Fear of Relationships over worry about losing everything

More and more I am seeing people who refrain from entering relationships because of a fear that the relationship may end up with them losing a large chunk of their wealth.

Do you have such a fear?

 

Though I haven't gone through this myself, I have seen friends of mine who have been quite well off, more or less starting all over again in there early/mid forties due to a relationship break down. I feel sorry for them, its depressing. Especially when I've seen them build their previous wealth through hard work and sacrifice over decades, only to have the majority be given away after a failed relationship.

I'm all for equal and fair dividing of wealth earned as a couple/partnership. But for wealth earned before you even knew the person getting 'claimed' and split. That's not just in my eyes.

I doubt there would be any effective ways to protect oneself from this?

 

Celibacy?

 

I agree is not fair. If children involved then can understand why one person should get more than their pre marriage contribution.

Perhaps a prenup can help.

 

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I mitigate the risk by pretending that I'm poor, and then once I'm sure my partner is genuine I reveal to her that I am, in fact, still poor.

 

I entered the relationship with a lot more but I would be happy to exit with half if I need to.

No one can take away my ability to create wealth and I do not buy into scarcity and fear.

However, I would rather keep it all and stay married

 

Thr courts will seek yo revert to where each party was before the relationship taking into accouny what each put in to yhe relationship includinh non financials which can be quantified. I would suspect a lot of the time it would be a fair allocation, so on average , nothing to be fearful about.

 

No way would I take that risk, luckily have dodged the bullet so far but came close. Have seen others burned.

 

No.

After more than forty years together there is enough for both of us...............

 

Has it come to this??

I'm not sure that pre nups or financial agreements would really stand up in family court, especially after a few years of partnership and changing situations..ie children, purchasing of family home/investments etc

Where children are involved though, then everything should be done to ensure they are looked after.

 

From 20 to 25 I was very fearful. As I was surrounded by fifo older men and have seen it all.

now It doesnt worry me at all when you meet the right one you will know I think.

you cant live your whole life worrying about stuff like this.

 

If I were single now it would be a consideration for me that any potential partner would be in a similar financial position to myself. Not so much for fear of losing it all as I would hope that if things were to break down we would leave with what we entered with and split fairly what we built together but more importantly is the fact that we have similar goals and interests in life and would be more compatible as a result.

 

It is a consideration, along with death, disease, despair, diahorrea and dyslexia

 

Haha don't suppose you're tempted to start practising family law next Terry?

 

I think it is wise to always do your best to protect your financial situation. However, children are a big game changer. One of my friends was in an awful marriage and waited until both the kids turned 18 before he left the marriage, so that he wouldn't have to pay child support. See a family lawyer before you get married. Have a good Plan B in case the marriage ends. And use good contraception

 

Same situation as Wylie - we met with equivalent assets, and if I was re-partnering now, I would be more cautious.

 

I don't think celibacy is the answer. You can still be in an abstinent relationship for example due to religious beliefs.

If it happens you just got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.......on to the next gold digger lol.

 

Yeah, no point worrying about some things, just be sensible.

I do know many people who will do nothing for fear of losing what they have not already gained, surprising how many have this thinking.

In other words, better to lose half of everything instead of having 100% of nothing ! © dabbler

 

As far as I'm concerned she can have the lot! Wouldn't have a clue any way