Health & Family Alternate strategy to achieve rewarding lifestyle and wealthy retirement

Very interesting angle. Reminds me of eugenics and their arguments.

 

I think you have a very negative attitude, I don't see why having kids means you cant sleep in if you want to, cant do what you want, cant go overseas, you will be glad in the morning you didn't have those couple of extra drinks. Sounds like your friends are losers with little aim or ambition, may be a partner will bring more positive enthusiastic people to socialize with, a whole new world may open up . Having kids doesn't have to prevent travel. If you have a partner who earns income and with all the money the government throws at you if you have kids, you might be able to afford more travel, I could , my partner had interesting friends and family around the world. If you don't want kids don't have them, but make that decision for the right reason, your reasons just seem like poor excuses to me.

 

This was a really great watch last night! Lots of comments that I can relate to... Deciding to be childless is certainly still stigmatised.. The constant suggestions that I am not aware of what I want to do with my body/life is infuriating to say the least... Each to their own! But I do have a pet hate who treat parenthood as some magical qualification in 'life' and talk down to childless people. But of course, I cannot understand love without have squeezed something out of my lady bits!

However, I am also of the option that the carrying capacity of the plant has well and truly been exceeded... I am glad I am alive now and not in the not-to-distant-future.

 

I've actually believed for several years that this is the direction we are already heading in.

Of course; I'm a fair bit older than many here on this forum, have moved around a fair amount and have observed a bit, so have had time to see the emerging trend.

It is definitely the case that the "lower end" are the demographic pumping out the babies, and passing on their terrible attitudes and lifestyle etc to future generations of lots of offspring, while the "higher end" are choosing to study more, get better careers, earn more, have less kids.

Shopping malls in lower socio-economic areas versus upper-middle class areas, for eg - take note and you will see it quite clearly;

Skanky Shazza over at Scuzzville Heights mall, wandering around with 4, or even 5 in tow, while Yuppy Penelope from South Yarra over at the Jam Factory with only one, maybe two.

And - not a nice topic to use as an eg, but things like those fatal house fires you often see on the nightly news - invariably the scuzzy suburb with a million kids in the house; Mum and Dad are Shazza and Dazza, or just the single Mum, etc....never the well-to-do street in Brighton with Dr and Mrs. Smythe, son and daughter at Brighton Grammar.

 

Mrs smyth could be Dr too, better clear that up so no one assumes any stereotypical profiling or casual racism....She chose to give up erbal medicine to breed her prized pugs

 

I think if you are not having kids in order to be wealthy(er) than you are making the decision for the wrong reasons. If you genuinely have no interest in kids, then its best you don't have any.

In my 20's I didn't want kids after I was 30. I hit that age and was a hairs freckle away from having the snip. Then I met a girl I could actually tolerate for more than 30days.
Wind forward a few years and had a baby boy earlier this year.

In my opinion kids will change your life as much as you want them to.
This whole "you can't travel with kids" is BS. Our boy will be 1yo in Jan. At this point he will have seen more countries than he has months of the year (i.e. +12) and he will have taken about 35international flights. The only thing I am sorry for is that he is too young to remember it.

Is life the same? no. Is it worse - no. Is it better - sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I have only a small amount of experience in the matter. However, so far the little guy has actually saved us money. We live a cheaper lifestyle now that what we used to. Again - not better or worse... just different.

There was a post on SS discussing a similar topic and someone, I can't remember who, provided a detailed account of 'leaving the decision too late'. If you think you know what you want in life at the age of 20... good for you. I dare say you will look back on yourself and laugh at your own naiveté. I do.

Im not advocating for or against having kids. But at least make the decision for the right reasons. I don't believe that being (more) financially independent is the right reason.

Blacky

 

I had the same attitude as the OP in my 20s & 30s. Traveled a lot, 68 countries, lived and worked in 4. Then in my 40s had two sons. When my second was born I quit work, and moved countries again to be near them.

Travelling definitely slows down, took my youngest alone on a few trips, one to Australia, but it is difficult, a 2 year old on long haul is not easy. I don't miss travel too much, traveled a lot before, now we mostly do local stuff in Spain. I am in the fortunate position now to not have a spouse to put up with, she has them sometimes, I have them other times. So I get some free time, and well as kids, and no nagging spouse. A single with 2 kids is a lot more work than a couple, you don't get a break, but overall it is worth it.

