Excuses that kill your wealth

True
But not always
In low socioeconomic areas both parents are always home. They don't work.
Still those kids are extremely detached with lots of issues.

Love to a child or partner is being a big enough, connected enough and happy enough person to be emotionally available.
Being able to listen without judgement.
Accept a child fully - or a parter, love their imperfections
Encourage without expecting
Love without conditions.

Yes spending time is important but happy parents are much more effective at parenting.

 

I've seen a variation - this one always put a smile on my face too.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, and that's kinda the same thing.


My own variation
Money can buy happiness, but only if you let it.

 

Many use the excuse that they're - Not smart enough.

It all comes back to the attitude thing.
It doesn't take an expensive formal education to get smart.

 

Yet. . . .

 

Or. Money can't buy happiness. But it can buy jetskis. Everyone smiles on a jetski.

 

I just think money gives you the opportunity to be more of what you already are - if you're a nasty scrooge when you've got little, you'll be a bigger one with money. But if you're generous and loving with a little, you'll have the capacity to be much more generous with a lot.

It's just a magnifier.

One thing I can tell you though, life is more fun without financial concerns. It's nice to be able to drop everything and take the kids somewhere fun without worrying about chipping into food money. That does make me happy.

 

Being able to provide your kids all the fun stuff, going out, movies, birthday parties, holidays, plus all the millions of activities they want to get into, ballet, hip hop, singing, martial arts, volleyball....... that's happiness and freedom.

 

For me, I have trouble balancing this. I love being able not worry about how I am going to pay for this or that.

But at the same time, it was witnessing my parents being tight with money as a kid and understanding that money didn't grow on trees that help shaped me who i am today.

I struggle with how to shape my own kids this way while still wanting to be able to pay for things at whim without worrying.

 

I try to balance that by making my kids earn things. I don't buy them much over and above their needs. For eg, I'll buy them 'x' brand of running shoe, but if they want 'y' they need to pay the difference themselves.

Also, I'm happy to pay for experiences and family time (relationship building), but not materialistic stuff.

 

We have the same problem Nek

Kids get money for doing extra chores (above an expectation that they have to do for free).
Oldest has a job - working with us but still a job.

We ask them to pay for anything extra they want above what we consider to be normal.
Ie I would pay for a certain amount of clothes, shoes, they pay for things they must have on top of normal requirements.

I think it's important to have lots of clothes, I have a rule that they can't wear the same thing twice, kids (especially my teen son) have no idea that they stink. I don't have time to go through individual items of clothing so the rule is shower and fresh clothes every morning. It results in over 16 loads of laundry per week but it's easier to handle laundry than it is to handle broken social structures later caused by poor hygiene.

I pay for all lessons and encourage as much learning as possible, ballet etc... I also pay for all clothing that is required for that, trips interstate if they get into comps (have before), I consider it important for them to be good at various things so I pay for it.

I pay for all birthday parties and encourage them to invite lots of people, making sure kids are not excluded, this teaches them to consider others and not play favourites.... abundance. I'm happy to spend the extra money and make sure they keep their friendship circles going...

If they are having a home party and want fancy table decorations Etc, they pay for them - I hate clutter.

All school fees etc are mine, uni fees will be too.

They have basic phones, if they want the latest iPhone 7 etc.... they buy it themselves, same with other gadgets. Not important.

We have a lot of routine things - addicted to yum Cha and sushi twice a week after ballet classes, we pay for that because I just love the family time. Movies almost every Friday and sat nights again our expense because it's family time.

Consider what you think is important for your kids to do/have and pay for that. Kids just want and want, so you can't give into everything. Anything over the basics and things you think are important, kids can pay for it. We provide a means for them to pay for things by giving them chores or they can get an external job if they are old enough.

 

Agree. I hate this one the most. As if they are mutually exclusive.

Ok sure if you want to say money doesn't make you happy, fine. But not having money does not bring happiness. Can't have it both ways.

 

I wrote the same thing - great minds

 

Haha - yes, you wrote the long version, but exactly the same in principle.

 

It is one type of happiness and freedom (and it might be the most important one for you) - but it is nowhere near the only one.

You don't need to have a lot of money to be happy and free and kids need even less.

Time with the extended family or their friends (think backyard cricket, day at the beach etc) are what our kids enjoy the most.

Personally I don't enjoy being extravagant with money and it is a trait I hope to pass on. Get your happiness from within and your relationships - not from things.

P.S. Our kids have gone to private school since kindergarten - so there are things we will spend money on.

 

Yes, there are many profiles, stories etc about people who didn't do well in the formal education system, to go onto do amazing things (and there are a number of definitions of amazing things, depending on what drives you).

One common thing - drive - they were either driven towards something, or away from something.

 

I think that is my problem. The internet.

 

There goes my philosophy... I thought I might learn great stuff, and become the ace-est investor .... all by osmosis....by spending every waking minute on PC....

Ok, time to log off and read through this thread and @MTR's post about what successful people do....

 

Can't buy driving skills either ! Say that every time I see an exy car and a crappy driver.

 

Having money is important when you need to support a family and thats the reality. Lots relationship break downs are caused by the financial troubles. Some people can't quite the job they hate because they need the money to make ends meet. Maybe theres not much difference when between someone has who has 10 mil vs 100 mil. But for large portion of the population that live pay check by pay check or don't have a job at all, having more money will certainly help make life lot easier.

 

One thing that i heard that is quite true though.

If you are miserable and ungrateful when are not rich you will likely to remain so when you are, hence the term "money can't buy you happiness"

But those type rarely become rich by themselves, because of their negative mindset.
All self made people that I know are optimistic, up beat and rarely blame their circumstances on the others.