Health & Family Quitting alcohol and social life

Lol

But I do have an issue with people who are not doggie people. I dont trust them
That probably makes me weird

 

I'm lucky with my friends here in that, although they all drink, none have had digs at me when I've tried to quit.

Back in the UK my friends and family are all huge drinkers, as was I and can be/still am. If I'd told anyone back home I was trying to quit there'd be little to no support.

There's a few times over the years where my drinking has frightened even me, I'm a "happy drunk", I don't get aggro etc when sloshed but it has frightened me in the sense that when I've tried to stop I haven't been able to. I managed to kick it about 2 years ago when it got to the point where I was putting away a couple of slabs and a couple of bottles of whisky a week, just at home.

It sank in just how much of a problem it was becoming when I actually tried to top and realized I couldn't. I'd make it to the evening then find myself stood at the fridge door with a beer or at the shelf with the whisky bottle literally sweating and battling with myself not top open it.

I was on the cusp of having to ask for professional help.

I managed to get passed the worst of it by keeping a pint glass next to the drink shelf and fridge. Each time I went to reach for a drink I quickly grabbed the glass, filled it with water and downed 2-3 pints of water in quick succession. The last thing I wanted to do then was float booze over the top.

That worked, it got me passed the initial withdrawals and cravings and I stayed sober for maybe 6 months, by which time I'd convinced myself I was OK and could have the odd one or two again.

Now, I'm back to drinking every day. I've managed to stay off the hard stuff generally but I'm back at that point where I think about wanting a drink almost all the time. Coming from the area/background I did this never seemed a "problem" but I know deep down it's not a healthy mindset.

I almost ruined Christmas Day this year for my partner, we were at a neighbors Christmas Eve, his son is a distiller, I got so wasted I couldn't get out of bed until 2:45pm Christmas Day, I managed to get a quick shower and park myself in a chair before our friends arrived for what was left of the day.

Still didn't stop me getting back on it, a couple of glasses of champagne around 5pm perked me up and off I went again.

I have a couple of character traits that both help and hinder with these sorts of things. I generally don't give two ***** what people think about me or what I do, this wasn't always the case, I was always a real sensitive, self conscious kid that always tried to do anything to fit in and be liked. As I got older I realized that didn't matter so it helped me not get too swayed by peer pressure, which means I don't feel social pressure to drink. I went Vegan 18 months ago, anyone that can cope with the social pressure and unjust stigma of that can quit drinking and get passed any comments I'm sure!

The other trait is I tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of personality, doesn't matter what I try my had at, if I decide to do something I generally go at it 110%, work, hobbies, eating or drinking. Unfortunately I was not born with a moderation valve, which is a big part of why every time I have quit I've always ended up back to being a full time drinker, one or two just doesn't work. Any one that tells you that when you have this type of personality can't possibly understand it. Sure, many many people can and do jut have one or two here and there but some people just simply can't.

Sorry to hijack the tread with a ramble, that all just kind of spilled out. I'm fighting my demons again I guess and trying once again to find the courage to go tee total. I think this time, if I do, I'll really have to try and make it stick.

Good luck to anyone trying to kick it, for whatever your reasons are.

 

Unfortunately you never stop craving alcohol. So you need to give yourself a reason not to drink. I know it’s not easy and I think everyone has a different journey. Maybe @propogate ask yourself why ruin a fit runners body and a vegan diet with regular doses of poison?

Good luck

 

I hear you mate, I ask myself that all the time. Especially during the first 5-10k of a long training run when you've sank a few too man the night before. Alcohol really hinders performance and recovery, unfortunately, as you say, the cravings never go away regardless of how much you can justify not doing it.

 

@Propagate, when you move to your new property you won’t have time to drink.

 

So true. And its amazing how time consuming drinking is. I,ve had to get hobbies to fill the time. Now we have a garden I can spend hours in there. Drinking used to be my hobby!

 

I recently read two books on the subject which may (or may not be of interest)

This naked mind (Annie grace)
The unexpected joy of being sober (Catherine Grey).

