Girlfriend moving into PPOR

Who are you people!

A mother-in-law from hell trying to claim her son's super and death benefits when he has a partner and kids.

Forum members advising the OP to 'run now' just because he has met someone he wants to spend his life with.

I have no problem with being realistic, but the level of grasping cynicism expressed by posters is truly shocking.

Of course some of it was joking, but some of the posters are showing signs of serious emotional issues themselves to make such prejudiced judgements.

I feel really sorry for your partners - to them, I say 'run now'!

 

4 years!! Put a ring on it already or move on

 

Nothing wrong with living together without marriage.

There is no actual need to get married these days - now that women aren't property!

 

Mother in law from hell. Love it. I actually have a very good relationship with my 4 DIL.s, if I called everyone of them now and said I needed them they would be here as I would with them. I go out of my way to help them and I have numerous messages thanking me for all I do for them.
What I did say was that my sons had left super/life to me , not for me, to make sure their children ended up with something in the event of them not being here to do it themselves, and I am the one they can trust to have it still there when the kids are older. I have seen enough in my time to have blinkers permanently removed, and sadly with this girls family there would not be anything left.
Yes, joking somewhat with OP, but he is asking the question of what if? We all hope as like the rest of us, he falls in love, moves in together, marries if they choose and has a long and happy future. But sometimes it doesn.t work out , probably why they invented pre-nups.
Will pass on sympathy to my husband. He hasn't run in over 30 years so don't expect it now.

 

You don't think that if the family court orders that money be paid to one of your DILs that maybe that they deserve it?

 

I think the real problem in the situation you describe, is that your son Is placing you above his wife in terms of importance and trust.

This is a really toxic situation, I believe.

You say you are close to your daughter in law. But this can only be because she doesn't realise that you and her husband are plotting behind her back - and that her own husband doesn't trust her.

Neither you or your son appear to respect his wife at all. That's hardly going to encourage an enduring relationship.

 

Yep..said that she would get a payout and yes she would deserve it..but we are talking about assets before them getting together. Of which you explained why the cost of prenups is so high...as a lot involved.

 

Hardly plotting, son had his super left to me from when he started work at 15, a letter came one day re beneficiaries, I said you will probably need to change that, he said, I will leave it, as then I know the kids will end up with something if I die.
Thankfully they seem to be maturing and making it work but this poor little wife you portray has shown in the past that she is capable of quite nasty stuff. Yes we get on well now, but I do worry for my grandchildren should it not work out.

 

@SueA they're already in a realationship, they have already started a family - don't think you're going to find a ethical way around it.
If he builds up a property portfolio now, she's still going to be entitled to it.
I would suggest spending your time trying to improve both of their financial well being which in turn will assist the children.

Otherwise if primary focus is the children, maybe suggest setting up some funds in trust for the children, not exactly sure on how this works, but know it can be done.

 

Yep, there's not much SueA can do about the situation other than containment.
The DIL holds the aces in that game.