I passed my eye test for my driving licence today, OK, what's so remarkable about that? 12 months ago I went to well known opticians (2 pairs of glasses for 1) for a test and a check of my glasses. Was flabbergasted to be told I would have to have cataracts removed before my test this year otherwise I would not pass the test. Instant panic attack, no health insurance for cataracts and the waiting list for public is 12 months - I could be without a licence for a while So I went to my eye specialist and asked for a test - he found no problem and laughed when I told him about the verdict of 2 for 1. This morning I went for my test for driving licence at the local opticians (no special deals) and he told me I could just about drive without glasses - just ... How can a health professional get is so wrong?
I saw an optometrist a few months ago because my eyesight seemed to be deteriorating fast. Optometrist noticed minor cataracts but was sure they were not the cause. Strongly suggested it was severe dry eyes. Went to an eye specialists who immediate diagnosed the issue, cataracts. See you for surgery next week for left eye then right eye the week after. Problem solved. Vision restored. I didn’t realise till after surgery that everything white looked browny yellow before the op. Now it looks like the world around me has been given a wash with domestos. Whites are super white and all colours vivid. Because I was very short sighted my previous glasses made everything look so small. After surgery I said to my wife everything looks so big now. My wife immediately responded with a very unimpressed look and said “if you value your life you might want to rethink what you just said”:
Patient wakes up after surgery to remove his leg. Doc: Joe, I've got some good news and some bad news. Joe: Gawd, give me the bad news. Hope you didn't have to amputate the middle one as well. Doc: No, nothing that bad. Look Joe, I amputated the wrong leg for crying out loud. I had a big night and didn't get much sleep. I was seeing double. Joe: (Looking down at the end of his bed) Aaarghhh, what could possibly be the good news? Doc: Well, the other leg is getting better. I'm sure it can now be saved.
Under no circumstances is anybody to make any jokes about getting on the wrong side of a woman of substance.
