When to say goodbye to your pet?

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by sharon, 7th Dec, 2017.

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  1. sharon

    sharon Well-Known Member

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    So my dog has diabetes, cushings disease, needs an ultra sound to check her adrenal glands, is blind and has dry eye, and needs major dental surgery. She isn't eating and has lost 4kg in the last 10mths. To say she is very sick and has declined fast is an under statement.

    The cost of all of the above to keep her going - is a major challenge for me.

    How much would you pay to keep your pet alive?
    When does it become too much?
    Or - would you sell your house to pay vet bills if it meant keeping your pet going?
     
  2. vbplease

    vbplease Well-Known Member

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    This is when we knew our family dog was ready to go.. If they no longer want to eat, that's a pretty good sign her quality of life is poor. Very tough decision.. but I believe it's the right thing to do.
    Sorry to hear you and your beloved pet are in this situation. :(
     
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  3. Kassy

    Kassy Well-Known Member

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    Hi Sharon,

    I dread this. My dog/furchild is 13yrs old.

    I fall into the category of spending anything but with the caveat of quality of life for the animal.

    You mention all her ailments but how is she tracking in her self? Is she still pottering around? Is she just laying around? Does she seem like she is in pain? Her teeth could be the cause of the lack of eating. Can you discuss what you are thinking with your vet? They can usually be a bit more detached about giving this kind of advice.

    Sorry to hear about your pet, :(

    Kassy
     
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  4. mikey7

    mikey7 Well-Known Member

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    With all our pets during my life.. we've pretty much just kept paying until they pass away.

    I will never have another pet in my lifetime, no matter how much the kids beg. They can go play with my parents dog.
     
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  5. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    It can become deeply upsetting when the final stage comes,even with all the insurance in place cost wise..

    The last time this happened to our family ,our dog of 13 years was in the last stage maybe the same as yours ,3 in the morning he went into a massive fit-back legs went all the family crying so we just put him in the car and went too the Qld Uni they have 24/7 Veterinary Emergencies ,could not even put the poor animal on the vets table he was still having random fits and by his eyes massive pain told the wife daughters to wait outside after saying good buy,then sat down on the floor with him in my lap ..Vet did what had to be done then went back home and buried him in the front yard just as the sun was starting to come up..

    School of Veterinary Science UQ VETS Small Animal Hospital - The University of Queensland, Australia
     
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  6. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    We went through this a couple of years ago. Our dog also had dry eye, was blind, and having negotiated our house like that, had started to bump into walls, perhaps had dementia.

    He was 16 or 17 (toy poodle) and wouldn't even tolerate me holding him towards the end. He was incontinent, and I used nappies at night, which created skin issues, more vet visits to manage those issues.

    We would have spent any money to fix him, but he was just old and deteriorating quite fast those last months.

    Our vet told me a few months before the end that we would need to make that decision soon, but not now, and once he stopped eating, it was definitely time to make the decision.

    It was heartbreaking, but we had the vet come to our home and my husband held him while she quickly gave him a needle. I can't think about it without crying (crying now typing this). To keep him longer would have been cruel. I still think perhaps we should have acted a month sooner.

    His quality of life was such that it was cruel to continue on. He was much loved, brought such joy to our family but it was just time for him to go and to keep him alive longer was not for him, but for us, and that was not the right thing to do.

    I'm so sorry for you and what you are going through. I also don't want another dog because I don't want to go through that again. We've just minded a neighbour's dog for 9 weeks, and now minding my nieces dog for a few weeks. We are enjoying the companionship and love they bring us.
     
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  7. D.T.

    D.T. Specialist Property Manager Business Member

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    Having been through this with an 18 year old cat and 17 year dog I can tell you its really difficult, but only you can decide. It becomes obvious that its the direction they're heading in, but like a bus you don't know which stop to get off.

    Physical health and senses both started deteriorating, and life started getting more and more difficult for them. As much as it pains me to write this, sometimes I wish we'd have gone sooner. No one wants their pets to feel like that.
     
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  8. DaveM

    DaveM Well-Known Member

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    When you are holding on for yourself and not in the best interests of the animal, its time to let them have a sleep and be out of pain.
     
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  9. Anthony Brew

    Anthony Brew Well-Known Member

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    Same with me - when no longer wanting to eat, would just find somewhere cool to lie down from lack of energy due to dehydration from not eating, and requiring staying in a strange place (cage in a vet clinic) to get a drip just to keep her hydrated with no chance of improvement, her quality of life just wasn't there and I could see it just getting worse and worse so that is when I made the decision. Incredibly painful experience.

