Education & Work Career and Family Balance

I thought it may be useful to hear the thoughts of the opinions of others in regards to careers and working.

I am 36 years of age, I have a newborn and a toddler, I've hit a road block in terms of my career, I have been in the same position for seven years now and I am looking into other career options. My dilemma is that I have good flexibility in my current role, which is great for family/life balance and being able to be at home with the family more, but I am totally disengaged in my career and position, but I know that any new position or career I embark on will involve more hours, more stress, more commitment, which will intrude on my family time, which is an issue due to having a toddler and newborn.

So I can just keep doing what I am doing and have good flexibility with family and be dissastisfied in my current role or I can take on a new challenge and embark on a new career and lose my flexibility with my family etc.

Also I am on track to reach Financial Independence in 12-15 years, where both my wife and I will be in a position to retire early if we choose. So I either just keep doing what I'm doing and suck it up until we reach FI or make a change.

Would love to hear the thoughts of others who have experienced similar predicaments or from those who are now retired and hear their thoughts on career satisfaction versus family time.

 

Kids are only little for a short time - go for the more flexibility option. Build the Empire as you go.

 

If you wife is working - and hence you need flexibility to avoid childcare costs - then I'd either stay where you are or, when looking around, specify right from the start of any interview that you are seeking similar flexibility.

A hard call as, when you spend 8+ hours a day at work, you do want some satisfaction. Is there no training or anything you can do to move in the same company?

 

Would you really be happier in another career?

 

Hi,

I’m a few years older and have just the one (toddler), but DH and I have gone the flexible route even though we could make more money in other jobs. I have recently moved to full time (hopefully temporary) but can still work some of the time with my son at home. This is priceless to me.

You are already on the right track, stay there.

Kassy

 

I am a single parent and chose to leave my profession and now run my own business working from home in an unrelated field.
I didn't go well with the work/family balance when the kids were tiny and i wasn't prepared to go down the full time nanny path.
In the past few years I've earned a lot less than I would've in my profession but I can see a massive difference in the kids and my relationship with them. I have a small property portfolio that is positive geared which is just sitting for now. When the kids are older and do their own thing I can get back into investing if growth hasn't already put me in a good spot.

In 15 years time what will be your larger regret? That you haven't retired, or that you didn't spend enough quality time with the Kids?

 

Kids first.

Cheers

Jamie

 

Go the flexible route.
I unfortunately see a lot of death in my job, and recently quite a few kids.
I've recently stopped taking nearly as much overtime as I was so that I can spend more time with the wife and daughter.
You never know how much time you have with them - make the most of it.

 

Flexible is my vote, but I'd also try to see if there is something you can do to make your current role more (personally) rewarding.

• Is there any extra training your can do?
• Can you develop a mentor relationship with someone in the workplace (ie you become their mentor - it can be hugely rewarding to contribute to someone else's growth)?
• Can you do something to help your workplace be more reflective of your values (eg instigate fundraising or volunteering for a charity; take steps to make your workplace more environmentally sustainable)?

Yes, your relationship with the kids come first, but you are also an important role model for them. If you want them to eventually get personal satisfaction out of their job, one of the best ways to set them on this path is to achieve it yourself.

 

Family first! What is the point of FI if you had to sacrifice everything to get it?

I found there was a point in my career where moving up to the next level wasn't worth the additional stress, not for the additional money anyhow. But I only looked at it that way because I'd identified other avenues to build wealth and generate income.

Rather than be dependent on your employer to fund your financial freedom what other avenues can you start to develop? Income is important while you're still building wealth.

 

Your situation sounds very uncannily similar to mine, heh. My wife is in a management role whereas my role is more administrative so I play support when it comes to the family household (2 + 2). My wife works in the city and commutes by train (50 min) . I commute by car (25 min). I prep the kids in the morning and drop them off to childcare/primary school and do pick ups with the assistance of the in-laws. I leave home after her and arrive home before her. We're a bit of a yin and yang.

I've often pondered different options i.e going in to a different career/industry/etc but at the moment it works best for our situation. We're at a point where we are financially stable so have also considered buying/starting a business or just taking a 1-2 month break altogether.

