Did your kids ruin you chances of financial success ?

Well I just haven't got a meme for that.

 

Good on you! I admire your energy

 

We definitely took 2 steps back to take 1 step forward (financially) when we had kids. Losing an income (we didn't want to do the childcare thing) had a significant impact. Financially, kids are a poor choice.

However, we have picked up the pieces (so to speak) and are starting to kick goals again. Cost us a few years, but... then one gets into the discussion about the joys or otherwise of parenthood. Different conversation.

 

Cosigned. I'm struggling now let alone in 10 years. I suppose you just find another gear.

 

In one of my jobs I am frequently talking to new mums.. They are desperate to get back to work and if they had their time over again I think many would have made different decisions. Motherhood is certainly glamorised and those who do not seek it are apparently satanic. Women lose a large part of themselves when they have kids..

I think the emotional cost of children is high. Women who do not want to be homemakers are often seen as lesser parents... I think this emotional cost would have a debilitating affect on income making potential as promotions (longer hours and more stress) become less viable/desirable.

So to answer the original question.. I do think kids have an impact but I wouldn't say they ruin it.. They can also act as a great motivator I am sure. I know someone who had a very rough upbringing and is a low income earner who has managed to acquire three IP's.. So each of her three kids will always own a home (should the worst happen).

 

I think it depends on whether you consider your kids as an investment also.....

I do (a life investment anyway).

Wife and kids are the most valuable assets I have. Money just allows us to enjoy our lives a different way.

 

I too think we live in an amazing time and kids born now are very lucky, not only with technology and abundance but they are born more advanced at an earlier age than previous generations.

I love the world as it is, there is good and bad and lots of experiences and growth.

 

Interesting topic.
I've always wanted kids... which is why I pushed hard for working and investing.
If I had made a decision I didn't want kids, then I probably wouldn't have the assets have today, simply because I would silly and think I could rely solely on my super and age pension.

Now if i had kids earlier (ie accident, not planned), then yes, it would probably hamper some of those investment goals, but at the same time, it would probably push me into overdrive and earn more. At present, I am in cruising mode, trying to balance between work, investing and spending time with my daughter.

 

I'm not sure how babies are now born more advanced than they have been for thousands of years? Unless you mean IVF is now used and we have more C-sections and medical advances in birth techniques? This allows children to be born who wouldn't/shouldn't have naturally survived so I would have thought quite the opposite. Darwinism isn't at play anymore and we actually have now have more kids on earth who aren't the strongest of our species (intellectually or physically).

It's all debatable I guess, but humans are a very destructive species and it seems we are destroying our earth much faster than any other previous generation ever did.

 

I agree. I think kids are the ultimate investment. If I had to choose between being ultra wealthy with no kids; and what we have today with our two kids... I would choose the latter in a heartbeat.

 

For those who wonder whether kids are "worth it", the simple fact of asking the question in those terms means you know the answer. Having kids is not about it being "worth it", it is not evaluated in those terms. We are not talking about whether doing a renovation is worth it for the capital growth prospects here. Having children is something one either wants or does not and cannot be analysed purely in rational terms. Either way is fine: better not to have children if you do not feel it in your gut you truly want them. There is a whole additional dimension with having children (and arguably one of the most important thing in life) with transmitting knowledge, value, sharing love and experiences and seeing them grow - for many they represent the future and also what is left after we leave this world, a legacy of sorts. This question really borders on the meaning of life IMO, and I would argue for many parents raising their children is their most significant life accomplishment. Of course this cannot be measured in financial terms. The satisfaction drawn from this also cannot compare to instant gratification pleasures like going to concerts, shows etc. It is a much deeper and long term holistic satisfaction we are talking about here.
I think it is also gets more difficult not having children as you grow older: as one gets closer to the end of their journey here on Earth, having children and perhaps grand children is something that keeps you looking to the future, instead of perhaps not having much to look forward to.
The other thing with having children is giving a new sense of purpose for your hard work and investment journey: knowing it can benefit not only your family now, but also in the future for the next generation is a good feeling.

