Feeling like I'm stuck!

Building up 95 days of leave comes at a cost - might also be an indicator of not getting the work/life balance right. Might be the job/company to blame or some workaholic tendencies - or both.

Having kids is when these thing become starker or change.

For us in early forties with two young kids there was a step back from corporate life and work travel to a deliberately less stressful role with less career path opportunities (but not a great salary change). The current job market should make it easy if you wanted to do something similar.

Whatever you give up comes back one way or the other.

We found it help with family and investments - the career also went fine, just a little different (15 years down from track from then).

So, I’d have a good look at the job and why you don’t take leave - don’t be too concerned about moving roles if that is what is needed. Maybe even mention that at work and see how they respond - likely they will fix things to try to retain you.

 

$15k is peanuts in the grand scheme of things. If you keep the cruisy job and if you're able to focus on the bidness on the side instead, you'll probably make more than the $15k you're rejecting. Call me a lazy millennial but for me it's not the salary on offer that's most important, it's the amount of effort required from me to earn the salary that's more important.

 

+1

I was in the exact same position and took exactly the same decision you made.
Running after money while destroying your life isn't worth it.

 

Seems the acting position's tipped you over the edge. I assume while you were in your normal role, things were a lot better...and while you're not financially set (yet), a cruisy role would suit you to a tee, what with young children and all and a burgeoning portfolio.

I would be honest with your bosses and tell them you would like to go back to your old job ASAP bc you love it etc. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not aspiring to climb the ladder. Most employers would understand. They'd rather keep you than lose you just because you didn't have those ambitions.

 

Thanks very much for your responses everyone, I appreciate all of them. I think often it's useful to get an outside perspective as you get caught up in it the same thought loops (or at least I do).

I've honestly never seen myself as an overachiever! But I guess in some aspects I am.
I think I'll just have to work out what and how to cut.

Yes, I think that's right. I've also stopped exercising due to time constraints which is not helping my physical or mental health.

I've got a week off on Magnetic Island coming up in four weeks, I think I'll send out a message for business customers as well, put in an email auto-reply and forward phone calls to voicemail.
I don't think a week will be enough, but it will be good to have some headspace to think.

"Human dynamo". It's funny how our own perceptions of ourselves can differ wildly from others', isn't it? I'd consider myself rather lazy actually, but I guess compared to most people that I know (outside of this forum), I have done a fair bit.

Oh, you can be as intrusive as you want, I don't mind at all!
I'm definitely at a point where I know I can't continue this way indefinitely.

Spiritual needs is an interesting aspect. I'm a staunch atheist and I'm not looking to change that. The reason for that is that science is one of my first loves and it's so important to me that I would not invite anything that contradicts it into my life.
Having said that though, I fairly recently read "10% happier" and have been looking into secular buddhism a little bit. Mindfulness (which can be "spirituality", depending on your definition) is definitely something that interests me and something that I'd like to explore more, but it's something that has fallen by the wayside.
I'm really interested in the Sam Harris kind of spirituality if you can call it that. As long as it doesn't require me to believe in anything supernatural, I'm open to anything.

It might be ridiculous to many on here, but last month I had to put down my two cats (different health reasons) that I had had for 15 years, and that really took its toll on me more than I thought it would. Not only because they have been in my life for so long, but also because I had to talk to my 4 year old about it, who loved one of the cats.
Man, it was tempting to just use the "oh they've just gone to heaven and you'll see them again" line there!

You're right, when I wrote this, I was like "****, $3M???" (less than that if you factor in CGT and selling costs, but still pretty good).
I don't actually particularly care about my networth though. I care about the cashflow and the good thing is that my goalposts don't seem to be shifting (yet). What my goal is and always has been is a cashflow that will allow us to live a reasonably comfortable life.

Thanks, yes, as I mentioned, I'll have to have a think and a bit of a talk to my life in my upcoming week off.

I think you're right. While I'm not looking at selling down, but I had hoped that the business would be my shortcut to getting me out of my job and freeing up a lot of my time. That hasn't happened and looks increasingly unlikely to happen, unless I fully commit and pull the pin on work, which I'm not quite ready to do.
I've been in the real estate game for 12 years now, so I guess I've got to wait another 3 to 8 years!

I actually reckon the sleep component is a massive one for me. If I did not have to get up every single night, I think I'd cope a fair bit better. It still wouldn't be sustainable in the long run, so perhaps in a way it's good this issue was highlighted by my lack of sleep.

To be completely honest, I think I'm too much of a wuss to do that. If taken some fairly sizable risks with my investing journey (the risk has definitely decreased as values have increased) so I've always had my reasonably secure job as a safety blanket. I've been in the same company for 13 years (in a number of jobs though).
I'm worried that if I give up my job now and the business fails, this whole house of cards could fall, particularly while my wife is on maternity leave.

Absolutely! Development is off the cards until one of these things occur:

• The business is going nowhere and I close shop
• The business becomes successful enough that I can employ someone to help and I take some time off work
• I quit my job

Plus I'd only consider it when we get to sleep through at least a couple of nights a week.

I feel (rightly or wrongly) that I can't step down form my current position to my old one right now. Officially, it's for another 4 months, so given there's an end in sight (and I can say no to an extension or a permanent change to this role), I think I can make it through that period.

I agree that the $15k is not worth it.

I'm not worried about IP costs, the only thing that's hurting my cashflow is principal repayments, other than that, my portfolio pays for itself (and then some).

