Good life coach? (Brisbane)

I missed this.

My hints were along the lines of , 'Hi X. I haven't seen the kids for a week, I was hoping to spend some alone time with them today'.

 

Slightly disagree
Responding negatively is one thing, recognizing it is an improvement. Deciding what you're going to do about it is productive

Talk to your wive - say you want to book time exclusively with the kids, prefer not to have her sister because you want a quality time, not because you don't like her.

With the sister, hmm, maybe not direct enough add " can we reschedule your visit to Wednesday" or action you want her to do. I find with my partner he has statement that doesn't have direction. Such as "The dog just pooped outside" i.e. no direction, what do you want me to do? so make it "The dog just pooped outside, I"m a bit busy, can you help clean it up"

 

Yes, I did all of those things. I spend a proportion of most days having difficult conversations that no-one wants to have.

But it's greater than one snippet of one encounter.

Sometimes, escalation within communication needs to occur in a literal heartbeat, and I would like to work on displaying the characteristics of a leader in those moments. This, like any achievement under pressure, doesn't come without rehearsal.

 

Well.. You probaly think your doing well doing all that eh?
Proud of yaself... But who washes the plates ? Who cooks dinner ? Who washes the clothes? Who vaccuums ? Who makes the bed?
Who goes shopping? Not you ...its your wife... Start helping her ..get back to basics son and stop trying to make out your better than everyone else !!

How about doung ya bit and making the bed and cleaning up and doing things with your wife instead of expecting her to do it...

 

There is truth in this. I do no domestic duties at all.

 

keeper

 

Hi Bran, I'm sorry about your current situation. Reading these posts, it does sound like you already know what you need to do and how to do it. Best of luck moving forward from here

 

@Bran
Normally, I'd give a smart-ass comment about investing in Brisbane and all your troubles will be solved...But your situation is fairly serious..
Some good points made by other posters.
Some things I'll add:
1. Not sure if it's a life coach you need. I think you need to see a shrink and/ or relationship counsellor. I could be wrong of course.
2. I presume you have already asked your wife what she wants and values eg you spending more time with the kids etc. What is blocking you from doing this- is it because you can't/not much time, don't want to, don't believe it's going to add value vs opportunity cost etc...get to the bottom of the blockers.
A shrink/relationship counsellor are trained in this stuff...they should be able to help.
3. the stuff you deem important like setting up websites, business etc may not be seen as important by your wife..which could lead to differing goals/needs/wants which will likely end the relationship if that gets too bad or sustained over a long time. Again a relationship counsellor can help.
4. Being hyper like this is risky to your own health as well. It's gotta be high stress, high risk stuff..and not only does that put you at increasEd risk in say 5, 10 plus years, but can also have a bearing on your family...
You need to get some help to get balance, and also on same Page with your family.

 

Have you considered going see a relationship counsellor; or if your other half isn't keen on that, a psychologist, and asking for a referral?

Being in the industry they would probably have an idea of who would be good to see.

Also, making the effort and suggesting a relationship counsellor to your other half might help on the home front. Showing a willingness to change/improve etc.

 

Thanks JDP.
(Go Brisbane!)

 

Yes, a relationship counsellor is coming too, as an addition.

Thanks for the input.

(For those with no experience with a life coach, I would suggest you at least look into the prospect. I hadn't heard of such an animal until it was thrust upon me in a course. I did the course after a colleague said it totally changed her life.)

 

@Bran I have heard about life coach, but from memory the good ones are only a few
If it's paid for by my company, sure do, I'm open to anything
If I need to pay for them.......

Life usually give you what you need in the least expected way, so if it comes in the form of life coach, hey, I'll take it I am a big believer that teachers, whatever the form they are, will come when the student is ready.

 

Just an observation.
Sounds like you have a lot of things going on for "you". As you said these take up a lot of "your" time.

I think it is a bit harsh that you then expect your wife to conform around "your" remaining time..
Maybe you should have worked out what times worked for her, date nights etc to spend time alone together, rather than you being upset that her sister is always there.

I can't blame her for having her sister around because it does not sound like you are with her enough or she is lonely..

Just an observation..

 

Yep. This is a fair observation.
Part of the difficulty is the irregularity of my work - I might unexpectedly be home early, or away the whole night without notice. This makes time commitments challenging, but not insurmountable.

 

I don't mind the critiques.

I wish to improve 'things', and an inner look is always painful, but necessary.

 

Some life coaching from Kenny (if I know how to do this)

 

Elissa Farrow offers 1:1 strategic business/life coaching and is very skilled

http://3rdview.com.au/elissa-farrow/

 

Whenever I am down or feeling like I am not doing well enough I remind myself to think about what the good people of Uganda would do in my situation...

Are there even life coaches in Uganda?

 

The way I see it, if I spent all this time on working/creating an income/businesses, what am I going to do with all of the proceeds on my own? I, whilst having plenty of my own goals, couldn't imagine getting there alone. Always got time for family.