Where are all the dads??

Seems pretty common across most “developed” countries that I’ve been to or have friends in.

Looked up the stats for Aus SAHD’s vs SAHM’s- 80,000 vs 480,000. Wonder if there’s just less in your area in general?

Always good to hear. I mean it’s just bloody Instagram/Facebook, wait til they’re asleep!

 

Dads are working. Even though the law says you can ask for flexible hours, companies make excuses or just ignore the law.

I work 4 days. Not 5 days compressed into 4, but 0.8 of the full time equivalent. This also worked out really well for my wife. After maternity leave, she went back to work 3 days a week, but people treated her differently and she didn't get interesting projects. With me going 4 days, she was able to go up to 4 days and things really improved for her. Win win.

I have a full extra day with my 5yo daughter and I take her to ballet lessons on this day.There are some dads that bring their girls, but they only do it occasionally. I'm the only dad that does it every week. I also do her hair for performances.

I had to change to a new company to get this and even then, you can only ask after you have been with an employer for a year as per the Fairwork legislation. My previous employer just ignored the law and said no without even giving a justification. Women there didn't seem to have a problem going part time after maternity leave. I didn't want to fight these POS so I just found a new job. (I later found out that my boss (and owner) really regretted how he handled all that and that my skills were sorely missed. HA!) Current employer is very flexible and I can work from home if something comes up.

Welcome to the Fair Work Ombudsman website

 

I was SAHD from 2011 for 3 years

When I was SAHD I took my daughter to her ballet lessons, so had to do the ballet buns etc. At the end of the year there is a concert, and they are always asking for volunteers to assist. I was in the reception area of the ballet school looking for the sign up sheet and a ballet mum said something like "Are you looking for the volunteer list? You'll be a lot of help, wont you!" I don't even know if she meant it to sound as sarcastic as I felt it did, but jeez that knocked the wind out of my sails. Didnt bother looking to volunteer after that. Fortunately there have been plenty of other opportunities to contribute in places that were more welcoming.

Working in the canteen at school is awesome. I think you get to see a different side of your kids - they definitely behave differently at school than what they do at home. Plus you get to know their school mates better and just being around the school means you have a better idea of whats going on.

cheers,
Inertia.

 

The indignation was palpable. This was the one:-

 

Cartoonists can be an important voice of dissent

 

@inertia I'm sure she meant sincerely! well, that's what I would think - men are always handy to have around for the heavy lifting so women don't need to worry about manicures being ruined!

@LibGS I'm glad you left the previous job, hopefully the employer will think twice about these things in the future.
At my husband's work, he could only go part-time with a step down, so we've decided he'll SAH for the next few years. His work is also stressful, of the "take work home" type, so a career change seems on the cards for once kiddos are all in school, if he chooses to return to work.

 

People hate having the truth of their questionable actions pointed out to them

 

I was shocked at the outrage. What Leunig is saying here is true. I see it everywhere. I am guilty of it myself.

 

I converted my long service leave to work 4/5 for a year after the birth of our second child. I would usually go to South Bank most Mondays with my 3 year old son, and two things were great:
- Have the whole South Bank pools and play areas just for the two of us for a few hours early Monday morning;
- the surprised look on the faces of working dads in suits when I was stepping in the bus with my son on his pram, both of us in swimmers!

 

Beautiful day at the bay today. Still no dads in sight. About 25 mums and kids here. And me. This is the real wealth in life to me.


The kids gonna love cigars

 

There was not many Men as stay at home dads 20 years ago..

It was one of the best jobs of my life and as you will find out the bonding and trust that's built over those years lasts forever..

I was a stay at home dad from 1998 till last friday night when i had to pick up the daughter in the valley at 4 in the morning ,best job i ever had,school pick-up's drop-off everything ,plus it also gave me the time to try and trade shares still trying..

Enjoy every minute ,because looking back it all goes very quickly and it's always about the bigger picture and don't focus on the small things..

 

I intend to mate.

 

Not advice in any way but the only problem we had during all those early education years was getting placements in the private schools within the area we lived that's if you intend to go down that path..

Anyone that was a prior student was given first placement over people like us,my Wife was from SE/Asia and i was grade public ten i married up in life ..So you just paid a fee to go on the waiting lists can be costly if your on several private entry school lists ..

Apart from that as one of our daughters is now a Psychologist and i was her first client ,everything worked out fine..

 

This is concerning but must be at least partially influenced by location. Down the coast the split is more like 80/20 or even 70/30. I share your concern though.

Scary stuff @sharon!

My friendship circles aren't like that. Yes the mums organise most of the parties but there is usually some Dads there. I am about to go camping with another dad and our respective 6 kids - no mums allowed.

Being my own boss has been great for flexibility but for sure the struggle is real!

I am about to finish up my 3rd yr as the president of the local high school P&C, I believe it is important to be involved as can be in kids schooling - but man it is a timesuck. Have also been at 2 assemblies (primary school) in the last month (yes they were boring and I waited over 1 hr for 2 mins of fame from my offspring). As I sit there I do tell myself not to stress about what work I am not getting done.

Yay! Love hearing this.

 

True, I had the same advice given long ago re schooling. I put her on the list at the school we want even before she was born. Should be ok re schooling.

 

My daughter starts big school next year. Was thinking to be involved in the P&C...or least turn up to the mthly meetings...

 

My wife is just finishing her 3rd year as PFA Secretary for our daughter's high school. She wanted to make some friends since we joined the school at Year 10. It worked *and* she got a full-time hobby for no charge You'll find there are 3 or 4 people who do all of the work while the rest show up to the end of year drinks..

 

That sentence really needs a comma.