Where are all the dads??

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by Sackie, 7th Nov, 2019.

Join Australia's most dynamic and respected property investment community
  1. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    25,034
    Location:
    Vaucluse, Sydney.
    So I take my daughter to play at all different parks and play centres pretty much every day in the morning and afternoon sometimes. 99% of the parents playing with their kids are mums. Where are all the dads??

    I understand a large majority are probably at work but there are still so many dads that are probably doing flexible work arrangements, shift work, annual leave, ...

    Common dads!
     
    BuyersAgent, ellejay and dunno like this.
  2. TMNT

    TMNT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    23rd Jul, 2015
    Posts:
    5,572
    Location:
    Melbourne
    they must all be landlords , so they must be in the bahamas drinking cocktails while smoking a cuban cigar
     
    ellejay, KateSydney and kierank like this.
  3. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    25,034
    Location:
    Vaucluse, Sydney.
    Ha! Wouldn't that be something :cool:
     
  4. sharon

    sharon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    6th Jul, 2016
    Posts:
    441
    Location:
    Brisbane
    It gets worse. Once in school - almost all drop-offs and pick-ups are Mums. Invites to kids b'day parties - always the Mum attending with the child - or arrange the b'day parties. In some cases my friends husbands don't even attend their own child's b'day party - it's all just too many kids for them.

    Actually - the only time I have seen this in reverse - more Dads and far less Mums - is soccer training. It's mostly Dad's when it comes to soccer training nights.
     
  5. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    25,034
    Location:
    Vaucluse, Sydney.
    I honestly don't get why...
     
  6. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    27,095
    Location:
    Sydney or NSW or Australia
    I'm not so much of a park/playground/Bahamas/Bananas person but my kids would ski with me (up until the point where they could beat me down the blacks). One has bravado and will straightline it edging off the speed where need be, the other is technique all the way vs me slogging it out :rolleyes:
     
  7. Lizzie

    Lizzie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    9th Jul, 2015
    Posts:
    9,618
    Location:
    Planet A
    I guess that also depends on where you live - our neck of the woods morning dropoffs are mum's in gym gear - arvo pickup are dad's in hi-viz
     
    Ben_j, inertia, TMNT and 1 other person like this.
  8. twww

    twww Member

    Joined:
    27th Jun, 2019
    Posts:
    20
    Location:
    Sydney NSW
    Lucky for me/them that I do 4 on, 4 off and am able to go to the parks when i'm off...Did just that after dropping her sister off at Preschool yesterday.
     
    ellejay, sharon and Sackie like this.
  9. TAJ

    TAJ Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    10th Oct, 2017
    Posts:
    1,214
    Location:
    Northern NSW
    Must admit my wife did the majority of early years activities with our kids, simply due to myself trying to build a business. Managed to always spend time with them at the beach and later on helped out at the Surf club where they were all active members and still are today.
    Juggling the work / social / sport responsibilities can be challenging at times.
    Now have 2 grandsons that I thoroughly enjoy spending time with at the beach. Having more free time has opened up this avenue.
     
    ellejay, sharon and Sackie like this.
  10. dunno

    dunno Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    31st Aug, 2017
    Posts:
    1,675
    Location:
    Mt Stupid
    Working from home, I’ve been lucky enough to be a hands-on dad for nearly 18 years.

    There’s a few of us in my local community but nowhere enough. Sometimes you actually still feel like a ground breaker which is unbelievable in this day and age.

    I can remember throwing out the toys and sitting the kids on the chamber table when I crashed a council meeting to lobby about baby change rooms being located in female toilets. Made some progress there, but there will never be equality waiting in the back room with the dance mums.:rolleyes:

    Seriously dads – you are missing out if you don’t get involved in the day to day stuff while the opportunity exists. Its true they really do grow up quick. It will seem like no time before your kids are maturing and giving you the hint to stop being a helicopter.:oops:

    And society needs to get serious and make the opportunities available for men. There is two sides to the story.
     
