The Entitled Generations

Discussion in 'Investor Psychology & Mindset' started by Angel, 17th Dec, 2016.

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  1. Ed Barton

    Ed Barton Well-Known Member

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    I read recently that it was around $30k. The Average Australian Wedding Costs $36,200 [Infographic] This site has it at $36k, which I'm far more inclined to believe. There's no way the average is 90!
     
    Ed Barton, 13th Feb, 2017
    #41
  2. Ed Barton

    Ed Barton Well-Known Member

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    What would you suggest is a sensible average amount?
     
    Ed Barton, 13th Feb, 2017
    #42
  3. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    Even $30k is crazy in my eyes. We had a middle of the range, moderately expensive wedding, but we had that because it was the wedding my mother wanted to host. She had one daughter and back then, the bride's family paid for everything except the drinks.

    Hubby and I went through with it to please our parents. My mother gave us what would today be a $50k wedding (just guessing) that cost about $30k (today's dollars - guessing). I think actually our wedding cost was about $3k - 30 years ago for the reception at Petrie Mansions restaurant. I think it was about $27 or $30 a head and we had about 100 people there. One table of our friends, the rest relatives, friends of our parents, some we would have walked past in the street and not recognised. Crazy!

    These days it seems most weddings we've gone to are paid by the wedding couple anyway. Back 30 years ago, it was pretty much the bride's family paid for the reception and the groom's parents paid for the alcohol. Very lopsided.

    I like that the nicest weddings we've attended have been simple affairs, not always looking cheap, but with a lovely homely, loving feeling. Nobody is trying to impress anyone.

    If and when our boys marry, we will certainly help out financially if they want a bigger wedding than we would have liked. But even if we had daughters, we would not be doing the "bling, bonanza, show off" wedding.

    To be honest, I would be worried if our boys were with someone who needed this sort of wedding to prove something to themselves, their guests, whoever.

    If we could have done what we wanted to do, we would have gone to the registry office and then had dinner with our parents, siblings and some friends. I don't regret our wedding because it was what my mother wanted for us. We compromised our wishes for mainly my mother, but also hubby's parents. His mother is very much into being seen to know how to dress nicely, impress her friends and put on a good show.

    I believe my wedding was (for my mother) everything she would have loved to have, but she had the wedding that her mother and father put on for her. They were paying, so they got the wedding they chose. I believe that is why many couples pay for their own weddings these days, along with usually being a bit older and more established and less reliant on parents for either approval and/or financial help.

    She always said growing up that she had four friends at her wedding and everyone else was a relative or friend of her parents. How ironic really that I got the wedding my mother wanted and not the wedding I wanted.

    So, one day I'll have to just suck it up if our boys or their partners want the big, showy wedding, but I certainly will not be paying for it.

    I'll be happy with whatever service they choose (our boys will not want a church wedding unless their partner wishes for that). A nice restaurant meal maybe. I'll no have any final say though as to what they want, but we won't be parting with anything like $30k.
     
    wylie, 13th Feb, 2017
    #43
  4. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    I don't think there is a "sensible average amount"... too many variables.

    I would hope our boys would have the service of their choice followed by a meal at a restaurant with as many people as they would like there. That is what I would have liked. I'm aware I'm putting my choices here, and of course they will make their own choices.

    I have in mind that I'd be prepared to pay $10k towards booking out a restaurant, but I'd prefer to give them $10k cash to renovate. They don't even need money to travel these days because it is just so cheap.

    That $10k is just off the top of my head too. I've not had to think about it yet.
     
    wylie, 13th Feb, 2017
    #44
  5. Marg4000

    Marg4000 Well-Known Member

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    My daughter married in 2000 and all up I reckon it cost around $5K, maybe up to $6K.

    Church wedding and reception with 3 course sit down dinner and local band for 70 family and friends at the local golf club. Dress was around $650 from a suburban designer, fittings included, bridesmaid dresses from the formal section at Myer, men hired suits, friends with white cars did the driving. Another friend videoed, but professional photos.

    No corners cut, daughter got the wedding she wanted.
    Marg
     
    Marg4000, 13th Feb, 2017
    #45
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  6. Dan Donoghue

    Dan Donoghue Well-Known Member

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    We did ours for 11K including our 11 night honeymoon in Fiji and a $1,000 bar tab at the ceremony. We had 65 guests.