My ideal world is me working 20-30 hours a week in a job that I enjoy and see as worthwhile. The rest of my time I'd like to spend on hobbies (gardening is a big one for me), with my family and sleeping! I'd love to do more bushwalking, spend some more time outdoors and take up some sort of sporting activity again. I'd also love to travel again, but it doesn't have all that fancy.
If I look at things that would be nice but that I could do without, they'd be buying an EV (electric vehicle) and getting a cleaner once a week. But if I don't have the cashflow for either of those, that's not a problem at all.

It's a bit hard to take leave while in this acting role (other than the week coming up) without leaving people hanging too much, which I don't really want to do either. I think I started this thread just early enough where it's not too bad yet, but if I ignored it, yes I would definitely come to a point where things would get much worse.

Thanks, yes, I just have to work out how to about making changes.

All good points, thanks.
I think the comparing yourself to others in a forum of people so far from the median might have something to do with it! I'll try to slow down and practice acceptance a bit more!

My wife thinks I've got too much on my plate too and our relationship is suffering a bit. Much of that is the lack of sleep, but all of my commitments certainly don't help either.
I'll definitely hold my job until I can see a viable alternative.

Thanks, yes I have more and more ideas of what to do for the business and what new products to bring in, but I think I'll stop developing new products and just keep selling the existing products I have and I'll stop designing other people's systems on the side, which is taking a fair bit of time.
If I scale it back to the BAU only, then it shouldn't be that much work and I don't have to kill it (which might still be an option down the road).

Much of the leave is long service leave, as I get 11 days of that per year. The annual year has accumulated mainly due to covid.
I should note that I also get a fortnightly rostered day off, which used to be a great time to relax a little, but recently has only been used for fighting fires really, such as emergency maintenance. So it hasn't helped with the work/life balance in recent times.

I think you might be right, I might mention it at work and see if there's a way to take a month off either very soon or in 4 months' time when my current acting role is up.

 

Most over achievers wouldn't. Hence why they push and push and push. Achieve and achieve. Yet to them its fairly normal. So they keep pushing and achieving. Before they know it they've massively 'over achieved'. And the cycle continues.

 

@spludgey assuming it’s your youngest one keeping you up overnight definitely consider sleep school.
I’ve got twin 1 year olds and we went when they were 9months old, best thing we ever did. It’s totally government funded and we didn’t have to pay a thing. I was sceptical before I went but the difference is actually ridiculous.

 

Would you happen to have any information on that please, or do you mean Trisilian?

 

OK here we go...some are going to lambast me....

I too was in your position probably about 12 years ago also...but minus the kids. I worked for a large IT consultancy and was working 16 hours a day in Management a position.

Well I got recommended for a job which paid 50% more...so I took it expecting to work my tail off. Guess what it was 75% less taxing to the point of boredom. So I took it for granted and spend my extra time building my portfolio...during that time my portfolio went from 10 properties to 34 in 9 years...before I got retrenched from this job....

So the morale of the story is:

1. Arrange a job which prioritizes you first. Read the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Farris! Forget about about what other think.... you will have the last laugh...in a couple of years as they run on the hamster wheel.

2. Outsource as much of your job to others....easier if you are in management.

3. Concentrate on building your wealth.

4. Less is more...start structure your portfolio where you are keeping less properties but they return the biggest bang for buck. Now is an excellent time to get rid of the laggards.

Think in 1 year...3 year...5 years. and end result achieved in 10 years. You should be able to double your portfolio at least once...just don't be in market in OZ. I was doubling my portfolio sometimes in 3 years with my active portfolio. You will need to be prepared to sell....holding for ever is for emotional people and it may cost you down the lines.

Best of luck.

PS - prioritize your/family happiness over employers...remember you are always disposable. If you engineer things correctly...you can even exit with large payout. I managed to do this after 9 years.....

 

I’m not familiar with Trisilian.
We went to QEC in noble park vic.

You’d probably have to just google or speak to maternal child health or similar and I’m sure there’s the same thing wherever you live.

You may need a referral to get into one but it’s super easy from a GP or maternal child health depending on what they require.

 

Look at the size of the reply!

I needed a packed lunch to read it lol

A dynamo effort.

 

We did a similar one - Karitane (Home Page). We had also used a private sleep consultant earlier. This is something I could talk at length about, so @spludgey , happy to discuss further if it is something you would like more info on

Cheers,
Inertia.

 

Thanks @sash , I'm on it..

 

LOL.... ..on what?

 

Does this sound like you

15 Characteristics of High Achievers You Need to Know

 

That's like reading the horoscope...

 

Mmm, but I just googled it. I wonder what a high achiever is?

 

Hi - I'm a long time lurker on this forum (very informative and I've learn a lot). I've finally mustered up the courage to post here.

I'm just over 30 and similar to spludgey I'm equally feeling a bit stuck. I've been fortunate enough to start off on grad job which paid very well (well above average) and have been working pretty hard up until this point. I've managed to secure a couple of IPs and have recently just bought my PPOR in Sydney with my fiancé.

I appreciate that I've achieved quite a lot however I struggle daily to feel content. I'd love to hear from other more experienced members in this forum as to what their definition of success is in life? Just keen to get some outside views so I can gain a broader perspective, as I find myself thinking about chasing salary / wealth / bigger house more often than not - and its probably impacting my wellbeing.

 

Oh ...must be true then, sorry.

I'd say it's very situational.

 

Its not too hard to work out

I think number 10 could be a stumbling block for many… especially if
they frequent forums and could contribute to reason of this thread.???Just saying
……and I could be wrong??