All this comes down to personal circumstances, beliefs, values. There is no one set of rules. This really is a topic with no definite answer, but I hope everyone can live happy with their life choices, no matter what they may be.

 

Oh I don't know about that - my own mother told me and my siblings she wouldn't have had us if she had her time over again. She's lucky we're not the emotional types or we might have been traumatised

 

But you're in a very comfortable position right now.

What if your option was to keep your 2 kids, but loose all your savings/assets/income levels, go to a working class job on low income, having to work reasonably long hours 6 days a week for the foreseeable future with no change in financial position likely until your kids finish school and leave home.
Basically, sacrifice everything to raise your kids until they complete schooling, and then have to start over from there.
This is only a hypothetical, but would that change your feelings about kids?

 

I would hate to bring the kids up in such an environment, but I given a choice you proposed, it would still be kids in a heartbeat. There nothing in the world that is more valuable than hearing the laughter of my daughter.

Hopefully in that scenario, I would have my experience from building up wealth and be able to pass that onto them (as well as whatever events and actions occurred that lead to loss of wealth).

@Ace in the Hole - What about you, would having no wealth change it?

 

I'd give up everything for my current child.
But, if I had no kids right now and could have 10 mil at 40, or kids and next to no assets by the time they were raised, I don't think having kids would make me happy enough to give up the cash and freedom.

 

Any plans on another one?

Interesting angle.

Say there is a way to rewind your life back to age 30 (whatever you had at that age is still the same). You have no idea what your life would be with or without children. But you were given a choice - defer having kids for a chance to hit 10m by age 40, and possibly have kids then (but knowing that research indicates that their is a higher chance of birth defects the older your wife is). Would you try to hit the 10m by age 40 and decide then whether you want or don't want kids, or take the same path you've taken (remember this is a rewind and you have no idea what the future holds).

 

Wow total honesty. Cool

 

Having Kids:

Pro's:
-They are cute when they are young... and sleeping.
-They make your body produce oxytocin so you think you love them even though you just met them and don't really know them yet.
-They can give you a sense of achievement "look at me, my sperm just turned into something!"
-They can give you a sense of immortality "My genes live on!"
-You don't have to go to the trouble of making friends and being social to have someone around to do stuff with because you can do stuff with your family.
-You can impart your "wisdom" onto a new generation. Because you're so smart and everything you have to say is so important and must be preserved (you little snow flake you).

Cons:
-Kids are hard work, even when they are fully functional and healthy. Throw in an extra chromosome or a physical health or mental health condition and you could be set to take care of these kids for the rest of your life and they will demand constant care. Severe disorders that aren't that uncommon can result in a sometimes extremely violent child who feels no love for you at all or is perhaps completely non-verbal, etc...
-Best case scenario is they grow up in a healthy way, they will: (1) Cry and vomit and crap everywhere and take away all your sleep (2) Learn how to be a human by pushing every single boundary, which you have to constantly correct (3) They hate you for all the boundaries you put in place (4) They leave home. (5) They turn into a drop kick drug addict which you will see a lot of. Or they turn into a healthy adult who you will see twice a year because they are getting on with their own life... until they have kids and they need a baby sitter then you'll see them every week when they drop off their bundle of angst vomit and crap for you to take care of.
-You will spend lots of money on the kids, and you won't be able to make as much money because of the kids.
-You will stress test your relationship with your partner, lots of these relationships snap under the strain.
-You aren't a king. Society can function without your offspring.
-If all you can find fulfilling in life is to create more life, then you are continuing a never ending cycle with no net gain. Because your need for fulfilment being met by creating another life also creates another need for fulfilment, as that child will need to fill that empty space in their life with more kids. Having kids is the ultimate "kicking the can down the road".
-All sense of permanence in "leaving your mark" is meaningless. The sun will burn out and everyone will die one day. Our galaxy is on a collision course with another galaxy. Everything everywhere will one day be obliterated. You can't live forever, not even through offspring.
-Kids will f up your sex life
-YOU HAVE TO WATCH DORA THE EXPLORER!!!

 

Yep. Choose the family any day. Without hesitation. But I'll back us to bounce back from any situation, even if we started off with nothing.