    In a Buddhist country, my gf at the time said she went through it when she was younger but without euthanasia for the dog. The pain of seeing the dog she loved so much in such a horrific suffering state scarred her so badly that she refuses to get close to any dog any more. It really ****** me off when people blindly follow religious rules such as "don't kill" and don't have the most basic intelligence of being able to apply it in a case-by-case basis and understand that not killing a suffering animal is much more cruel.
     
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  10. jim1964

    jim1964 1941

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    I have lost both my best friends this year, its the hardest decision to make.Only you can answer your questions above.
     
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  11. sharon

    sharon Well-Known Member

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    I have discussed with the vet. They want to do treatment and monitoring.

    Jazz is sleeping ALL the time. She wants to eat but can't really. And she is dehydrated due to lack of food/water. The vet says that being diabetic - she would be eating a lot but not putting on weight. And the Cushings is also a disease where dogs want to eat more. It might be the sore tooth that makes her not want to eat.

    She is on anti-biotics and now insulin. I think I will try this for a while and see if she improves. This is so hard. I don't really know yet if I am keeping her going for me or if there is a genuine positive outcome for her with all this treatment (ultra-sound, possible biopsy, tumour removal if required etc).

    Thank you everyone for your thoughts.
     
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  12. Propagate

    Propagate Well-Known Member

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    Our first dog was my best mate in the whole world, he came everywhere with me. He got bone cancer at aged 5, talk about a complete shock. The oncologist said he was have 12-24 months but likely less than 12 and only if we amputated his leg.

    He was a Great Dane, our local vet didn't want to amputate but the cancer vet and surgeon said he was a great candidate for surgery.

    We went with the advice of the oncologist and surgeon and took his leg.

    The day I picked him up from surgery almost broke me, I could not believe what we'd done to him.

    We nursed him back to a fit, fun living dog over about 4-5 weeks then chemo every 3 weeks for the next 10 months.

    By around the 8th month his CT scan showed that his cancer had spread to his lungs and he was starting to get lumps all over him.

    He was still loving life, he'd get a bit low through chemo but then bounce back.

    Once the lumps started they grew so fast, like going form the size of a pea to a tennis ball in 3-4 days.

    His vet wanted to try a different course of chemo, but seeing as it was already in his lungs and the speed the lumps were growing we said no and got ready for the day we'd have to make the decision to let him go.

    We wanted what we thought would be his last weeks to be free from drugs so he could be clear headed and feel good for a while, so we stopped all his meds and I sat with him at home and balling my eyes out told him that if he was ready to go then it was OK with me.

    After a couple of days off the drugs he was like a puppy again! Bouncing around like an idiot, throwing his toys around and just being daft. His last day was amazing, he was running about on his 3 legs, constantly wanting hugs, he walked to the station to pick up Emma's parents with her, he was so bright. We called his vet and had her on speaker one, he recognized her voice and sat and listened, We were trying to decide what to do as the lumps were growing so fast. We said we didn't want to start meds again but we did want her to look at the lumps just for her opinion.

    We walked beck into the house, he went up to both Emma's parents, then ran over to me and that was that... he had a massive seizure and never came back. The vet came out and we sent him off on his favorite bed in our living room with us both cuddling him.

    Far out, I'm bloody balling here typing this, this was 2 years ago and I still miss the daft bugger every day.

    Where I was going with this was that we agonized over what we thought we'd do when his time came, how would we know, when/where would it happen etc. Luckily he decided for us and he went at home with the both of us.

    Once enough time had passed and we could talk about him we decided that if anything similar happened again we wouldn't put them through the suffering. Look, he was amazing and he had more good days than bad, but looking back it breaks my heart for all the bad days he had, and as much as the professionals said he'd be fin on three legs, coming back from that surgery was brutal on him.

    We did it as the time as he was only 5 and we loved him so much, it was such a shock for us seeing as he was otherwise so healthy, but I would not do it again, if anything similar happens to our current pooch it'll be a home visit after a day of the best of everything.

    The thing is, they don't really have any concept of the future, they just live for each day. As much as I wouldn't do it again I feel lucky to have known Huck through that time, he taught me so much about patience, love and just getting up and getting on with every day. He didn't know or care that he was on borrowed time.

    I can't imagine ever having another dog like him, everyone that knew him loved him to bits. We even got flowers and cards sent to the house from complete strangers in the suburb that knew him from passing on the street! Just addressed to the Big Dog ads they didn't know his or our names, far out, I have never experienced grief on the level I did when we lost him. Knowing it was coming didn't help at all.

    It's easy to say siting here from a keyboard miles away, but having gone through that then I would say to let her go sooner rather than later, it's not fair on them.

    Al the best to you and her whatever you decide and just know that when the time comes there's no shame in the grief over the loss of a pet, it's a real as it is for losing anyone, if not more so.

