Health & Family Quitting alcohol and social life

Come On!! Day 30 of sobriety. When I wake up tomorrow morning, after not touching a drop again tonight, I will have gone my first dry month in something like 27 years.

Thanks for starting this thread @paulF and to everyone that has contributed. I honestly think this thread has been the extra catalyst I needed to do this after failing so many times.

30 days down, next goal - crack the 90 day mark.

Thank you all.

EDIT to add - bugger, the lack of alcohol has impaired my mental ability... there's 31 days in May ;-)

 

...there's no hope for me then.

 

There some line about taking 30 days for a new habit to form...in this case the habit of not drinking.

 

Just went 60 days without a drop. Training for the city 2 surf helps. But broke the drought on Wed with a bottle after contracts were exchanged on a new investment

 

I bet you feel fantastic. Hydrated skin, clear eyes, good sleep.

 

Yeah! @geoffw and @Heinz57 - made it, one full month and now 2 days into the next. 90 days is the next target.

Although I didn't really drink to excess most nights as such, I am surprised how much more alert I am on a morning, It's not like I was waking up hung over every day or necessarily feeling foggy but I do feel bit more clear headed these days (apart form waking up with the makings of a cold this morning).

Onward and upward, thanks again everyone for the support, feeling pretty empowered just now. Thanks!

 

Will write up a bit more when in a computer, but feeling pretty pleased with myself. Bar hopping from 5pm to 1:30am last night (this morning) and didn’t touch a drop!

 

Went to spice market sober recently ... probably wouldn't do that again. TO be fair Musically not my thing, too crowded to cut a groove and these old bones (or waistline) can't handle a boogie as much as they used too.

 

Yeah, so Friday night was interesting. I was a bit nervous running up to it to be honest, I'm pretty socially awkward generally. Very stereo typically use Alcohol as a crutch, once I'm sufficiently lubricated I tend to loosen right up and have a most enjoyable time, I usually just need those first few drinks in order to relax enough to start chatting to people etc.

Friday was to be a group of 9 (including partner and I), starting in a pub and on to a restaurant. I'd met one of the chaps once before, about 10 years ago, very intelligent and deep thinking guy, which made me even more socially nervous. It was my partners farewell from work dinner, the people there were all her staff (managers and leaders that directly report to her). Being essentially a blue-collar type I've always had a bit of an inferiority complex around people that went further into education and on to more academic type roles if you like. Without a good drink in me it usually manifests as not getting involved in the conversations enough, so I end up sort of sitting quietly, then get really self conscious about being someone that's there but not there if that makes sense. Once enough grog has gone down though I invariably end up the life of the party. As I said, pretty stereotypical of a self conscious, socially awkward guy that feels like alcohol is the key that unlocks the confidence box.

I was determined not to break the current dry streak though.

We met the first 4 of them in a pub about 5pm and I was instantly more relaxed, the two chaps were already well oiled having started straight from work mid-afternoon and the two ladies already there were lovely. The guys were on their way to drunk already, so didn't really matter what I said or did, they were too caught up in their in-jokes etc to care. This actually made it a lot easier.

An hour or so in the pub then on to the restaurant. The evening was actually really nice, everyone was great ad I watched them all slowly get more and more drunk. Snippets of good conversations in amongst a few hours of general drunken banter, it was an interesting exercise being the only sober one watching.

Lovely meal, which being sober, I was able to really enjoy as I was aware of what I was eating and not just drunkenly shoveling fuel in.

On to another pub afterwards, by which time I was getting pretty tired and others were just waking up and getting going. Some enjoyable banter in the pub and met a couple of friends of the guys that were there (it was their local), they were also well and truly gone by then but still manged to have a coupe of good chats.

By the time we got back to the hotel it was just before 2am and we'd started at 5pm, that's 9 hours! The biggest thing I took away from it was time moves way more slowly when you're not drinking. Although I enjoyed myself, that 9 hours felt like 9 hours. I was so tired.

Up around 8am Saturday morning and I felt like I had a light hangover, headache and sore throat from shouting in the pub over the noise all night and just tired from getting to bed late. Partner didn't drink a huge amount (she's not a big drinker), but she did have a hangover which lasted pretty much all day to some degree. When we got home fro the city she spent the day snoozing on the sofa, whereas I went out and moved the lawns, tidied the house, read some of my book etc and generally felt pretty smug at not wasting a Saturday.

If that was 6 weeks ago, I would have spent the first half hour from 5pm playing catch up. I would have then attempted to out drink anyone else there. At pub last orders I'd have suggested a club, we'd likely have got back to the hotel later than 2am, the night would have been a blur, I would have completely embarrassed myself on some level more than once, we'd have had to ask for the hotel room for another day so I could sober up enough to drive home at some point and Saturday (and likely most of Sunday) would have been a complete write off.

As it was though, I got a heap of chores done on Saturday then ran a 22k trail run up Mt Donna Buang on Sunday (we call it the Vertical K run as it's aver 1200 meters of elevation gain straight up a dirt track then back down again).

It has spurred me on to continue to commit to staying sober. The ONLY drawback from the night was just simply boredom. I did enjoy it, but 9 hours is an awful long time when the alcohol buzz isn't helping you along. But, like I said above, the trade off is not wrecking the next two days. I would not have been able to moderate on a night like that, it would have been very messy (indeed the two other guys had to write the rest of the weekend off apparently).

On the topic of the thread, funnily enough, out of the 9 people there 3 of us are vegan so we went to a well regarded vegan restaurant. Invariably the topic usually comes up at some point, only this time, everyone was genuinely interested in it and made comment of how they were reducing their meat intake (mainly for environmental reasons and were open about not really caring too much about animal welfare etc), it made for interesting conversation, but what was more interesting was how people kept on asking my why I wasn't drinking, they couldn't understand why someone would chose not to drink. I'm pretty open with people, even strangers (much to my partners chagrin at times), but even then, particularity the two blokes), I lost count how many tomes they tried to entice me to have a drink... go on, go on, you sure? How about a.... etc etc.

 

Can never get past a few days without booze.... so I booked a ticket to Iran for a few weeks holiday... bit extreme but no alcohol there! (well there is but hard to find ). Everything was planned, hotels, a climb up Damavand (biggest volcano in Asia), independent travel using lonely planet, etc... but then they knocked back the visa! Bummer. Got the flight credited back though.

 

It is odd how some are perplexed with those who chose to either not to drink or limit their intake. I don't understand it but then I really don't understand people.

I don't care now.

As long as I am doing no damage to myself or others I'm fine with it. If others cannot work it out or comprehend it's their problem not mine.

@Propagate how do you feel about yourself at this stage?

 

Bummer about your visa @wategos

Feeling pretty good @SatayKing haven't had a craving at all since about week 3. I do fancy a nice beer now an again, but not enough to action it. My thought's lately have been turning toward the likes of "I've broke the habit now, maybe one or two here or there will be fine", but I know deep down here that will lead and I'll be back to square one. I'll push on to 90 days, if I make that then there's every chance I'll try and see this through and become "sober".

I'm enjoying not wasting weekends in a tired haze, that's for sure!

 

Once you go past 90 days sober you may have won..well done it's just on six month now for me ...

 

Wait a minute, so you booked a holiday there just so you can't drink for a while!?!?