Relationship breakdown due to financial difficulties?

Discussion in 'Money Management & Banking' started by TMNT, 12th Mar, 2019.

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  1. ellejay

    ellejay Well-Known Member

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    We're in a fair bit of financial strife at the moment because I got scammed big by a property mentor. My hubby has been amazing, staying calmer than me and hasn't once blamed me or made me feel bad about it. At times like these you find out who's really there for you no matter what.
     
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  2. KateSydney

    KateSydney Well-Known Member

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    He's a keeper
     
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  3. TMNT

    TMNT Well-Known Member

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    Amen to that!
     
  4. MTR

    MTR Material Girl Premium Member

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    Financial stress has nothing to do with gender, it impacts on both.....
     
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  5. ellejay

    ellejay Well-Known Member

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    When it happens it really tests your resources, both individually and as a couple. I used to think I practiced daily gratitude but I think only this real stress that I'm under now has focused my thinking and my appreciation of what and who I have. Maybe that's the difference between us and couples who split? Despite the pressure we're funding things to be grateful for everyday...even if it's only new ways to take down the person who did this to us

     
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  6. MTR

    MTR Material Girl Premium Member

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    You will need to walk in someone’s shoes, its easier said than done. We are still together and survived, but it was a difficult time in our life

    My partners business went pair shaped during GFC, we lost $1M of our personal funds, lucky we we were able to pay our creditors and move on

    I blamed my husband initially and then got over it and just moved on.

    I harbour no resentment now.

    But its not as simple as you may think, how You deal with this may be very different to someone else.

    If you have children it may also impact on their lives. Its not black or white, you cant expect people to all react the same way

    Main thing is that we worked through it together and we survived it and moved on
     
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  7. TMNT

    TMNT Well-Known Member

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    well said MTR,

    it would be impossible to say how you would react in those circumstances if you have never been in it,

    but it is easy to judge the decisions/behaviour of those in those situations
     
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  8. skater

    skater Capitalist -- www.skatepro.com.au Premium Member

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    Just remember, this is only temporary, and shall pass. You'll get through this & be much stronger for the experience.
     
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  9. Lizzie

    Lizzie Well-Known Member

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    It's very much what you bring to the relationship and your attitude.

    Hubby and I have been through some very stressful financial times although, I understand his mindset so shielded him from a lot of what was happening (took the emotional burden on by myself). Not to be deceitful, but because I knew he would struggle to remain calm and simply work through the situation - so I did a lot of it by myself.

    We also always had (and have) a contingency plan. Around 8 years ago he was about to be made redundant from a company he'd worked for, for 30 years. No problems - I sussed out a rang of jobs I could move into that paid well for long hours - okay, they were pretty ordinary jobs but one does what they have to do - we'd sell the house and downsize within the same suburb - he then would've had the option to go back to uni and retrain or search for something else. Not required as he walked straight into another job, but it was good knowing there were options.

    Unlike someone else I know - husband lost their job but didn't tell wife for 12 months (until all the savings ran out) - she refused to get a job because it was his role to "provide for the family" - elderly parents bailed them out until he found new employment around 12 months later ... this left me flabbergast.

    And then for those who do divorce - it's a whole new string of financial arguments because, no matter how you divide the assets, you still only end up with a portion of the whole - whereas many people believe they are entitled to have the same lifestyle/assets/combined income they had while still married
     
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