Success doesnt mean to be wealthy,does it or not?

Discussion in 'Investor Psychology & Mindset' started by MyDarlinghurst, 28th Jan, 2018.

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  1. MyDarlinghurst

    MyDarlinghurst Well-Known Member

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    I went out last week in the morning to meet a good friend and his friend for breakfast at a expensive Surry Hills cafe

    my friend s friend is 39yo man,his lifestyle is he works in hospitality hotel,income 60k a year,Monday to Friday position.
    he wears Armani t shirts ,he boasted it cost him over $300 and nice trainer shoes.over $500.,his haircut was $99.,his wallet was genuine leather and he bought CK Perfumes,and he had his face facials every 2nd week.

    He shares/rents a expensive apartment in Surry Hills that has parking and large pool with 6 other people.
    He goes to the gym every day usually, and goes overseas Bali,Asia,USA twice a year.
    he drives is paying off a Sports car BMW Convertible

    He still goes to nightclubs on most weekends and manages to pick up girls half his age.

    He knew about my thirst for property investment and told me of his lifestyle and how happy he was and he had no goals to buy his own apartment ,he enjoys renting,travelling,nightclubbing,buying the best clothes and weekend drives in his sports car usually with younger girlfriends.

    he was successful,advertised his pic on dating site Tinder ,and seemed healthy tanned fit,happy and......successful,he has travelled the World .

    he is not wealthy however and recently missed payments on his car where my friend lent him money to stop the repossession.

    to me i envy him in a way.i would dearly love to travel the world so much but i cant afford it.
    i look at people in my gym wearing nice expensive singlets whilst im wearing torn old t shirts because i cannot afford it.

    He is happy with his life and successful.

    do we have to look down on everyone who doesnt want to own their own home or become wealthy?
    does that mean success?

    you see with my long beard and ponytails and my general clothes usually bought from the Salvos i am looked down as a rubbish person homeless and failure whilst he looking so nice with nice clothes he is looked as succesful .

    i say this because when the BILL time came the waitress immediately took the bill to him.
    i was offended standing outside a restaurant in George street near Hay street looking at the menu a few months ago with a comment from inside i heard that i was homeless.

    to me that man i met was successful in his life it terms of happiness, sucess doesnt mean money it means a lot of things.
     
  2. Biz

    Biz Well-Known Member

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    Darlo, you are a complete failure and yes you should feel terrible about yourself.
     
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  3. MyDarlinghurst

    MyDarlinghurst Well-Known Member

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    ;) at least i managed to haggle the price down on my t shirt i bought at the Salvo Store:D
     
  4. alexm

    alexm Well-Known Member

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    @MyDarlinghurst , very interesting topic. Success is a personal opinion.

    Looking at the surface to your description, who will have a better life when each of you (hopefully) reach 60+? Who will have choice?

    For me the answer is simple but that's my opinion.
     
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  5. Perthguy

    Perthguy Well-Known Member

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    No, "we" do not have to look down on people who don't want to own their own home. This seems like a trivial reason to look down on someone.
     
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  6. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

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    Many things to be successful at. You can be a successful parent and be not financially successful at the same time.

    Overall though, I don't know too many people who struggle financially on a daily basis and still feel very successful.

    With regards to looking down on ppl, I don't look down on anyone based on how wealthy they are or not. Only ppl I can't stand are the super entitled bunch.
     
  7. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member

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    Good work, how much did you pay for it??
     
  8. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

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    Ever thought about moving to Mt Druitt and picking up women 1.5x your age?
     
  9. WattleIdo

    WattleIdo midas touch

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    He really knows how to make 60 grand go a long way. Are you sure he's not a trust fund baby?
     
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  10. Ace in the Hole

    Ace in the Hole Well-Known Member

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    You know you’ve made it when you can own a Genuine Leather Wallet !
     
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  11. sash

    sash Well-Known Member

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    Don't worry mate...I can't afford anything either...now how far youse off in the spectrum?

     
  12. Angel

    Angel Well-Known Member

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    O Darl, he sounds like such a loser. I lost all respect for him when he paid full price for his shoes rather than getting them online from the States.
     
  13. Ace in the Hole

    Ace in the Hole Well-Known Member

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    I wonder what the young ladies think of him when he takes them back to the Surry Hills apartment and see’s the other 6 housemates cramped in there, must creep them out ?!!!
     
