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What if......morbid question

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by TMNT, 11th Nov, 2015.

  1. TMNT

    TMNT Well-Known Member

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    Your child is charged with a very serious crime (eg murder/rape) and their guilt is not in question

    Other then the obvious shock and disappointment
    Would you hope they get the heaviest reasonable penalty?
    Would you blame your self?
    What would you say to others if they ask you "is your son/daughter the one who did xxxx?"
    Why did they do that?
     
  2. teg499

    teg499 Well-Known Member

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    Of course as a parent you would be disappointed. But at the end of the day if the child commits the crime they should get the punishment that they deserve. No point to blame yourself. You have no control over anyone. If the child committed the crime it's because they believed that committing the crime would give them more happiness and satisfaction than not committing the crime. Actions have consequences. No one owes you anything in this world.
     
    Last edited: 11th Nov, 2015
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  3. Ace in the Hole

    Ace in the Hole Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    I'd blame myself first, then not really care about the outcome as if they don't know right from wrong from constant and persistent life lessons by now, they will never learn...
     
  4. Hodge

    Hodge Well-Known Member

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    This reminds me of that documentary last night on tv about a mother and her jihadist son. She was glad he was dead and wants him to rot in hell.
     
  5. Biz

    Biz Well-Known Member

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    I would sell the story to 60 minutes for madz profitz.
     
  6. D.T.

    D.T. Adelaide Property Manager Business Member

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    Fixed that for you :)
     
  7. Charlotte30

    Charlotte30 Well-Known Member

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    As a parent I think you would go through a number of emotions eg where did I go wrong but I think you have to support your son/daughter through the situation. It does not mean that you agree with what they have done. You are not responsible for your child's actions but you have to deal with the consequences. You can also choose what to say to others.
     
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  8. Handyandy

    Handyandy Well-Known Member

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    Some time back (In 90's) I employed a person and 3 month into his employment he suddenly didn't turn up for work. Day or 2 later I get a call from him telling me that he is in court - quotes sub-judiciary when questioned as to why he was in court.

    Couple of days later his father rings to inform me that he has been sent to jail for 2 years for a 'date rape'. In this conversation his father conveyed that he still supported his son and did everything he could to help with the case, which I understood meant financial support.

    9 months later his dad rang me again to see if I would employ him on day release. I did and then found out that his dad (and I assume the rest of his family) had supported him throughout the time including looking after his PPOR, his car etc.

    Whether he convinced his family that he was innocent or what i don't know but they certainly didn't abandon him.

    Ironic thing is that when he was released on good behavior bond he immediately bought an investment property so didn't even suffer financially.
     
  9. Steven Ryan

    Steven Ryan Mortgage Broker Business Plus Member

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    Biz..Biz Corby?
     
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  10. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    It still has to be proved first ,you engage a top end barrister that deals in this every day then sometimes they can turn the story around to see a different way of thinking,not something any parent would walk away from..
     
  11. inertia

    inertia Well-Known Member

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    tough call, and one that I don't think you can make without having actually been there...

    I would like to think that my position is that the guilty party will be dealt with appropriately by the law. I'd like to think that I would offer my support to my kid through whatever rehabilitation was required. I'd like to think I would support the justice system in implementing the sentencing as appropriate. I doubt I would aid and abet a person of interest, or obstruct an investigation, but who knows for sure.

    But as I have not been the victim, perpetrator, or indeed associated with any victim or perpetrator, of any (serious?) crime that I am aware of, I simply cannot say. For all I know I could go in to denial and pretend they don't exist.

    As for what I would say to others... I *think* my friends and family are close enough and understanding enough that I could talk openly with them.

    Cheers,
    Inertia
     
  12. Ozzie in Texas

    Ozzie in Texas Well-Known Member

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    I hope that I have raised my children well enough to know better. But if they're silly enough to commit a crime, they can do the time.
     
  13. Peter_Tersteeg

    Peter_Tersteeg Finance broker and strategist Business Member

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    They still have the death penalty for a lot of crimes in Texas...
     
  14. Ace in the Hole

    Ace in the Hole Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    The type of crime would change things a lot.
    Accused of date rape may not be able to be determined beyond resonable doubt.
    Going all Martin Bryant on a crowded shopping centre is a totally different scenario.....
     
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  15. Ozzie in Texas

    Ozzie in Texas Well-Known Member

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    Being a new Texan, that is something that I am not proud of. That and Ted Cruz. Man - where did he come from. Please shot me if he becomes VP.

    I don't support the death penalty. Harsh time for harsh crimes, yes. But I don't think a society can pretend to play God and decide on who lives or dies.
     
    Last edited: 12th Nov, 2015
  16. Ozzie in Texas

    Ozzie in Texas Well-Known Member

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    I have 3 boys - ages 9, 12 and 14 and started talking to them about sex .....as well as date rape ages ago. I see it as my responsibility to teach them. I don't shield or censor my children. I want them to know about life and not be afraid to ask questions. I can only hope that I have done my job as a parent. If they then commit that crime anyway, they deserve whatever punishment they get.

    Date rape or abuse of any kind is not ok.

    I don't see the level of crime commited as a different scenario.
     
  17. Peter_Tersteeg

    Peter_Tersteeg Finance broker and strategist Business Member

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    Unfortunately if I were to shoot you if Ted does become VP, it'd probably be in Texas. You see where this is going...

    I agree with you on all counts actually. Certainly agree that if you commit a crime you should be prepared to face the consequences. I'd probably give my own kids all the support I could, but I'd still expect them to answer to society.

    As for the death penalty, I don't support it in any way. I wouldn't serve on a jury where the death penalty is a possible outcome, for me it's not about punishment, it's state sponsored revenge. Even the worst excuse example of a life is still a life.
     
  18. Ozzie in Texas

    Ozzie in Texas Well-Known Member

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    If you shot me, perhaps you could argue a case for a "crime of passion" or perhaps .....better still, euthanasia.

    I promise........and declare right now if Ted Cruz or The Trump make it.......I will agree to not watch the news for 8 years.
     
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  19. freyja

    freyja Well-Known Member

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    There comes a point when you have raised your children to be adults who make their own choices. I'd love them but not like their choices. I think I'd support them to rectify their wrongs but if they didn't accept responsibility it would be difficult.
     
  20. Bayview

    Bayview Well-Known Member

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    As a father of 3, when I see young folks on the news who are found to be a drug addict, a drunk driver who has killed someone, a criminal etc - it makes me feel sad that such young people have ruined their lives.

    That would be my feeling if it was my own kids - but much more acute.