  11. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    25,034
    Location:
    Vaucluse, Sydney.
    Great post. Curious What kinda work you did from home?
     
  12. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    27,095
    Location:
    Sydney or NSW or Australia
    Telecommuting has made my life easier, less about being in the office but being available. I see my boss if I bump into him up the road, at the gym or if we're both attending a meeting. The work, though technical, is task driven so timeframe is set by me. We had an office about 2km from home, I got there once or twice each year. Not having a regular place of work doesn't work for everyone, they need the social interaction.

    There's no lost time traveling to the office, getting dressed up etc. Other colleagues are a phone call or message away.

    The big advantage for myself is that I get to attend the performances at school, daytime functions, have an active role in committees etc.
     
    ellejay, lixas4, QldKoolies and 3 others like this.
  13. dunno

    dunno Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    31st Aug, 2017
    Posts:
    1,675
    Location:
    Mt Stupid
    Share investor. Never know what to say when people ask me what I do, it always feels like an awkward question since I stopped a standard kind of employment that most people relate too.

    Work from Home,
    Self Employed,
    Investor,
    Retired,
    Home Dad (Kitchen *****)

    Investment pays the bills but most time is spent on other things.
     
    Last edited: 7th Nov, 2019
    Stoffo, ellejay and Sackie like this.
  14. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    27,095
    Location:
    Sydney or NSW or Australia
    @dunno - you're the chairman, you warm up a chair, a stock picker as opposed to a shelf stacker, mentor to the children.
     
  15. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    25,034
    Location:
    Vaucluse, Sydney.
    That's honestly impressive. Must be quite a sophisticated stock Investor.
     
  16. jprops

    jprops Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    24th Sep, 2015
    Posts:
    885
    Location:
    Sydney
    This mentality is also perpetuated by the schools and organisations. In my family, I manage all communications. But the school will only contact my wife, even though I'm listed as primary contact.

    Same with ballet, I receive emails saying "dear mums!".

    Even if Dad's want in, they don't seem to be invited.
     
    ellejay, TAJ, Sackie and 1 other person like this.
  17. el caballo

    el caballo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    21st Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    211
    Location:
    Australia
    @dunno

    Active trader or passive LIC/divdend investor? Leveraged?

    Like @Sackie, I am curious. Serious stock traders/investors utilising their own money are a clandestine bunch as a whole. I am a serious stock trader, though far more heavily into property of late.

    My 7 year old twins have seen me more than than their mum. It builds an immutable bond - very joyful indeed!

    Cheers
    Greg
     
    ellejay likes this.
  18. dunno

    dunno Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    31st Aug, 2017
    Posts:
    1,675
    Location:
    Mt Stupid
    Made it by active and focused stock picking, currently converting some of it to passive to help preserve it.

    I’ve posted on asset allocation threads etc in the shares part of the forum about my circumstances. Don’t want to derail this thread.

    Dad’s getting involved with their kid’s day to day upbringing and things that hinder them from fully doing so is a much more important topic. I’ve been completely privileged to spend so much time. I know if I was still working a standard job, I wouldn’t have had that privilege either in physical time available or to some extent in mental and physical capacity.

    Society still has some work to do to move the culture. In the meantime, guys its worth making the extra effort to get involved if you can. IMO.

    ps @Sackie

    If there's a word opposite of "sophisticated" it would be more descriptive of me.
     
    Stoffo, ellejay and Sackie like this.
  19. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    27,095
    Location:
    Sydney or NSW or Australia
    Is it "Bogan" :D
     
    datto, sharon and dunno like this.
  20. dunno

    dunno Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    31st Aug, 2017
    Posts:
    1,675
    Location:
    Mt Stupid
    Gotta admit

    Dad, you're such a Bogan - quite a commonly heard phrase.

    Dad, you're so sophisticated. - never troubled the scorer yet.