In saying that, I have been reading articles comparing this type of situation to whoring ourselves out. i.e selling our time to do something we're not fully engaged in or along those lines. Make of it what you will, lol.

 

Re career satisfaction - can you do something different/ something new at work? Or maybe pick up new things to do outside work for 15-30mins?

I find the disengagement at work is easier to handle when I'm learning new things, in or outside of work.

 

Early 40's here and retired for almost one year.
However, I did do some long days/nights of work for a previous business for 2 weeks straight including weekends during the school holidays just finished.
I hardly got to see my daughter much at all the whole school holidays and she visited me a few times at work with the wife.
One time she was crying and upset that Daddy had to work so much.
Couldn't take her to sports training a few times per week either.
This destroyed me and will never put myself in a position that I will have to during her free time ever again.
The worst thing was I don't need the money and will never ever choose work over spending time with family.
Now I'm pretty much a stay at home Dad and absolutely love it.
Time with your kids is much more valuable than time at work, if you can organise it that way.

 

Wow!

Thanks for the great responses. This has definitely provided some clarity on my current situation and what is most important. It’s great to read responses from people with similar circumstances and the advice from others who have missed time with family.

I’m response to some questions.

I have completed training offered through the company and anymore training eg Diploma through TAFE I have to do in my own time and at my costs, which makes it tricky. But I am currently looking into other options. At the moment I substitute my dissatisfaction with my role with learning about investing and reaching financial independence and being in a position to provide my children with opportunities I didn’t have.

We have made sacrifices for the past ten years so we are now in a position for my wife to take the next year off work and then work 3 days per week for the next five years, so she gets more time with the kids in these crucial years. I currently work semi part-time also as in 35 hours per week. But I am finished by 3pm so get to get home early to assist and be there for kids, which is great.

Even With our current income position being less for he next five years we predict we will still be in a position to reach FI in about 15 years time.

After reading these responses, moving forward the first priority should be flexibility and time with family first, which is what I have and then in five years time reassess options. And as one comment mentioned it’s a matter of being able to add some other elements to your current role to make it more rewarding etc. And my wife and mine number one priority is that we raise two confident, respectful, compassionate boys.

Oh and the major issue with my job is it can be a little isolating and lack any real social and intellectual stimulation. Not the end of the World I know, but some days it can be challenging.

Thanks for the responses guys and girls

 

you have one chance with your children and family
you have many chances with making money it is not a hard decision if you put that into perspective.

 

Be stimulated by your investing ... I know hubby sends me 3-4-5-10 emails a day in regards to property he's spotted.

Otherwise, perhaps need to expand your hobbies and make friends with parents with similar aged kids

 

This is a tough one and a lot of people probably go through this one time or another in their careers. I have a feeling you are rapidly losing or have lost your career mojo. Career mojo is a horrible thing to lose. It's soul destroying and full of what ifs and a feeling of lost opportunities. And...it won't likely getanybetter unless you do something about it. It doesn't have to be wither -or , but there Is a fairly strong negative correlation between the two.
Some ideas..lateral transfer in same company, put your hand up for new engagements /projects in same company, training options, maybe even training by yourself independent of company eg a certificate or some degree even if you have the time, money and willpower . If you do look elsewhere, try and get some flexibility in your contract.
None of this will likely be aimple, and it's not supposed to be...worthwhile stuff isn't usually...if I were you, take some small steps -keep most of the flexibility but also reach a bit more and build out step by step, and adjust career progression toflex as you go.

 

Hi John,

My wife has recently had a baby and we have consciously chosen family time as more important than our careers. We are still on relatively good wages however left a higher paying higher stress job when we thought about having kids and now she has a lower paying but much more flexible and rewarding one. It has allowed her to take almost a year off on maternity leave then go back part time.

I’ve always had a fairly flexible job and it’s really helping now, as i was able to take 6 weeks off when my son was born, i’m usually home before 5pm and there’s generally no issue with taking the odd day off, going to appointments etc.

We both could have driven hard for promotions/money but really felt there was no point, we both want to spend a lot of time with the current baby/future kids while they’re young. Will more money/a more rewarding career provide more than a loving family?

 

A wise friend send me in an email years ago before youtube and facebook and it still sticks