Health & Family Quitting alcohol and social life

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by paulF, 13th Dec, 2018.

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  1. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    I did what I had to do. But it's an individual choice. All power to anybody who can have a drink or three and stop.

    My wife will often have a small wine or beer with her meal, at home or out. It doesn't disturb me at all - I like to smell the wine. I've never seen her have more than two - and even that is very rare.
     
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  2. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Satay-King I think it would be different for every person..

    I went through a RBT the other morning ,the Police had it set up 50 mts from the end of the school zone ..

    Several cars were just parked there the drivers all on the way for the second testing..

    I did the ten to one countdown ,young Lady doing the testing said that's fine on your way..

    But before i drove off i asked one question ,how many have tested above the limit this morning while doing the school drop-- ..the answer was 3 so far this morning..

    I think i was very lucky to get shingles at the end of last year,and stopped drinking ..

    Sometimes if one can step back from the person you are and look at yourself from the outside it makes one think that's it -- i'm not going down that road any more ..
     
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  3. paulF

    paulF Well-Known Member

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    Well said and completely agreed.

    I never was a problem drinker and am extremely lucky(and worked hard at it...) to be able to quit any food/drink anytime i want. Always been the case and I think it's a mental/environmental/physical thing.

    I've always had a strong will, was brought up in an addiction free environment(no alcohol,smokes,drug addictions around the family) and i also think that physically my body makes it easier for me to quit things and i believe the last point is were a lot of people struggle and might not have total control over.
    They might have the strongest of will and might have been in brought up in a great environment but if the body is not willing, i think it can be a losing battle and some might be better off quitting for good.

    Just an idea of mine and obviously can't prove any of the above but it makes a lot of sense to my mind.
     
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  4. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    8 months now and working towards 12 ,makes me feel like Tenzing Norgay standing next to Sir Edward Hillary on Mt Everest in 1953 and looking down ..And good luck For everyone still in the process just keep going as it's gets better every day..
     
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  5. TMNT

    TMNT Well-Known Member

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    went to a freinds 21st brithday on the weekend, I also am friends with the uncles etc. and big brothers in in their late 30s,
    none of them are alcoholics as far as I am aware,
    but Icouldnt believe how much they could drink, theyre big boys,
    but
    3 boys 3 bottles of bourbon, 2 hours they were finished, and off they went to get some more!

    next day, they started their bbq at 1pm, 2 cases of beer gone by 5pm

    id hate to see the state of their liver!

    how on earth do some people consume that much alcohol and not be unconscious!
     
  6. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Just thought i would give this post a ''Bump''..

    It's will be 9 months in a little while,and when one reads about moderate drinking ,just one glass of beer wine a few times a week never hurt anyone is a urban myth and can cause more harm then most other legal items out there..

    Maybe it's only me but the desire to drink is starting to fade,and with sobriety as it will be very different for everyone i find nothing worries me anymore.---good luck to all ...
     
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  7. Propagate

    Propagate Well-Known Member

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    NIce work @willair - coming up 4 months for me at the end of this month and I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of being sober for good by the day. Had a few good nights over the last month with friends that would usually have entailed a lot of booze and sore heads/written off weekends the next day. It's been nice to have an enjoyable evening without the grog, be able to remember it all, have a good night sleep after and be able to get up and after it the next morning.
     
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  8. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Propagate,4 months is excellent ..Plus your network of mates all understand that shows they care ,and who better to learn from someone who has been down that road ..

    Plus the RBT'S don't worry me anymore,not that i drove drunk only some mornings after --you just never know..
     
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  9. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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  10. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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  11. paulF

    paulF Well-Known Member

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    Likewise here. Averaging 6-8 legal drinks a month and everyone in my entourage seem to have accepted that i don't drink as much as they do.

    A bit of opposition every now and then but nothing like before and i made it very clear that i will not tolerate being around intoxicated mates every time we gather. No problem with the odd drinking session but it's pretty tiresome being around drunken behaviour at every gathering.

    I was hoping my moderation might rub off on some of the guys but sadly it ain't.
     
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  12. SatayKing

    SatayKing Well-Known Member

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    It's all about ME!
    Nice to read of your progress and not only an apparently physical one either.
     
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  13. SatayKing

    SatayKing Well-Known Member

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    It's all about ME!
    I reckon it doesn't work that way @paulF. Some may think to follow an example but, well, me mates are having a couple so I'll have just one more to be sociable.

