Health & Family Alternate strategy to achieve rewarding lifestyle and wealthy retirement

Like this dude?

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=837605596324268

 

They stole your idea!

 

I think parenthood is not for everyone so if a person makes a conscious choice to not have kids, good on them. I know men and women who have had kids for their partner and their attitude to children did not change once the little ones arrived. Living a few miserable decades to make someone happy is a huge call to make.

Financially we took a hit initially but that was due to me not working, rather than the child being a huge cost. Fast forward to today and he's earning both our salaries so money coming through the door hasn't changed. Raising children is only as financially draining as you allow your spending to be.

 

1) I don't like babies. Children can be fun at times, as long as they're in moderation
2) Having kids means I can't just randomly decide to crash at a mates place. I can't randomly decide to stay out with the boys longer. I can't decide on a whim to buy a 2 door car. I can't decide to sleep in if they're up doing anything.
3) My friends are anything but losers. Many made mistakes in their teens, however they made things work for the kid and put themselves at the bottom of the pile. While we're judging books by the cover, you sound presumptuous.
4) I don't want a whole new world of parent clubs, school creche's, babysitters, doctor visits, getting into fights with the idiot kid who is pushing drugs parents etc.
5) Nothing I love more than an international flight with a screaming baby on the flight. Or having to stay awake to be responsible for the kids.
6) I would obviously be able to afford more if I had to spend more on a kid.
7) Why are my reasons poor excuses?

Can I ask, why did you want and/or have kids?

 

I am the only one in my social circle growing up that hasn't had kids. I never saw the desire, nor had any maternal drive. More than half the people I socialized with as a teen had at least one child by the age of 20 and every single one of them was regularly pressuring me at that age. Think that Seinfeld episode "Elaiiiine, you've got to have a bayyyyybeeee!".

However, like so many have posted, at that age you don't know what you want next month, let alone the next two decades. I think I did the absolute right thing, freezing the little swimmers and giving myself the option in the future.

I now am more sure than ever that I do not want them and am extremely happy with my choice.

Happened to at least one of the people I used to know in my teens.

Thanks mate, it's good just getting it out in the open and hearing other peoples opinions, while sharing mine too.

 

I missed your post earlier, what an interesting view.

On the surface, it does seem the more educated think about the impacts of their decisions on the new life they're bringing into the world, while the less educated may simply think "this goes in there! [9 months later] Hey governmint! Pay me to raise my children! House prices are unaffordable!"

 

My 3.5 yo son loves the 2 door mini convertible. I even picked a car seat that matches the leather! Admittedly we did own it before we had kids, but it's just fine for them.

It's very rude and unfair for people to tell you that your perfectly valid reasons are poor excuses. How people think they are justified to comment on such a personal decision is beyond me.

 

I agree. It's like me (childless) asking you why you had kids and then judging whether that is a "good" reason or not. It's just not right!

 

its all good freezing your gear to protect you from the evil sucubus's out there while your at da club [insert funny meme of dude at da club] but the thing is if you have frozen them its for the off chance you do want to use them, right? or is it to save humanity when your jar survives an alien invasion? (ill keep with the serious tone)

The other problem is that if you do want to you sow yours seeds you'll need a partner, that could be the problem, if your at da bowling club with your bingo mates and decide you found "the one" and want to breed, the problem is her eggs, after 30 the difficulty reproducing and side affects are significantly increased! ... but maybe you wont have a problem finding one in her early 20's that will do it with a robot for you

 

That is a good question.

I think it is an inborn gene/instinct etc which ensures the continuation of the species.

Most folks (not all) have it, many feel it grab them early in life, many feel it grab them later on in life.

Wife and I are in that group - made the conscious decision to hold off until we had had some "US" time and got set up a bit financially. My instinct seemed to kick in at about 30 years old, but held off until 40. Before then; not much desire to have any kids even though I liked them.

Some feel it grab, but then weigh up the pros and cons and decide no. Today it is less of an issue than say; 1960.

One of my groomsmen and his wife are childless - he is 50, she is 45. They both love kids and are surrounded by many; but had no desire to have any of their own.

They got the usual pressure from all and sundry to have them, but resisted. They seem to be very happy.

 

Nice one Bob, I'm going to substitute a "bowling club" in my mind every time I hear one of those awful "in da club" songs from now on.

 

Pugs are ugliest breed of dog.

Still infinitely better than children.

 

I really have no opinion on whether you want to have kids or not. Totally up to you and your choice ... and ... as a friend and mother always used to say to her boys "every time you put it in you run the risk." ... so understand where you're coming from.

