What are some bad lessons and attitudes you’ve inherited that had to learn to unlearn?

Discussion in 'Investor Psychology & Mindset' started by jaybean, 19th Nov, 2017.

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  1. jaybean

    jaybean Well-Known Member

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    What we learn from our parents can be extraordinarily powerful. As much as you think you can be your own man / woman, the mindset you are raised to have can be all pervasive. I went through my 20’s thinking I’ve successfully managed to become a different man from my father only to have that come back at me like a ton of bricks once I was brave enough to lift the veil of delusion.

    Here are mine and whether I’ve been able to shake it:

    All debt is bad, I was terrified about taking on a mortgage for years because of the way my dad moaned and whined about it. Success in shaking it: high, I now understand that having leverage isn’t a life sentence and this thing you should avoid like the plague.

    It’s ok to sell when it makes sense, seeing my parents make so many bad decisions made me a “hold forever” sort of person. Success in shaking it: low to medium, I still have this lingering fear that I’m going to make the wrong decision. That I’m going to screw it up and continually live in regret like my parents.

    Everyone is a freaking scammer and don’t trust anyone. Success in shaking it: high, being on a forum like this mostly free of toxic spruikers has really helped me restore faith in others.

    I’m the smartest guy in the bloody world. Success in shaking it: high, ate some humble pie and realized I got nothing to learn if I can’t admit I don’t know everything. I’d be worth 10m right now I was as smart as I thought. I’m not. So time to shut up and learn from others.

    Ability to see the bigger picture, my dad used to complain about the smallest things like receiving the rates notice. Success in shaking it: high, I now realize what the hell is a $500 rates notice when my equity is growing by $50k annually.

    Fear of asking for help, communication was always a massive weakness in our family. Success in shaking it: low. I still need to force myself to reach out to others when I’ve screwed up. This is a huge blind spot for me.
     
    Last edited: 19th Nov, 2017
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  2. Big Daddy

    Big Daddy Well-Known Member

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    Deep down everyone is decent and will do the right thing. Success in shaking it:high. Most people are scammers and if you don't watch your back then you will loose your shirt. Too many times I have trusted people and when things go wrong instead of assuming the worst I looked at the positive side. Lost tens of thousands with mechanics , trades and other people. People have to prove their trust first and I always assume the worst now.
     
  3. jaybean

    jaybean Well-Known Member

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    It’s so interesting we’ve come from opposite directions!
     
  4. Big Daddy

    Big Daddy Well-Known Member

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    Once you get burnt a few times you become cynical to protect yourself. Quite the opposite of what all my positive thinking books and seminars suggested but necessary since it happened 3 times this year. About 40k lost
     
  5. jaybean

    jaybean Well-Known Member

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    Yup I’ve lost money too. I think like with anything in life it’s about finding that balance. Being too cynical has burned me as well, I never used to believe a lot of financial success stories then I sat down, looked at the numbers and noticed some of them added up. I’m still kicking myself to this day for being so negative about everything when I was younger.