    Location:
    NSW
    Personally I enjoy being a grumpy old man :p
    ....and I talk to people on the TV and I know they can't hear me.

    The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason; to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He’s made.” – Grandpa Simpson
     
    Propertunity, 25th May, 2016
    #25
    WattleIdo, MTR and Lizzie like this.
  6. See Change

    See Change Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    5,149
    Location:
    Sydney
    I did .... :cool:

    I was lucky to recognise the approaching problem and took action . Started the day after by 40th when I realised " life didn't begin at 40 " .

    Cliff
     
    See Change, 25th May, 2016
    #26
    Lizzie likes this.
  7. jim1964

    jim1964 1941

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    1,300
    Location:
    Westcoster Strahan Tasmania
    I totally agree,my wife is a decade younger than me,and a 15 year old daughter at home,they have some strange ways of thinking.This is why i believe the "Mens Shed" is so popular,get out of the house,away from the niggles,and come home fresh.I have started going to the local footy(aussie rules) on Saturdays to watch the A,s,love it.It creates a great balance.
     
    jim1964, 25th May, 2016
    #27
    WattleIdo and Lizzie like this.
  8. jim1964

    jim1964 1941

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    1,300
    Location:
    Westcoster Strahan Tasmania
    I read this today in the local paper,very true,and it's universal. image.jpg
     
    jim1964, 25th May, 2016
    #28
  9. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    14,017
    Location:
    Brisbane
    LOL Lizzie. He was ready to move downstairs to his own area two years ago. Middle son moved out, and the same day the oldest and his partner moved back in whilst they did a small reno. Two years later, their small reno somehow turned into a very large reno and it is six months from finished. So he has been across the hall from us with a bathroom in between for two years longer than planned already.

    He bounces out of his room at midnight like Kramer, slams on all the switches in the bathroom and hasn't a care that we might be trying to sleep ten feet away. He goes back to his room and often leaves the bathroom lights on. I either have to get up to tell him to turn them off, but I might as well just do it myself. I guess we could close our door, but I prefer to have the door open.

    In six months he will finally move downstairs, just before he turns 21, will have his own bathroom, his own living area, and we all will be happy. A bit of separation will be a good thing.

    If he uses the last of the toilet paper, HE can change it himself because he will be the one next using the bathroom.
     
    wylie, 25th May, 2016
    #29
  10. Propertunity

    Propertunity Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    19th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    3,476
    Location:
    NSW
    This is degenerating into a grumpy old women's thread. :p
     
    Propertunity, 25th May, 2016
    #30
    WattleIdo, MTR, wylie and 1 other person like this.
  11. LibGS

    LibGS Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    1,027
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    What ever you do, do not try to diagnose him. It will really annoy him. Tell him that you are unhappy and that you don't want to live like that in your future. But make it a shared problem, tell him that you both need to solve this together. The hardest part will be for him to acknowledge that there is a problem. Then you should go and seek help together.

    You are asking yourself the right question, where do you want to be in 30 years?
     
    LibGS, 25th May, 2016
    #31
    WattleIdo likes this.
  12. Bayview

    Bayview Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    22nd Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    4,144
    Location:
    Inside your device
    I've just come to the realisation that he is probably NOT getting enough alcohol...
     
    Bayview, 25th May, 2016
    #32
    Angel, Chillingout and bob shovel like this.
  13. Bayview

    Bayview Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    22nd Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    4,144
    Location:
    Inside your device
    LOL!
    Ya wanna see my wife the night after doing a 6.30pm to 1.30am shift, home in bed by 2.00-2.15am, having to get up at 7.30 to take-over from me, managing the two younger kids because I have to leave for work, and has the youngest for a whole day (who is a million miles an hour all day every day until drops dead-asleep) ...

    By about 6.00pm that night she is fit to be strung up.

    Add a week of that time of the month to the mix, and she is a candidate for a suspect on "48 hours"...
     
    Bayview, 25th May, 2016
    #33
  14. wategos

    wategos Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    19th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    623
    Location:
    NSW
    An episode of IMS can sometimes be triggered by INFS (Intense Nagging Female Syndrome). While perhaps not a cause in your case, it unfortunately can afflict women of all ages.
     
    wategos, 25th May, 2016
    #34
    Bayview and jim1964 like this.
  15. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    27,252
    Location:
    Sydney or NSW or Australia
    I hear that you can build up a tolerance to arsenic ;)


    Children drive you to drink, when they're older you've got to pick them up ;)

    I enjoy IMS - yesterday I told a contractor how I wanted information delivered to me in no uncertain terms - I have told them countless times.

    Today it was a grumble to the privacy officer for a major stationery supplies company - internet purchase for software update but they want a street address? WTF.
     
    Scott No Mates, 25th May, 2016
    #35
    Bayview likes this.
  16. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    14,017
    Location:
    Brisbane
    Something to make you laugh today Lizzie. Yesterday we visited hubby's sister. She is 61 but looks younger, is fit, happy disposition and I cannot really believe she is over 60 at all. I am about to turn 56 and thought I was looking pretty good, bit of mascara, dressed nicely.

    They had unexpected visitors. Husband and wife in their 70s. He was 76. He walks into the house says hello to hubby's sister, looks at me and says to her "is this your mother?" WTF???

    I think his eyesight may have been bad. Even if I look my age, and she looks her age, being her mother would make me at least 80. Couldn't wait to tell my family and they all fell about laughing.

    I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry :D:p.
     
    wylie, 25th May, 2016
    #36
    WattleIdo, RiMo, Chrispy and 5 others like this.
  17. Lizzie

    Lizzie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    9th Jul, 2015
    Posts:
    9,627
    Location:
    Planet A
    Yep - behaviour much better last night ... but in absolute total denial.

    I suspect he didn't even bother to read any of the info I sent him ... or even my suggestion that hormonal changes are normal and that everyone goes thru it at around this age ... will now calmly pull him up every time he denigrates into Grumpy Old Man mode.

    Or maybe he did read it but - being in denial - won't admit so until he's had time to process it himself. At least the situation is "out there" in the discussion zone
     
    Lizzie, 26th May, 2016
    #37
    wylie likes this.
  18. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    20th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    3,626
    Location:
    At work
    He sounds like me. I'm irritable 95% of the time. If I ever get around to it (I contemplate it most days), I might see a GP as I think I would maybe benefit from some pharmaceutical mood help (not depressed as far as I can tell). Maybe he could too.
     
    Bran, 26th May, 2016
    #38
  19. Lizzie

    Lizzie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    9th Jul, 2015
    Posts:
    9,627
    Location:
    Planet A
    Yep - just a case of convincing them to do it ... you know men! See this as a prompt for you to visit your GP - assuming you can't order your own blood tests ;)
     
    Lizzie, 26th May, 2016
    #39
  20. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    20th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    3,626
    Location:
    At work
    Yes, I've ordered my own tests (actually asked a colleague).
     
    Bran, 26th May, 2016
    #40
    Lizzie likes this.
Page 2 of 3