    I still cant tell people about Huck without tearing up. Funnily enough, there's a local old boy in the suburb who'd be pushing mid 80's at least. He bumped into Huck and I once outside the shops and was telling me about his dog from when he was a young man in his twenties, the guy started crying, he said even after all these years he still couldn't talk about him without getting upset.
     
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  13. Propin

    Propin Well-Known Member

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    My almost 14 dog was always half blind and deaf but getting worse. She has arthritis, liver and kidney problems, collapsed trachea and gone down three collar sizes in 6 months. She vomits, ect - which is a lot of work. Her mind is going- she wanders out into the rain which is so not like this little princess. She has an internal lump in her chest which I think is cancer after losing a dog to cancer before. I wanted to have her put down in the school holidays as I know it will devestate my son and he'll need some time to get over it. She's constantly starving or sleeping. My husband doesn't agree with me. It's hard!! I know my other dog is going to be devastated too.
     
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  14. jim1964

    jim1964 1941

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    They say big boys don't cry,its not true,i am crying with you mate.
     
  15. Lemmy a fiver

    Lemmy a fiver Well-Known Member

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    Seriously breaks my heart to read this thread.
    I had to put a best mate down (a Beagle) years back. I cried so much even the Vet gave me a hug.
    Looking at the current two girls we have, one is snuggled into my daughter's lap on the couch.
    The other has buried herself under a blanket on the dog bed in front of the TV.
    They are family.
     
  16. TAJ

    TAJ Well-Known Member

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    I have had several dogs over my lifetime, and seriously I have enjoyed their company as much if not more than a lot of humans I have met. Losing a Best Mate is devastating..... their love is unconditional.
     
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  17. Ed Barton

    Ed Barton Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't need to. But no.

    Let the dieing die. Animals or pets.
     
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  18. WattleIdo

    WattleIdo midas touch

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    Fantastic posts here from everyone.
    If I were in your situation, I would take into consideration a few factors.
    1/ the age of your dog. Is she older than 12? If so, I would try to accept that she is getting close to the end of her life. If not, it would be harder to accept.
    2/ As mentioned by some, eating is paramount. When anyone stops eating it means that their body is winding down. But if this is due to a dental situation, I would consider having teeth removed - depending on age. But this in itself is extremely stesssful and with all other problems, may just be too much stress. If just one problem tooth, maybe no drama and could solve all. To be discussed with the vet, for sure.
    3/ Money doesn't buy everything. It doesn't always buy good health or longevity, though it can sometimes help. You might spend a lot of money and not get the desired results. Only spend money if there is the liklihood of a better outcome. Don't forget to get a 2nd opinion from another vet. Sometimes a different approach can be helpful.
    4/ No-one likes doctors and hospitsls, getting jabbed, prodded, kept in a cage etc. Again, only do all this if the outcome is a good one.
    Having said all that, I've spent fortunes on my animals and tried all sorts of fantastic methods, often with great outcomes. Just a month or two ago, the vet saved another of my cats from a brown snake bite -cat was cold and already paralysed, missing for three days. One week later, completely recovered and good to go. Same with another cat 6 months ago. All up, cost me thousands.
    Then again, I've sometimes fussed too much over my lovely old cats who were going to die soon anyway. The best situations were when I did less, not more. And from having many animals pass away, I can honestly say I feel a lot less guilt when they die by themselves. In these situations, they will say goodbye to you. However, when they are very sick, I think euthenasia is a good option. All dogs and most cats have been euthanised at very late stages.
    I've found that the animal will give you indications.
    Not eating is one of those.
    Unfortunately, most animals have very short lives. It's just something that's hard to take.
     
    Last edited: 7th Dec, 2017
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  19. sharon

    sharon Well-Known Member

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    Just to give an update - antibiotics have helped with Jazz's teeth. They are ok for now - but will need to be removed down the track.
    The insulin has perked her up a bit - and she has started to eat a little.
    The vet did another blood test today and said to bring Jazz back in 2mths to see how she is doing.
    Unfortunately despite the improvement in food intake and general mood - she is still loosing weight. 10mths ago she was 11kg. Last week 7.8kg. This week 7.6kg.
     
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  20. Stoffo

    Stoffo Well-Known Member

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    Bugger, sorry to hear some of these stories

    I've not had to go thru this with my pets, but have with my mate/neighbor's cats, we'd go to the vets, he would come in and say his goodbyes and leave, I'd cuddle them when they went.
    Then we would go drink beers, like a wake :rolleyes:

    You won't know until you just KNOW :(
    The changes are small at first, then med's often help for a while, but one day you will look in their eyes and KNOW :oops:

    Then you will wonder if you should have done something earlier, don't worry, it was the time and you acted :)
     
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