Relationship: am i being unreasonable?

The other way you can look at this is to always do what's best for the other person always put them first. Then trust that they'll always do what's best for you and put you first.

Okay, that's probably a bit extreme, but it can also be the basis for an amazing relationship.

 

What a lot of folks fail to realise/see is that to do what is best for the other person is ultimately doing what is best for themselves as well.

 

I havnt had a good day up to now, i just read this and cant stop laughing.Thanks!!!!

 

Hi Marc, that's what I'm trying to say. One can't be the best person they can be when they are attempting to be someone they aren't.

In the context of TMNT's discussion, if he succumbs to this woman's demands, she will ultimately lose attraction for him and leave him, because 'You're not the same man I fell in love with'.

 

It sounds like you have not found "the one" quite yet.

Might be close - but when people do they don't think about it like this.

When you do you will find it hard to slow yourself down.

Your language and approach is just a bit short of that.

 

A friend of ours have left his partner 4 times and always gone back. He keep saying that she is amazing woman and if he can not make it work with her, he can not make relationship work with anyone.

Personally I feel that his situation is like Tonibell describes above. Even if she is really caring, loving, generally nice, overall beautiful person inside and out, she really is not 'The One' for him. Why does she let him to do that to her is completely another story and let's not distract this thread by it.

My point is that OP might be in the same situation. He has find someone who is almost 'The One' but not quite.

My opinion is that neither of you are unreasonable. If having your own space and 5 days on + 2 days off relationship is really, really important to you and your values, you will be miserable if needing to compromise. But it also works both ways. If she feels that living together with a partner is really, really important to her and her values for what ever reason, she will be miserable if needing to compromise.
As Tim said you as a couple just might be on the different page.

Well done by discussing about the topic with your girlfriend and willing to suffer possible consequences if she decides that what you can offer is not enough to her. I bet it was not easy to start a conversation.

 

Mine is being unreasonable too, refuses to swap her allegiance to the West Coast Eagles.

 

Problem is no one is perfect. And with any person you choose you are ultimately choosing a set of problems.

Its just a matter of whether or not those problems are deal breakers for you.

Some people are so picky and their expectations are so unreasonable that they dont stand a chance of finding someone acceptable to them.

And thats fine. As long as you are prepared to be alone.

Expecting someone to accept a relationship with the same outline as a working week, as if your partner is a job that you need a 2 day weekend off of every 5 days... you might be searching a while before you find someone like minded.

 

The fact is if i didnt have kids and ahe did and she had to spend 2 days per week with them without me and i wanted to spend 7 days with her. Id simply accept the fact that thats what you get with dating a sibgle mother and to expect otherwise would just be ignorant.
If you value something or someone so much a little compromise wouldnt even be blip in your feelings towards them

And for me to give her the ultimatum 7 days or nothing. To me is just silly, unreasonable and plain selfish. And childish.

Life is full of compromises in my opinion. Whetehr it be relationships, going to the store or watching tv

 

Having been a single parent dating someone without kids, I don't understand why after 2 years she would need 2 days a week to spend with her kids. You're either a family or you aren't.

 

Just a side issue......
I just wonder how tough it is to find partners today?? Most of my single g/friends who have been married/divorced in their 40s/50s have found it incredibly hard as they get older to find a partner.

I wonder if it gets harder as you get older or they are too picky. I don't know I have been married for 30 years, not perfect marriage by any stretch, but we have not killed each other yet.

Back to thread, I must read all the posts, its a long thread. Thanks TMNT, its interesting topic

 

not sure about older people here, but id hate to be a younger person dating, the people now, especially women are so superficial, vain and up and down,

I dated a few girls a bit young then me late 20s (yes not that young)a few years ago and they were either self obsessed, narcisistic or had the attention span of a backyard chicken. One minute all over you, the next minute, cant even remember your name, back to acting like serious bf/gf, all while checking out how manypeople had liked their post on FB

or most likely I just know how to pick the rotten egg !

 

you would have picked some rotten eggs, but your generalisation has a point.
Difficult to find brains thesedays...

 

Yes.....but as socrates says.......

 

The best advice I ever got in relation to dating was this: Know your target audience. Be attractive to them.

That applies to everyone. If women want to find great guys - and they are EVERYWHERE - then they need to let go of the 'Men should like me for who I am' lie and become the women that men are attracted to, whatever that may be. Make an effort to be attractive and they won't have a problem finding a man. It's not rocket science.

 

Cos 40-50 year old men are dating women 15 years younger.

 

Thats what so many old geesers in thailand think about the bar girl they have hooked up with............ and im not joking! !