The one(girl) that got away!

She was something like this, I swear:

 

Did she say I luv youse?

Don't worry I believe you....

 

I remember the Merc had "elegance" written on the side.

 

Which cheek or thigh was that and was it a tat of the three pointed star?

Yes I know ....all class...sheer elegance.....'ang on it could have been an Avantgarde...any way you would have been close enough to tell which model she was...

 

The only tatt I recall was that of a butterfly on her ankle.

My attention was not drawn on the car. It wasn't a Commodore.

 

OK Datto......I reckon you are are being honest given the details....you seem to be pretty good bloke.....matter of time my friend..before one finds ya!

If you are ever come to the Wenty meet-ups come say hello.

Damn shame it was it was not a Commodore. Probably a North Shore princess who lost her way.

 

Absolutely. However my feelings arent the only thing that is part of the equation.

Some things are best left alone

 

Back in the UK 20 years ago I met a girl who was a friend of a friend. We hit it off, I was besotted with her. We hung out a few times but I was very self conscious and not a very confident person at all back then, (particularly around girls). She was a high achiever and I simply didn't persue it enough due to self sabotage in the main, she was moving away to another town, which although not too far away was enough of a convenient excuse for me to "give up" the chase, even though she was on my mind all of the time.

A couple of years later I met my current partner. We've been together for 18 amazing years, but often I would think back to the "what if".

We moved from the UK to Melbourne in 2007, my old friend who had originally introduced me the "the girl" all that time ago happened to mention to me, "oh, by the way, you know xxxx moved to Melbourne a few years ago? Got married, has 2 kids?" - no, I had no idea. Didn't pay it much thought other that the occasional "what if's again".

Fast forward to last year and I get another message from another old UK mate that was from the same circle of friends, he was coming over to visit her and knew I lived in Melbourne too, did we want to catch up. She was now divorced and single, and get this, had been living within 10k of me for the last 6 years!

So, last year, after not seeing her for 20 years she came to our house and my partner and I made a nice dinner for her and my old UK buddy.

.....she, her and my partner are now really great friends and we catch up regularly.

Do I still have feelings? Of course, but not in the same way. It has been amazing catching up again, she's great and it's been fun filling in the 20 year gap but there is no way it ever would have worked between us, (if there ever was all that much on from her side anyway back then). She's a fantastic friend but we are too different, (and far too similar in many ways), for it ever to have worked. I think I would have been the one on the wrong end of that divorce had we gotten together all those years ago. I am a very different person now than I was then and becoming friends after all this time has been fantastic.

Funny how after 20 years of no contact we end up basically in the same suburb but on the other side of the planet, and had been for many years without knowing.

It highlights that, although we may have these romanticized ideals of the ones that got away, how much of it is rose tinted reminiscing and over inflated remembrance of an infatuation that you carry for years and how much of it is a genuine lost chance will never be known. For me, I have had the luxury of complete closure. Sure, had anything every happened there would have no doubt been some great times along the way, but I know now that it would never have worked out.

 

I met a girl at a party, our eyes locked as she entered and we hit it off big time. I had been a bit of a player in my younger years and then decided to give up dating as I didn't like the man I was becoming. 20 months I had been single and was perfectly happy with that but when I saw her I thought to myself, I am going to marry that girl.

We had a great night of chatting and laughing and maybe there was a little kiss at the end of the night, we arranged to go out the next day.

I took her out to Manly for lunch then she said she felt she owed it to her ex to give him one last chance (in spite of the fact that his last 20 chances proved he is simply not right for her), I dropped her home and that was that, she went back to her ex.











Roll on 6 months, I moved into the area she lived in by pure chance and she messaged me to see if I needed a hand with the move (we used to hang out on the same forum), she had broken up with the ex a short while earlier and it was for good. We got together and we have now been married for 9 years, together for 11 .

We got together in April, she moved in in May and I asked her to marry me in June. Like I said at the start of the story, I knew I would marry her the second I saw her.

She was the one that got away, she is also the one that came back to me .

 

Datto, it's fairly impressive that we have amongst us one of the brains behind one of the greatest rock clips of all time:-



...hope it worked out in the end (in the short, medium or long term)...

 

I believe true love happens when both people are exactly at the same time and place to receive it. Both are ready.

What you have is a mismatch of time and place. She has already told you about her feelings and needs and unfortunately, they don't match yours.

Obviously, keeping in contact with her keeps you thinking about "what if" when there is no future. Perhaps, you need to stop the pain by cutting contact with her and moving on......and deciding if you are currently in the relationship you want to be in, regardless of anyone else.

 

Ah - yes - but the unobtainable is always more lucrative ... until you obtain it ...

... and, as Billy Connolly once said something along the lines of ... when asked about any temptation to stray when on tour ... "I love my wife, so I have never felt the need to be with another woman"

 

yes spot on, love is not logical,

you get that buzz regarldess of how old or how experienced you are,

some people just do it for you,
and you go against common sense or logic.

but they do say dont die without trying!