This is my 30,000th post

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by Terry_w, 2nd Apr, 2021.

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  1. Terry_w

    Terry_w Lawyer, Tax Adviser and Mortgage broker in Sydney Business Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    41,672
    Location:
    Australia wide
    This is my 30,000th post so I thought I would tell you a story.



    I had a client call me the other day asking me to go with him to an ATO audit. I met him at the station and we walked up to the ATO.

    The ATO officer wanted to go through his bank account statements to ask him about unusual deposits into his account. He told them it was money from gambling.

    The ATO officer said 'I have heard that one before, have you got any evidence?'.

    The client said I will give you an example of how I made that money. ‘I bet you I can bite my left eye. You give me $5,000 if I can and I will give you $5,000 if I can't!

    The officer complained that the Commissioner doesn't allow them to gamble but thinks, ok there is no way he could bite his own eye. so he agrees.

    The client then took out his glass eye and put it in his mouth and bit it.

    The officer was a bit taken aback realising he just lost $5,000.

    Then the client said 'I will give you a chance to win your money back, I bet you I can bite my right eye, double or nothing.'

    There is no way the guy was totally blind as he walked in unaided and was going through the bank statements, so the ATO office said 'ok lets do it'.

    The client then pulled out his false teeth and bit his right eye.

    ‘damn!’ the ATO guy said.

    ‘Ok I will give you one more chance to win your money back, if I can’t **** in that bin behind your desk without spilling a drop, I will give you $15,000!’

    It was about 2m away so the ATO guy knew there was no way this would be possible from where he was standing so he accepted the bet.

    The client then undid his pants and started urinating all over the place, it went all over the desk of the ATO officer.

    The ATO officer, and a few others who had gathered, were laughing and clapping as the client handed him $15,000.

    Everyone was laughing except me.

    That's because on the way over the client said to me don’t worry about the ATO, I will be soon ******* on their desk with them laughing and all happy. I said no way that will happen!

    He said, do you wanna make a bet for $50,000 that it will happen?
     
  2. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    18th Jun, 2015
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    27,101
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    Sydney or NSW or Australia
    You oughta get out more ;)
     
    boganfromlogan and kierank like this.
  3. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    23rd Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    6,675
    Location:
    Mt Druuiitt
    Yore a demon Terry. We need you in the Druitt.
     
    Michael Mitchell and samiam like this.
  4. twisted strategies

    twisted strategies Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    1st Jul, 2015
    Posts:
    1,461
    Location:
    QLD
    awesome effort Terry,

    even though until recently i was only on InvestChat

    congratulations , well done

    and thanks for all the folks you helped ( whether you knew it or not )
     
  5. Optimus

    Optimus Well-Known Member Business Member

    Joined:
    2nd May, 2018
    Posts:
    280
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Legend.
     
  6. Patrico1966

    Patrico1966 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    12th Jun, 2019
    Posts:
    410
    Location:
    North perth
    Well done
     

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