QLD Tips for Writing Rental Listing

Discussion in 'Property Management' started by DT86, 16th Dec, 2022.

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  1. DT86

    DT86 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jul, 2022
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    Location:
    Adelaide
    Just wondering if there any any Real Estate Copywriters here that can provide feedback to Advert I've written up. Most listing just list features, and I thought I'd go one step further and try to highlight the benefits:


    Energy-Efficient & Pet-Friendly 3 Bedroom Brick House with Solar Panels & Ducted Air Conditioning Made for Family Living


    Welcome to [Address] , a Contemporary Brick House Built with Energy Efficiency in Mind, and Located in a Desirable Location Made for Family Living, and is also Pet-Friendly.

    ENERGY EFFICIENT TO SAVE YOU MONEY
    • Brick Construction will keep your Home Cooler in Summer and Warmer during Winter.
    • Solar Panels to Save you Thousands of dollars from your Power Bills each Year.
    • Ducted Air Conditioning to Efficiently and Quietly Heat and Cool the Entire House.
    • Ceiling Fans to Effectively Circulate Air in your Home & Improve Comfort.
    SPACIOUS AND PRACTICAL KITCHEN
    • Stainless Steel Appliances that are Durable, Easy to Maintain and Hygienic.
    • Gas Cooktops that provide you with More Control over the Heat for the Perfect Meal.
    • Ample Cupboard Space to Keep Your Kitchen Clean & Tidy.
    QUALITY TIME WITH FAMILY & FRIENDS
    • Open Plan Kitchen and Lounge Room to Make it Easier to Keep an Eye on Your Kids when Cooking.
    • Tranquil Backyard with Full Length Undercover Entertainment Area with Enough Space for your Kids and Pets to Run Around, and for Barbeques with Family and Friends.
    • Sliding Glass Door with Security Screen between Kitchen, Lounge and Outdoor area to Maximise Entertainment Area.
    PRACTICAL LIVING SPACE
    • Seamless Bedrooms that Look More Spacious and Cleaner with In-Built Wardrobes.
    • Separate Study Room that you can use for your Home Office to be More Productive.
    • Easy & Convenient Access the Bathroom through two different doors with the Ability to lock doors for Privacy.
    KEEP YOUR FAMILY & BELONGINGS SAFE
    • Fully Fenced Yard for Security & Privacy.
    • Single Lockup Garage to Protect Your Car from the Weather.
    • Large 6x3 Metre Garden Shed to Reduce Clutter in Your Home, and Store Your Bikes, Mower and Tools Safely.
    CONVENIENTLY LOCATED CLOSED TO AMENITIES
    • Close to Schools: Walk to [Location] Primary School in Less than 10min While Enjoying Fresh Air.
    • Close to Hospital: Perfect if You’re Pregnant and Expecting Soon…
    • Close to [Location] Entertainment Centre: Keep Your Kids Entertained with the Latest Blockbuster Movies and Much More.
    • Close to Major Shopping Centre: Conveniently Shop at dozens of retailers for all your groceries, clothes, and appliances in One Location.
    • Close to Restaurants: Treat Your Family to a Delicious Meal without Cooking.
    • Close to [Location] Sports Precinct: Keep Fit and Healthy by joining World Class Indoor Sports and Gym, or Rock-Climbing.
    Complete the Application Form Below to Secure this Lovely Home for Your Family.
     
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  2. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    I'm sorry to say it lost me... too sugary. I've removed what I think doesn't need to be there.

    I didn't remove all the capitalised words, but that also looks odd.

    Keep it simple. ;);)
     
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  3. Michael Mitchell

    Michael Mitchell Well-Known Member

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    I like it, well done. Can I use it? haha :p
     
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  4. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    Also... anyone looking for a rental in that area will know what the local facilities are, so stating them without the "extra fluff" just looks more professional (to me anyway).
     
    Michael Mitchell likes this.
  5. Paul@PAS

    Paul@PAS Tax, Accounting + SMSF + All things Property Tax Business Plus Member

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    It may be embelishment. Imagine if a tenant finds the energy rating and the like are not the case ? It may be better to state the features and not what you think about the features. It certainly can be decluttered. Its like a resume. Cut the words down. Nobody wants opinions and want simple facts

    eg Stainless steel appliances arent and more or less hygenic than enamelled . In fact some tenants may even think its ready to scour with an abrasive product to keep it maintained.
     
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  6. Paul@PAS

    Paul@PAS Tax, Accounting + SMSF + All things Property Tax Business Plus Member

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    Whats with the upper case to almost every word ? Only proper nouns should be capitalised
     
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  7. Trainee

    Trainee Well-Known Member

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    So much detail on ‘hey heres how you should live’ it’s….. creepy. This is the sort of place that gets onto the news under the headline ‘owner installs hidden camera in rental’.

    seriously most humans know what air con and fans do.

    just list the rent, available date and just those headings.
     
    Gimm likes this.
  8. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    I just realised you may not see my ideas (as I've amended your advert).

    Here it is (but I've not removed the capital letters spread through each heading, which need to go. This gives all the details needed, without the flowery prose, which I found very off-putting.

    Image 16-12-2022 at 1.46 pm.jpeg
     
  9. balwoges

    balwoges Well-Known Member

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    What landlord is going to pay for this long ad ... I suspect not many ... :D
     
  10. SeafordSunshine

    SeafordSunshine Well-Known Member

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    Dear DT86
    a picture paints a thousand words.
    Get some nice pictures!
    I hope this helps.
     
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  11. MB18

    MB18 Well-Known Member

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    Get some proper pictures, you'll stand out amongst 99% of every other rental listings still using a 90s VGA camera.
     
  12. Ruby Tuesday

    Ruby Tuesday Well-Known Member

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    I think people will read a few lines feel nauseated if not they will by the time the get to "seamless bedroom" and move on, dont want to be treated like fools, know why they want to rent where, dont need to be told how to live, most wont give a stuff about the restuarant if this is important they can get home delivery. Dont want to be bull****ed to, unlikely to save thousands because of solar panels, what if they dont ! Brick houses absorb and retain heat and get hotter and hotter unless the nights are cool.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: 19th Dec, 2022
  13. Tom Rivera

    Tom Rivera Property Manager Business Member

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    Love this @wylie !
     
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  14. KarenMH

    KarenMH Member

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    DT Property Management - Gold Coast
    LOL you are lucky if they read a basic advertisement. No matter how much detail you put you still get the questions, how many bedrooms, when is this available, how do I apply?
     
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  15. dabbler

    dabbler Well-Known Member

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    lol......I nearly nodded off after the first few lines, what kept me awake was thinking of how much interest rates have increased, so was able to send this reply.

    More waffle than the best BS artists I have seen :) I want a home, not a script writer !
     
    Michael Mitchell likes this.
  16. Burramys

    Burramys Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Melbourne
    I agree with the above posts that say to use lower case for proper nouns only. It's too long, too wordy, too brusque. Something shorter with sentences dealing with information that cannot be gleaned from the pictures is advised. I'm a sub-editor. PM me if you'd like me to revise this or a further version.
     
  17. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    Location:
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    Late to the party.

    Too much info that tenants don't want.

    Sufficient to say:

    3 bedrooms, built-ins, study, modern SS kitchen with gas appliances, AC and fans. L/U garage and large shed.

    Fully fenced, child/pet friendly yard.

    Long term lease considered.

    ________

    All the rest is fluff, solar and location become obvious to anyone looking and can be mentioned when on site.
     
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