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Fear of Relationships over worry about losing everything

Discussion in 'General Property Chat' started by Terry_w, 13th Apr, 2016.

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Do you worry about losing your assets upon a relationship breakdown?

  1. No, I don't consider this at all

    70 vote(s)
    51.1%
  2. I worry that I may lose assets but I take the risk

    53 vote(s)
    38.7%
  3. I will not enter a relationship at all as I don't want the risk

    10 vote(s)
    7.3%
  4. I try to have relationships with persons more wealthy that I am.

    4 vote(s)
    2.9%
  1. Terry_w

    Terry_w Solicitor, Finance Broker, CTA Business Member

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    More and more I am seeing people who refrain from entering relationships because of a fear that the relationship may end up with them losing a large chunk of their wealth.

    Do you have such a fear?
     
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  2. Connor

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Though I haven't gone through this myself, I have seen friends of mine who have been quite well off, more or less starting all over again in there early/mid forties due to a relationship break down. I feel sorry for them, its depressing. Especially when I've seen them build their previous wealth through hard work and sacrifice over decades, only to have the majority be given away after a failed relationship.

    I'm all for equal and fair dividing of wealth earned as a couple/partnership. But for wealth earned before you even knew the person getting 'claimed' and split. That's not just in my eyes.

    I doubt there would be any effective ways to protect oneself from this?
     
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  3. Terry_w

    Terry_w Solicitor, Finance Broker, CTA Business Member

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    Celibacy?
     
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  4. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    I said "no, don't consider this at all" but reality is that hubby and I met with about the same amount of assets, in our early 20s and we built what we have together. If I was looking to start a relationship now in my 50s, I would definitely take care and look to protect what I have made so far, and I would respect any new partner to do the same with his assets.
     
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  5. Whitecat

    Whitecat Well-Known Member

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    I agree is not fair. If children involved then can understand why one person should get more than their pre marriage contribution.

    Perhaps a prenup can help.
     
  6. joel

    joel Well-Known Member

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  7. Xenia

    Xenia Adelaide Property Manager Business Member

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    I entered the relationship with a lot more but I would be happy to exit with half if I need to.

    No one can take away my ability to create wealth and I do not buy into scarcity and fear.

    However, I would rather keep it all and stay married :)
     
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  8. JDP1

    JDP1 Well-Known Member

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    Thr courts will seek yo revert to where each party was before the relationship taking into accouny what each put in to yhe relationship includinh non financials which can be quantified. I would suspect a lot of the time it would be a fair allocation, so on average , nothing to be fearful about.
     
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  9. Casteller

    Casteller Well-Known Member

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    No way would I take that risk, luckily have dodged the bullet so far but came close. Have seen others burned.
     
  10. Random Username

    Random Username Well-Known Member

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    No.

    After more than forty years together there is enough for both of us...............
     
  11. Connor

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Has it come to this??

    I'm not sure that pre nups or financial agreements would really stand up in family court, especially after a few years of partnership and changing situations..ie children, purchasing of family home/investments etc

    Where children are involved though, then everything should be done to ensure they are looked after.
     
  12. lightbulbmoment

    lightbulbmoment Well-Known Member

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    From 20 to 25 I was very fearful. As I was surrounded by fifo older men and have seen it all.

    now It doesnt worry me at all when you meet the right one you will know I think.

    you cant live your whole life worrying about stuff like this.
     
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  13. Kinnon Bell

    Kinnon Bell Finance Broker

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    If I were single now it would be a consideration for me that any potential partner would be in a similar financial position to myself. Not so much for fear of losing it all as I would hope that if things were to break down we would leave with what we entered with and split fairly what we built together but more importantly is the fact that we have similar goals and interests in life and would be more compatible as a result.
     
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  14. DaveM

    DaveM Adelaide Buyers Agent & KFC Strategist Business Member

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    It is a consideration, along with death, disease, despair, diahorrea and dyslexia
     
  15. thatbum

    thatbum Well-Known Member

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    Haha don't suppose you're tempted to start practising family law next Terry?
     
  16. Cbrgirl

    Cbrgirl Well-Known Member

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    I think it is wise to always do your best to protect your financial situation. However, children are a big game changer. One of my friends was in an awful marriage and waited until both the kids turned 18 before he left the marriage, so that he wouldn't have to pay child support. See a family lawyer before you get married. Have a good Plan B in case the marriage ends. And use good contraception :)
     
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  17. JenW

    JenW Well-Known Member

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    Same situation as Wylie - we met with equivalent assets, and if I was re-partnering now, I would be more cautious.
     
  18. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

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    I don't think celibacy is the answer. You can still be in an abstinent relationship for example due to religious beliefs.

    If it happens you just got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.......on to the next gold digger lol.
     
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  19. dabbler

    dabbler Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, no point worrying about some things, just be sensible.

    I do know many people who will do nothing for fear of losing what they have not already gained, surprising how many have this thinking.

    In other words, better to lose half of everything instead of having 100% of nothing ! © dabbler
     
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  20. Hodge

    Hodge Well-Known Member

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    As far as I'm concerned she can have the lot! Wouldn't have a clue any way :D
     
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