Stranger wants to put family member in will

We have quite a strange situation at the moment.

A family member has a shop and used to own a main street take away in the same area. They have been in the street for about 7 years.

They had a semi-regular customer at the take away. They sold it about 2 years ago and opened up another shop.

In the past week the old customer has returned. Despite the family members protests the old customer shows up every day with large amounts of fruit, veg, bread, sweets etc. worth between $80-$120. This particular family member can be quite loud and assertive and tells him to stop bringing gifts in no uncertain terms, it doesn't seem to deter him.

He is apparently a singer, well known and well paid in his particular ethnic community (I haven't found a trace of him online). His wife became ill and died a few years ago, he claims they had a valuable business and real estate which was sold and he has no financial worries.

Yesterday he bought live chickens, he then accidentally dropped their cage and I ended up chasing one of the chickens down the main street in traffic. He managed to get the 4 chickens into a tiny little hire car to go back to his motel, scratching the vinyl seats in the process and the birds doing their business on the seat (I have no idea how he planned to sneak them in to the motel but he claimed the room had a private courtyard to release the chickens into).

Around the time I was stopping a 4wd in the middle of the street to catch the chicken I became concerned that the fellow may not be mentally healthy. The whole situation with the chickens was not something a reasonable person would do.

He is quite a flamboyant dresser, wears a large gold love heart pendant with a photo of himself etched into it and I'm not sure whether he is eccentric and lonely or there are mental health issues.

When I was first told about him I had concerns that he may be trying to win their trust to con them. After meeting him briefly yesterday those concerns have been allayed and I am more concerned about him.

He has shown up today and wants the family members full name and residential address to add them into his will. I told them not to give the details and to get his solicitor to call them so we can:

A) Rule out the family member becoming a victim of ID theft/fraud (DD would be done on the 'solicitor' as well)

B) Relay concerns to the solicitor about his behaviour and inform a next of kin if there are in fact MH issues at play.

Not sure what else can be done. We can't force a mental health assessment on a stranger and he isn't at risk of physical/self harm so it's not a matter for paramedics/police either.

 

The fixation he has with your family member seems very unhealthy and I'd be worried about his mental stability and the degree to which his obsession could play out. Seems like he's heading into stalker territory wanting name and address.

I'd be speaking to the police.

 

At the moment all there would be to report is that a long-time customer is bringing gifts to the shop. No grounds for an AVO, no threats, no fears of violence etc.

 

Seems to me from your first post that it is more a case of a person with a mental health issue having a fixation on a family member. The fact that he's pressing for name and address would be concerning to me.

 

It is a concern, but more from the point of view of his health and the fact that he is burning through money like crazy.

He is extreme in all his behaviour, not just in regard to the family member. He goes to their shop once a day, stays for a short time and goes about his business elsewhere. Each day he has a new pair of brightly coloured pants to show off as well.

I would actually tip him legitimately putting them in his will over the stalker scenario. He wasn't phased when the address wasn't given to him.

 

What's his ulterior motive?

Is he in love with some one?

An infatuation can make people do strange things. I remember when I .......whao, I won't go there lol.

Speak to a solicitor re AVO. This fella has been told to kerb his behaviour but persists. Surely that's grounds. I mean it was in my case.

 

possibility that he is attracted to one of your family members, a lady maybe.. fixated and extreme is not healthy..

 

The shop is a husband and wife team, both always there, both retirement age.

He has been told to stop spending his money on gifts, not to stop coming to the shop. He is a pleasant fellow, he works his way up and down the main strip, a bit of a local identity I think.

 

It's a possibility, we are keeping an eye on it to ensure there isn't an escalation in behaviour.

They have known him for years now (all the time he was a widower) and have always been pleasant toward him. I think others have a tendancy to take advantage of him, whereas they are genuinely concerned about him.

EDIT: I should add that he has only reappeared in the past week or so. He lives quite a distance away, down here for work. From what we've been told the money he is spending has come from the sale of a property and he doesn't want his children to get anything (both estranged, at least one is a drug addict)

 

This is sounding creepy. Get your assertive family member to finish the job.

 

My brother in law had a local odd ball that used to come in for takeaway coffee 3,4 times a day at his café..until that is someone caught him stealing from the tip jar that was on the counter.
Footage revealed him doing it every time he came in for his coffee..

 

There were no shortage of those at their take away! The occassional shop lifter who used to steal drinks from the TA comes in to the shop, hard to deal with but if they were ever caught God help them!

 

Be very careful we had a friend who had ana experience similar to this I forgot what the mental condition the police ended up saying he had(might have been bipolar with split personality) they start harmless but get an unhealthy attachment to people. It starts with gifts etc but if they want something they can't have or feel betrayed by the victim it goes bad quickly. Fruit and Veg shows they are insane you don't make friends with fruit and veg!

 

They are all European so fruit and veg is definately the way to go!

Bipolar was mentioned by another family member. At what point were the police involved? I know there are limitations on what the police can do with regard to this fellows MH at this point.

 

You can chat confidentially to the local mental health access team, they may know him and catch it before he loses everything or at least bring some clarification.

 

Hehe.
Stalk to ya later darl.

 

Great idea. Do they fall under NSW Health? Took a bit to find but just read up on bipolar excessive spending and compulsive shopping. Sounds exactly like what this fellow is doing.

 

Yep, try NSW and they'll point you in the right direction. Worth exploring.

 

Absolutely agree.

This sounds like textbook manic phase of bipolar. They need help.

 

We are going to try get in touch with them tomorrow. We know a family who have a bipolar son, we are going to call them as well to see how best to handle the situation when he comes to the shop again, or at least not make the episode worse.