  14. Mel Morgan

    Mel Morgan Sydney Property Manager Business Member

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    I think success is in the eye of the beholder...you don't have to be wealthy, you just need to have what you value in life, and be heading where you want to be going.

    You friend obviously values his image and lifestyle, but I wonder if he's happy with where he's heading..?
     
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  15. Perthguy

    Perthguy Well-Known Member

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    I have a 20 year old polyester surf wallet. I don't feel like I need to have a flash wallet to impress people. A few people have had a go at me about my wallet like it's not good enough or something. I find that attitude very uninteresting and I am not at all interested in spending time with people like that.
     
  16. EN710

    EN710 Well-Known Member

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    He sounds like someone I know and likely it's not ladies that they're taking home ;)
     
  17. Rolf Latham

    Rolf Latham Inciteful (sic) Staff Member Business Plus Member

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    Significance over success.

    ta
    rolf
     
  18. Tim86

    Tim86 Well-Known Member

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    You define for yourself what success is. So it can come in many forms.

    If his definition of success makes him happy and doesnt hurt anyone then good on him.

    You need to be very careful with your own definition of success if you want to be happy.

    I still remember a Tony Robbins example on this. One man thinks he is successful only if he earns a million a year, drives the fastest newest sports car, has the best body fat percentage, the hottest wife, the smartest kids in the best private school... and if he doesnt have these things then it is terrible and he is a failure. Another man's test for success is that when he wakes in the morning as long as he wakes above ground rather than buried under it then it is a successful day. Who is going to be happier?

    Like anything we need to be reasonable. Treat yourself reasonably. Do you have the balance right if people think u are homeless? Maybe not. Especially considering that obviously has gotten to you. So what can you do about it? As is often the case. You can adjust your expectations so its acceptable to you or change what you are doing so it is acceptable to you.
     
  19. AndyPandy

    AndyPandy Well-Known Member

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    @darlo, you really need to change your outlook on things if you want to be happy in life. And being happy is the biggest yardstick of success. If you're trying to buy houses with the aim of buying happiness when you buy them, you're going to be disappointed because you'll just be the same sad person you were, only now with a few houses.

    You see yourself as a poor person but it is your attitude that is poor. You have poor person mentality. Some people look at a person with a ponytail and beard and think they are cool hipsters, nothing to be ashamed about. If you went to the salvos at Newtown, you'll probably pay more than you would have paid for new clothes, so why the self-pity?

    If it bothers you that much, just get a hair trimmer and do it yourself, it doesn't cost much to groom yourself. And singlets cost $5 at kmart.

    Point is, your success and happiness is in YOUR mind.
     
  20. hwbesqu

    hwbesqu Active Member

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    I think it would be very sad to measure success by financial achievements alone, and as others before have said each person would measure success differently.
    Am I successful?
    Well I have been lucky to be successful in, and enjoy, every job I have had - finance manager, property manager, B&B/day spa operator & residential park manager. Are they high flying six figure jobs? No but I have done them well, enjoyed each and every role, received affirmative feedback to that effect, and feel I did the best I could - so yes in my career I am successful by my standards.
    Am I successful in real estate?
    We have bought and sold numerous properties. I have loved the renovation process - from demolition to design/colour coordination etc- and taken great pride in displaying them to the market and getting the positive feedback. All but 3 have made good money. Should I have gone with the principal of holding them long term? Absolutely-it would have made me far more financially wealthy and placed me in a far better position - but I had so much fun along the way I don't regret it- so yes in my property ventures I am successful by my standards.
    Have I had adventures?
    Yep - refer previous posts - I am lucky to have a partner who simply rolls his eye and packs his bags when I tell him we are off overseas/interstate/have bought another house....cat... etc. Absolutely successful.
    Am I successful personally?
    Well one failed marriage after 11 years - still friends to this day, and each better people without each other. Our son is financially independent, has a great job, new wife and is a well adjusted individual of whom I am immensely proud. Successful - yes I think so.
    Hubbie number 2 - married 18 years - my co conspirator in all my adventures - father to our 13 yr old (my handbrake in the short term). Has been swept along in all my wild plans and enjoyed them. Successful - yes again.
    So by my standards i am successful, and have been very lucky. There are things I could regret if I allowed myself to dwell on them - but what's the point. I have done the best I could, and made decisions at the time I thought were right - so I am successful and happy with my lot in life.
     
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