And if you do take precautions, there is always the risk of the crazy chick who'll rescue the condom and impregnate herself - as a few poor saps have found out

http://www.mommyish.com/2011/11/23/...s-sperm-has-twins-sues-for-child-support-836/

http://www.lasisblog.com/2011/02/26/man-receives-oral-sex-ordered-to-pay-child-support/

But - there is always a but - what it sounds like about the "whoopsies", and from the excuses above, perhaps it's more about having not yet found a partner of (how do I say this?) above "bogan breeding/bonk everything in sight/having no ambition beyond pumping out government funded babies" intelligence.

Women with a bit of nouse about them don't tend to fall pregnant by mistake - we know how the process works and how to prevent it. I personally didn't have my first until 35 - and basically fell pregnant on the first unprotected try. My whole family has really fertile genetics - but somehow I still managed to "stay safe" for nearly 20 years. It's not rocket science and I definitely was "no monk".

The above excuses sound like nothing to do with having kids - but rather not finding the right partner. I'm sure the right partner, with a bit 'o class, wouldn't be real happy at unexpected crashes at friends but only because they'd be worried sick something bad had happened to you (my hubby no longer travels work work and I miss the down time) - or blowing the budget on undiscussed car purchases, but would be more than happy for you to have what car makes you happy - or even consider having a b**** fight with other mums as that is sooooo bogan - and definitely wouldn't consider using you as a sperm bank.

But - again that but - I'm am not judging you, or anyone else. I really don't care if people choose to have kids or not.

I simply think that your decision has more to do with the perhaps "not ambitious" circle of friends you associate with - your age - and some loser girls you've had contact with.

 

Reasons not to have kids:
-Added responsibility
-Restrictive

Reasons to have kids:
-My parents would love to have little ones to keep them occupied
-I want to be old with grandkids
-I want little me's in the world and I want to teach future children how to be absolutely amazing. I need to accomplish so much just to keep my mind sane.

The cons may be mitigated by getting your little ones' grandparents involved & planning your life more holistically. I don't think financial reasons are very valid ones, anyone may make enough money if they start a path towards their goals (time is a factor though). Nothing has ever stopped me achieving my goals because I chase them rather than only dream them.

Of course for a lot of people the issue is simply sentiments of disliking the idea of raising children, which is completely different to a pros vs cons or costs vs benefits.

I am 23 years old, and really look forward to having children, my parents pester me to rush it and do it sooner rather than later, but I prefer to be patient. Luckily in my case I have a strong family network to help me out with raising any future kids and I'm sure any future partner I have will also have goals, values and views that align with mine.

It doesn't need to be black and white, there's probably 50 shades of gray in between.

 

Still reckon you could create another internet sensation with Bailey, hehe.

 

We just had our first child. He's 5 months old now. Last week we just got back from 4 weeks travelling Europe. Stayed in Krk in Croatia, Chamonix in France and then stops in Switzerland and Germany. We had family help and baby sitters and my wife had to express a lot of milk but we certainly had fun. Climbed a wonderful multi pitch route in the Augiles Rouge and then did a classic alpine climb of the Cosmique Arete. Spent also a lot of time at local climbing crags with our son hanging out in a car seat capsule. Its slightly harder work of course but certainly not the death of travel and fun.

I had a child reasonably late in life and for most of my life assumed I wouldnt have children. I clearly see both sides of the equation and for anyone to preach their side is better is very ego-centric.

Have fun

 

You can still travel with children.
You can still have a life with children.
You can make a choice to not have them also.

I had my first at 40. I had travelled and had "me" time by that stage. We still continue to travel and the "me" time is admittedly less, but that's a transition I was ready for. Now it's "us" time, and I have a little someone to pass my knowledge and future onto.

Just do what's right for you. No more, no less.

 

So it is YOU people that are taking screaming babies on planes!!!! Flying is painful enough as it is... Babies and/or small children on planes are just hell on earth. As someone who can use birth control I feel that I should not be forced into a confined space with germy little small humans. Kind of like not taking babies to the cinema... Segregation is key... Like how the cinema has special children screenings... Planes should have child friendly and childfree sections!

 

First world problem thread is still going.

But seriously; I used to be one of those folks who had to endure other kids's screaming and crying and uncontrolled behaviour in restaurants and on planes etc...

Now I am a Dad of 3, and both my wife and I are well aware of the "annoying kid" effect on others.

On flights with our little ones we used to get them drugged up before hand if required ( call Family Services ) and during take off and landing give them either the boob or a bottle to stop their ears from popping, etc.

Also; during the flights, we made sure we had a variety of things to keep them amused such as books, crayons and paper, etc.

Of course; nowadays you just shove an IPad down their throat and all is good...even the toddlers.

I mean; how bloody hard is it to make a bit of an effort to do this so other travellers around you aren't put off?

There are a lot of ignorant and selfish parents wandering around this planet.