The incredible power of association – who do you hang around?

Those crooks are usually good enough to bamboozle their auditors.

@Spiderman - are they still pushing Maslow at uni? What next- the carrot and the stick?

 

A couple of cliche statements- Who you chose to have around you lets you know who you are as a person & You can't fly with the eagles if you're hanging out with turkeys. I used to do sprinting and I always made sure I trained with people who were faster than me. Being from Adelaide our sprinters are fairly poor in comparison to a lot of the guys over in Sydney (and atrocious compared to people in the US and Carribean LOL!). Other than a smaller population base I also think it's because unless you make the move interstate you're just going to stagnate being the big fish in a small pond.

 

plyaing devils advocate, if you were one of these "higher level" people, wouldnt you want to be hanging around people higher then you?

 

Sure, but it looks like this now


This makes me wonder why some people come onto this forum and run down property investment. Landlords are providing one of the most essential human needs.

Anyway, I hang around with other people who are property investors. I don't spend much time with overly negative people. I think the OP is right and it does rub off on you.

 

I believe it's true. I also believe if you can't find real people, hanging around the right books can have a similar effect. None of my 'outside work and PC friends' own any property other than their home, so for me in the early days it was devouring books that led me to the right people, who led me to more books, which led me to other people....

I've found that most successful people (in all areas, not just money) are generous spirited and are happy to answer questions and have conversations not because there's anything in it for them, but because they are passionate about what they do.

 

No, never did this sort of thing, other than checking for references etc via a third party, surely there was another way?

MTR

 

I guess it must be the detective in me that made me curious. Any other way may have taken months.

But anyway it's all water under the bridge now. You're not by any chance looking for a protege to take under your wing? Promise to keep out of the office lol.

 

They say "When the student is ready, the teacher appears". This has been true in my case. When I started looking, a mentor appeared.

I also started heading out to as many of the forum meet ups I could.

One thing led to another..met some folks and some more folks and the rest is history.

I axed a few acquaintances immediately and drifted from others. I still spend minor time with some of those folks but very little as I find it so much more fulfilling to be around people who inspire me and have positive things to say instead of complaining.

I have found, almost universally, those who have had successes in various areas of life are happy to "pay it forward". It can be very fulfilling to have a positive impact on someone else's life.

As above. "Paying it forward".

100% agreed. Books can put you inside the mind of another person. This forum is great too. So are videos. All great, especially if finding such people in real-life is difficult.

 

can only speak for myself on both sides of that equation.

there have been plenty of people a few levels above me who have provided advice, shared contacts etc and wanted nothing in return. some have asked me for favours after that etc.

on the other side of the equation ive helped a fair few people too, especially with starting businesses and never took a cent, although perhaps in the future i might take a few token %. someone i helped set up had never run a business before and now within 4 years i reckon he would make somewhere between 500-700k/yr and structures it well enough that he has at least 3 or 4 decent holidays a year too so isnt a slave to it. to me seeing him doing so well makes me proud that i had a small role to play, i see no reason not to have helped him.

it isnt always about what can i gain from this person, why not help someone if theyre a good person, mean well, have ambition and you have the experience and expertise to do so? there is more than enough money to go around imo.

 

absolutely, I get what you are saying, however if people are going to "value" people by their net wealth/income/status etc etc. etc. etc. then chances are these people also think like this or at least used to , so It wouldnt surprise me if I went up to them, and told them what I have...or dont have to be indirectly told "you arent up to my level to associate with me"

 

i do consider myself lucky though in terms of being around people. i come from a family that in both mum and dads side there was no one who worked for themselves. not one. indian families are often very risk averse so my dad was the first one to do so. even now, from all the cousins i can only think of my brother and 1 possible other who have our own businesses and there are a lot of family members.

i was lucky that i grew up seeing dad struggle and try to grow his business as it gave a sense of perspective and made me realise it was an option.

a friend of mine grew up very poor in perth with a single dad on low income and is now worth 7/8 figures while being pretty young. he reckons being exposed to some extended family members etc who did well for themselves and were self employed was a big part of him thinking big and knowing more was possible even when he was pretty young.

this is why i get a bit frustrated when i hear some on the forum say they hide their success completely, friends/family dont know etc. i understand there are some situations that call for that but sharing with others can also lead to amazing things for them.,

 

it would certainly surprise me, ive never had that happen to me. if you are approaching them with a sense of honesty it is often reciprocated.

i had drinks with someone worth around $300m a month or 2 ago and treated him the same (apart from when we were talking business) as my friend who joined us later who i doubt has less than $3k in savings.

that successful person is still a person, if you make it obvious all you want is to suck info out of them (there are a few people like that who constantly badger them) then sure they might give you the cold shoulder.

 

Where did this come from?

 

we have a great family network in terms of finance, what Im trying to say is that , we all have different wealths but we keep it to ourselves out of respect, we wont be hassling our relatives for money (unless we are on the streets with no food), nor do they hassle us

none of us are envious to a high extent of eachother, none of us brag about what we have or dont have,

so I perfectly understand not discloing everything to our families like its our best friend,

that being said our family isnt the close close close stereotypical families that you often associate with europeans and some asian countries

 

Sounds like a quote out Anthony Robbins.....Steve I can agree with somethings but not others...

Things like jettisoning people because they don't fit the mould makes you lose perspective. The other side of the coin is have a balanced view...if you surround yourself with only like minded people don't you lose perspective? I have seen this in real life...you need people who will keep you grounded..and need to be thankful for this. Otherwise...you will be agreeing the "Emperer has Clothes when he has not"

Obviously..some basics apply..but here is what I believe works from my perspective:

1. Run your own race.....and be accountable
2. Question everything but discount nothing...also ask the question what is that person's angle do they have an agenda (do they have anything to gain)...
3. Go against the pack...humans are essentially pack animals when it comes to investing..
4. It is okay to be lazy....having too many things buzzing in your head you loose focus..and you are not as creative
5. Take action...set goals and review it regularly
6 Maintain focus and passion
7. Have a thick skin....people who are easily offended usually give up quickly also..they throw toys on the air
8. Oh...be careful of personal development gurus...they want you to spend 10k on their products...
9. Be a leader not a follower...this means going against the crowd a lot of times...
10. Be loyal......to your friends and expect the same of them with no compromise....this can't be replaced by wealth
11. Life can be disappointing sometime..**** happens...but learn to enjoy it. Life cannot have extraordinary moments all the time. This expectation is why there is so much depression...

As I said on another thread...I am to be "Positively Below Average"....

 

I think it also applies to things like this -- this online forum has a variety of people with excellent skill sets in a variety of relevant topics (investing,renovating,developing, finance etc). By jumping on and reading and posting people are 'surrounding themselves' with this. I don't think you have to limit it to people that you may have face to face relationships with.

 

And @sanj the person's desire to succeed made you happier because you invested yourself in that person. well done.

 

But @sanj when you have risk adverse parents and in laws...extended family, it's pretty hard to share all the excitement after all the drumming in of negatives (risky, you cannot afford it, you must pay off your home loan first, you need this before you can do that...) I found it pretty hard.

 

Exactly. Your engaging in conversation of a different level. I have no friends and lurke here to feel loved and I feel it

 

I don't think you can share the same excitement level but a bit of "suck eggs " and hopefully they can change their opinions and understand your achievements, then follow your lead and ask for advice too