Health & Family Would you care/adopt grandchild again?

So pleased you were able to act before possibly more serious damage was done.

In the situation where the young mum is unable to care for her child, custody within the family is probably the best outcome.

The baby will be able to get to know her mum and e tended family while being protected and cared for safely.

Possibly the best of both worlds for her (and you)!

And don't beat yourself up about not being more vigilant - you had no inkling that the mum would act like that. And big congrats for taking prompt action.
Marg

 

@Stoffo You have done / are doing an amazing job; much better than I'm sure I would have done in a similar situation. Major life kudos to you.

 

I second this! Such good news that bubs is OK as well!

 

Stoffo you have to step up and take control because your step daughter is not able to and sounds like she needs help herself.

It’s difficult to be the only responsible person in a situation but that baby needs you

 

Cheers for the reminder
She's twice the size now compared to when she came home
From all I have read, asked and pretended to understand, it is now a slippery slope
As THIS is the best time
The remainder is ALL downhill
(NOT half a proud grandparent/stand in )

 

Enjoy it @Stoffo! They become toddlers too fast

 

And next thing they're gone or Pregnant
I get LOTS of cuddles (in the Grandpa recliner )

 

This is the stage that you know where they are - where you left them. Once she's mobile it will become way trickier but the added bonus is their personality begins to shine and she'll have you wrapped around her little finger even more

 

For those that are following (or find they're in a similar predicament)
I/we ran out of patience
Last sunday we decided to email our lawyer and go for full parental responsibility (custody)
The daughter did come home sunday night, but ignored us and hid in her room, this was only the 6th night at home THIS YEAR
The next day i asked her to make 5 min to talk to her mother before she left for work, she didnt, and ended up yelling at me
I have been messaging Family & Community Services regularly since December and had no help.
So I've finally suggested the daughter start looking for other accommodations
Big stress relief now she is gone
We waited and tried to bring them together for over 5 months, only NOW do we find out thru legal advice we should have started our application long ago.
Now we are looking at up to another 5 months and a legal bill of $60k if the other grandparents dont object/also apply
So our investment journey is on hold for 5-15 years
But, we are both looking forward to giving our all for SMILES
Still tiny today..... (but 3x bigger than when she came home)

Cheers to all the support.
I stand by an earlier comment, I would do it all again in a heartbeat, even all the stinky nappies (am now better educated too)

 

Congrats & kudos to you for stepping up. I have a couple of friends who foster little ones short term & another couple who work in various aspects of child services. From what they've said & you've described I'd be very surprised if you weren't successful in your quest for long term care. Kinship care is always preferred & you've certainly shown you will do what it takes to look after her.

Re being in your 40s....if it helps, I was only a few years younger than you when I had my 1 & only. Do I get tired, you bet, do I ever regret it, oh no

Congrats again

 

Your investment journey for the next 5-15 years will not be on hold, it will be the lovely little person you are loving and bringing up. She is a beautiful little girl. Well worth the investment! Good on you for standing up! I hope you get full custody as smoothly as possible

 

You're investing in some human real estate - the yield and growth will amaze you.

Well done @Stoffo and wife.

 

Good decision @Stoffo . Go for full legal custody.

This little one is so lucky to have you in her life taking such good care of her.
Marg

 

Thanks all
The other half "BEC" has had 4 practice runs at parenting, and it is new to me, Bec is and continues to be the backbone of everything
Yes, for over 26 years now (youngest 9yo)and we are doing it all again.
Bec deserves a medal
(A holiday to Italy is her wish )

 

Cheers
Yes @wylie a total of 6 nights sleeping at home !
Like she insisted on having "time" with baby on Christmas day, but came home late and then only spent 10 min with her........
Cheers

 

Some things are simply more important. @Stoffo it's clear you've got your priorities in the right order.

 

It has been a very trying year to date
Am after the advice of the PC pool of knowledge again
After getting all our ducks in a row to go for legal custody, the daddy came out of the woodwork mid Feb.
So over the past few months he has done some parenting courses and managed to return drug free tests, back living at home with his parents even though they have AVO's against each other since late last year (he is 21).
We feel that it is largely driven by his parents as everytime he hits a milestone its a new tv/ensuite/car/money
So by April we were in FACS mediation, the step daughter sold us up the river by giving daddy 50% custody, we were gobsmacked but ended up letting it go because everyone agreed "not to proceed any further legally", so we have every second week.
10 days later we get legal notification that he now wants 100% custody
He says "I miss her so much", yet he almost never shows for pick up/drop off .......
We fear it is only a matter of time before he falls off the wagon or fights with his parents again

We have been offered to still get access every second weekend , do we accept the red pill ? Or take the blue pill and see how much money we can throw into the rabbit hole ?
Thanks in advance

 

The smiles have been keeping us going

 

Oh goodness. I have no advice, just want to say it must be so hard for you. Thanks for doing your best. The dad will probably win full custody if he stays clean even though it mightn't be for the best for the girl.
Poor girl.