    The threat of an RBT around the corner won't have much effect either.

    It did me when I was caught. Low range luckily and 3 month's suspension of licence. Didn't drink drive after that but then when I think of the morning following a night session I'm convinced the Gods were on my side although they shouldn't have been.
     
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  14. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Satay-King,it's a peculiar kind of new education --learning ones limits--and thank you for the kind words as drinking was one of the hardest to finish ..
    Just like being washed up on the rocks a Kirra Point surfing 1975 with the cyclone waves and with a brand new Gordon and Smith twin fin broken in half next to me ,those 20 seconds inside a 6 foot tube and that feeling are now back with me ..Drinking took all that way..
     
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  15. paulF

    paulF Well-Known Member

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    Exactly, that's pretty much caving in to social pressure.
    One of my turning points with all this was almost 6 month ago with an RBT on a midweek night with a few mates who knew i was riding my motorcycle and yet still insisted on me having another one and i caved in.

    I wasn't over the limit but i was pretty close and the officer gave me a scalding for being that close to the limit on a Motorcycle ... His words stuck with me and i decided that enough is enough.
     
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  16. Propagate

    Propagate Well-Known Member

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    Inspirational stuff, some solid gold in this thread.

    Thanks for the link @geoffw that ones going in the reading list.

    I'm 5 days away from 4 months sober and I'm feeling better about it than I ever have.

    I was talking about it last night with the Mother-In-Law as she poured herself a G&T an offered me one, then quickly back-peddled almost ashamed that she'd offerred. I said don't be daft, we still have a cupboard full of spirits and about a dozen craft beers in the fridge. Quitting is my issue, I don't feel like anyone else in our house should refrain (unless they want to), or feel bad about drinking around me.

    I'm glad to be in a position where I'm now strong enough to refuse one.

    You'd be surprised @paulF it might not appear that you're rubbing off on them, but who knows what goes through peoples heads. If they see you out doing epic **** on weekends instead of nursing hangovers, or see that you're clear headed and kicking goals then the next thing is they've stopped that few beers mid week at home, then weeknights etc. They may never give the boozy nights out & backyard BBQ's away but you never know what positive effect you have on people by leading a life that aligns with your values more.

    Here goes the preachy vegan again... I don't mean to be (honest), but it's a good analogy. When I gave away the animal products I was super excited about it as I started to feel and perform so much better. That obviously got on peoples nerves as diet choices tend to, and most would say (when it came to the environmental side of it) that me not eating steak wont change anything, one person is not enough. Aside form it not necessarily being about anyone else, (as above, more like trying to live a life closer to my ethics and values), the effect it's had on friends and family has been profound. The first few months I was laughed at, ridiculed, and with some friends made to feel like I was a complete nutcase. Some even got quite angry with me (I've mate that's an ex butcher). Yet as the last 2 years passed and friends actually saw changes in me, and more and more of the science is making mainstream media, I've now got one good mate the went and stayed vegan, his wife and 2 kids went vegetarian, another mate and his wife have gone vegetarian, my best mate's wife has gone vegetarian and her 16 year old son vegan and a mate I used ride MTB with messaged me the other week to say thanks for planting the seed, she hadn't told anyone but has transitioned to vegan over the last 6 months. The friends that scorned and ridiculed me are now actively talking about reducing meat and dairy in their diets during general conversations, then who knows who they rub off n in turn.

    So, it does happen.

    Booze though, it is such a tough one as it's such an ingrained part of society generally.
     
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  17. TMNT

    TMNT Well-Known Member

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    well thats your choice my friend,
    there is nothing illegal or wrong with drunken behaviour as long as you dont break the law or inconvenience any one,

    if you dont want to hang around people that are drunk, thats your choice and prerogative

    last weekend I went out with some mates and went on a bar crawl and we all had fun, memory hazy near the end, woke up with a bit of a hangoever but had a great time,as did my friends

    it was good to catch up with these friends
     
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  18. Gockie

    Gockie Problem solver Premium Member

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  19. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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  20. Propagate

    Propagate Well-Known Member

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    The stats are interesting on the number of 16-24's abstaining, huge increase.

    I ticked over the 4 month mark at the weekend. We had friends over last night, a nice bottle of red was opened, it smelled amazing. I really would have loved one, I was tepted but nowhere near strongly tempted enough to act on it.
     
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