    Some of the ways we saved money:
    We used a celebrant and got married on the grounds above the beach (on the beach costs a lot, on the grass above it was a "Donation to the surf club")
    I bought a cake from Michelles and put the bride and groom figurine on myself ($50)
    we hired out a whole restaurant (which had a bar attached, also ours for the night) for $35 a head
    I went to the restaurant on the morning of the wedding and set up all the tables and placements myself (free)
    A friend with a brand new Alfa drove us to and from (free)
    Our wedding invites were online (personalised to each person based on a unique code I supplied to them) (free)

    As soon as you say Baby, Wedding or Funeral (or as my dad calls it, Hatches, Matches and Dispatches ;)), prices quadruple
     
    Dan Donoghue, 13th Feb, 2017
    #46
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  7. EN710

    EN710 Well-Known Member

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    My wedding cost about $8K excluding honeymoon and only cost that much because mum want me to be in wedding dress, proper photographer, proper hair do, etc. If it's left to what we wanted it might cost about $3K max. for lunch place, celebrant and venue.
     
    EN710, 13th Feb, 2017
    #47
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  8. Ed Barton

    Ed Barton Well-Known Member

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    Arrivals, merges and departures.
     
    Ed Barton, 13th Feb, 2017
    #48
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  9. Joshwaaaa

    Joshwaaaa Well-Known Member

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    $0 here, together.... a while now, 2 kids, been through a few houses. After a couple years people stop asking when you are going to get married. :p
     
    Joshwaaaa, 13th Feb, 2017
    #49
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  10. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    How long ago?
     
    wylie, 13th Feb, 2017
    #50
  11. hammer

    hammer Well-Known Member

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    We did ours for 3 k. We were on the bones or our derrieres at the time and just had it at mums house.

    We had 3 big Eskies filled with beer, White and Red.

    And we got a group to come in and do finger food.

    Mates came in and played music and it was a hoot!!!

    It would have been nice to do the big hoo ra ra...but we couldn't afford it.

    Turns out we didn't need to either. People came to see us and celebrate.

    Impressing people wasn't required.
     
    hammer, 13th Feb, 2017
    #51
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  12. EN710

    EN710 Well-Known Member

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    This is 2013
    Lunch on Sydney tower was $55 per person - we had some unexpected guess, so 15 instead of 10 people. The venue in botanical garden about $500 for 2 hours, celebrant $700. That's all we wanted, then we got "You need to wear wedding dress!!", and the list keep adding on top.
     
    EN710, 13th Feb, 2017
    #52
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  13. Gockie

    Gockie Life is good ☺️ Premium Member

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    I think PCers are likely to pay less than the general population. I'm not married (defacto) so my wedding costs are zero. My parents gave money to my sisters for their weddings. For me, I asked and Dad has lent me money for buying IPs instead. Hehe.
     
    Gockie, 13th Feb, 2017
    #53
  14. Sonamic

    Sonamic Well-Known Member

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    Dan, you took the bait. How unprofessional of you. Lol!
     
    Sonamic, 13th Feb, 2017
    #54
  15. Simon Hampel

    Simon Hampel Founder Staff Member

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    LOL ... 22.5 years ago my soon-to-be father-in-law gave us $5K to put towards our wedding ... we worked really hard to make a profit from that and we did ... spent quite a bit less than $5K all up :D

    That being said ... it doesn't sound anywhere near as impressive when I put the 22.5 years ago part in there :p
     
    Simon Hampel, 13th Feb, 2017
    #55
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  16. Ross Forrester

    Ross Forrester Well-Known Member

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    How to create a fight - pay different amount of money towards each kids wedding. If it is not clear (among other things) then straight after you die your legacy will be that your kids fight.

    Part of your family business charter will cover how you the family will contribute to big life events - education, wedding, early inheritance and the like. It will also cover how kids who don't have these big life events are assisted (if at all).

    The short answer is that every generation feels entitled to something. It is up to the older generation to manage this expectation and facilitate a process to encourage the new generation becoming engaged in what the family is doing.

    This is a life long process.
     
    Ross Forrester, 13th Feb, 2017
    #56
  17. Dan Donoghue

    Dan Donoghue Well-Known Member

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    I know :( I really have to not read social media when I drink too much Scotch, I become a grumpy old ******* ;)
     
    Dan Donoghue, 13th Feb, 2017
    #57
  18. Phase2

    Phase2 Well-Known Member

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    Interesting perspective on spending habits.. from an article in today's "The West"
     
    Phase2, 13th Feb, 2017
    #58
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  19. House

    House Well-Known Member

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    Whatever she tells you. No questions asked.
     
    House, 13th Feb, 2017
    #59
  20. Marg4000

    Marg4000 Well-Known Member

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    Agree. When our son was getting married we told them we would contribute a similar amount towards their wedding as we gave our daughter. Turns out wife's parents offered to pay for everything! We said it made no difference to us, we still gave them the money and left it to them to sort out.
    Marg
     
    Marg4000, 13th Feb, 2017
    #60
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