 

If some of my mates thought that their wives would leave them if they didn't stop drinking, they would up their intake immediately! Just kiddin'.

Congrats on your sobriety.

 

This is true, the same for cigarettes.Speaking personally smoking 50 a day for as long as i could remember, haven't had a smoke now for just on 5 years, the same as the grog, half a bottle of scotch most days for years, sometimes before lunch, havnt had a hard drink for years as well, i at least once a day say to myself,jeez, i could really go a drink or a smoke right now,never leaves you.

 

I think you have a water problem bro...

2-3 pints ? I dunno how you could slosh that down...espc after a few slabs and whisky.

 

Haha, not on top of the grog, instead of. Dump 2-3 pints of water in in stead of reaching for a beer, no way you want to float booze on top of that then. I've always been able to down pints and pints of water, once of the reasons the grog was so easy, can neck a bottle in 30 seconds flat and straight onto the next.

I've been dry now since 27th December. It has not been easy, especially after a hot day working out the back, first thing I've wanted to do when getting back into the house is reach for a beer.

I had a dry New Year and we've had a couple of nights entertaining friends round out place and I've stayed off it then too (whilst everyone around me has drank). It has been harder than I thought.

I'm determined to see January out dry then my folks arrive from the UK for all of Feb, I'm undecided if I want to commit to T Total, I feel like I need to.

How did you get on over Christmas @paulF ?

 

That's pretty good going there @Propagate. I wouldn't be beating yourself up over the efforts or the temptation. Everyone is different and for many it's a day by day approach I've been told.

Last booze I had was in mid-December last year. I guess I'm fortunate in I don't miss it, don't even care or think about it. It's simply not part of my life.

Being an absolute ******* sometimes if others may look askew at me declining to have a drink I think stuff 'em. I don't object to their choice so I consider it's reasonable they respect mine.

 

@Propagate , well done on a dry new year and if you feel like you need to go T Total then do it. Don't drink because someone else is around unless you feel like having a drink wether it's family and or friends.

I did drink a few times because i felt like it and because there was a few ripper wines which is exactly what i want to do, drink when i feel like it and not because others are drinking.

So that wasn't too bad but at the same time when i only had a drink or two or when the matter of me not drinking suddenly was on the table, there was plenty of negative remarks which i didn't appreciate but it is what it is.

Unfortunately i got to the realisation that my entourage will simply not accept that i don't like to drink as often as they do and that my fitness is more important to me than getting drunk at every sitting and as per @SatayKing comment above, i don't object to their choices so they will have to respect mine otherwise i decided that i will be moving on.

 

Good stuff @paulF sounds like a good, healthy attitude toward it.

 

@Propagate I too played on again / off again for many years until I finally just gave it up totally.

When drinking, I would never get rolling drunk but could keep myself topped up and have a scary amount of empties to put out at the bin each week. I kidded myself that because I was a mostly happy drunk and didn't do others harm (other than an occassional grumpy outburst), that it was OK but the truth is that it was just slowly sucking the life out me and making me retreat from family and society.

So in the end, logic prevailed. If drinking was taking far more away from my life than it gave me, then stop doing it! Since stopping, my constant haze has cleared, my confidence has improved, I save thousands a year on not buying alcohol, I get out more and I drive towards any RBT with wanton glee. The ONLY issue has been other people's perception and thankfully it their problem, not mine, so I have no issues at all.

Good luck in fighting your own demons @Propagate. As I now say to people, the more you really need a drink, the more you actually don't.

 

Yeah, I knew what you were saying, good luck with it all.


Like cigarettes, if someone finds drink really addictive, then you have to cold turkey and keep away for years prob IMO. That is what I say, same for anything that is addictive to a person. Avoid gatherings while quitting where everybody will be drinking.

Anything like wine, spirit etc can do physical damage is done too excess, I had friends with liver damage at 20, they were doing the half bottle of spirits per day.