 

I guess the OP hasn't actually said he doesn't want kids, just doesn't want any accidental kids. It's an interesting method of accident prevention. Is the accident likely to occur with a long term partner or was it to avoid impregnating a casual bedwarmer you found in the club? If it's the latter, accidental babies is not the only thing I'd be looking to avoid. In this day and age you never know what you're picking up.

 

Ah yes; Mrs. Smythe is a specialist in Pediatrics, so she doesn't get called "Dr" anymore.

Are we all PC and happy now?

Speaking of being called "Dr" - the ones who make me laugh are the PHD's. We knew a lady in L.A who became a "Dr" (got a PHD in Egyptian social studies of some sort).

She became a bit of a p.i.t.a - started calling herself "Dr. Sue (not her real name), and everyone had to call her "doctor" and so on..letterheads changed and everything.

 

Don't let @Jamie Moore hear you talking ill about pugs...

 

My first child is a pug.

 

Jamie that first child is so ugly that you've now justified this entire thread...

 

Wash your mouth out. Bailey is a damn prince

 

Just found another pic of Bailey - this is during his working hours.

 

Fair enough. We all look pretty bad before that first coffee. I guess he scrubs up pretty well.
(For everyone else, I have met Bailey, he's a very cute dog).

 

This is a great topic.

Freeze then snip is a sensible idea to avoid an accident but retain future options.

In my 20s, I had decided "no kids, no way, never".

The reasoning behind that was manyfold. Keys were:

• If I'm going to be a father/partner, I want to be the best ever at both and therefore I'd need to have solved the "money problem" so I could dedicate myself entirely to the endeavour–I didn't think this would be possible before I was in my 50s.
• Having kids is like tethering both arms and legs to the ground with a stake for two decades–dramatically limits options and there was so much I wanted to see, do, experience–I'd need a thousand lifetimes, so n tim
• I have asperger-like focus and drive which was to the detriment of past partners; they were one small aspect of my life whereas I was the center of theirs. It wasn't fair so I made a rule of no partners, period. That kinda ruled out kids.

Now in my 30s:

• The "money problem" is as good as solved
• No plans for kids but...
• I'll never say never

 

Haha, that's a pretty cool looking dog.
Referring to the thread title, thought about creating an internet sensation?

 

Everyone wants to be this and you can't, this is an unrealistic standard. If you can honestly say you've done the best you can, then that is very commendable. I'm not the best husband/dad in the world, but I am the best for them.

Having said that, being a parent isn't for everyone, but it's been good for me. I became a dad at 44 and had another at 47. It's very tiring at this age, but it is so much fun.

 

interesting strategy noobie. I couldnt work out from your post if you never want children or if this is just an extreme form of contraception?

I think deciding not to have kids is an understandable choice. I have a few friends and relations with none or one. Just one child seems to be the best of both worlds and most sustainable option IMO.

However, you shouldnt rule it out because you want to sleep or travel. You can definitely do those things with kids. Most kids are happy eating cereal and watching morning cartoons at the weekend. Young kids can be taken anywhere and teenagers can be left in bed if they dont want to sight see. Ive seen people traveling with kids all over the world. Money definitely makes it all easier of course.

Im also really intrigued by the idea that women might want to trick you into fatherhood. Is this really a likely scenario? Of all the couples im friends with, all but two carefully planned their kids without accidents - or havent had any yet. I only know one whoopsie first baby and one whoopsie last baby. in fact i know so many friends who have used IVF or similar, infertility seems to be much more likely than accidental pregnacy.

As to the other point about evolution and IQ points. IQ does have a hereditary component but because the lack of economic inequality (until relatively recently), there is no correlation between socio economic background and IQ. Kids from deprived backgrounds could generally do as well as anyone else given the right support. (Which is why public education, especially early childhood educatio is so important for society).

Anyway noobie, i hope you always remain this happy and confident. it would be great if everyone made parenting a conscious choice rather than something they fall into.