Health & Family Quitting alcohol and social life

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by paulF, 13th Dec, 2018.

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  1. paulF

    paulF Well-Known Member

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    Interested in people's experience with quitting alcohol or at least moderating alcohol intake and how that affected their social lives.

    I'm a moderate drinker but at the same time love my fitness and exercise so i usually drink a lot less than my entourage and friends which have always been a contention point... Most weeks i drink 4-6 drinks at most usually in one sitting and sometimes go for weeks without it. I also get hammered once or twice a year if the occasion is there ...

    Every time i try and go cold turkey in order to take my fitness seriously or simply because i don't feel like drinking at the time, i get socially isolated by friends and usually i kind of succumb to the pressure and drink again but i'm kind of over it and feel that i'm at a point where i'm simply going to let these friendships fadeaway due to the above. Talking about it doesn't seem to get me anywhere.

    I feel bad about ending a friendship over such a banal issue but at the same time feel like being pressured to drink is just not acceptable.

    Anyone else been in such a situation before?
     
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  2. hammer

    hammer Well-Known Member

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    I don't drink much. My friends dont care if I'm drinking a light beer or a lime and soda.

    There's nothing stopping you from socialising with them if you stop drinking!

    From my experience, you might have to leave earlier though as one's tolerance for drunk BS diminishes when you're sober....
     
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  3. TAJ

    TAJ Well-Known Member

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    True friends wouldn't care if you partake in alcohol consumption. Focus on what makes you happy. They should respect your decision.
     
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  4. chylld

    chylld Well-Known Member

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    That's not social life; that's social pressure. Find better friends :)
     
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  5. twobobsworth

    twobobsworth Well-Known Member

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    I rarely drink, maybe 4-6 drinks this year and nothing in the last 3 months. My wife probably less. Definitely get excluded from the social scene, particularly when I worked in a corporate environment. Not really fussed though.
     
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  6. chylld

    chylld Well-Known Member

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    I found corporate a bit like that too. IBM grad program was 2 weeks in Melbourne doing project management, architecture, programming, pitching etc. but it was largely a façade for alcohol training. I remember working up to about 13 drinks/night by the end of the "program" and I happened to be offered a senior role out of the gate.
     
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  7. TAJ

    TAJ Well-Known Member

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    You could of been CEO if you'd of had 20!
     
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  8. SatayKing

    SatayKing Well-Known Member

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    It's all about ME!
    I did at one stage drink quite heavily as far as I as I am concerned but as alcohol and I were close to becoming BFF, I stopped.

    So did the vast majority of the associated social life. Don't miss them one bit.

    Odd position. While I do go to some social events, it is very rare I have any alcohol now. It's other guests who feel uncomfortable which is weird as I don't question or object to them drinking.

    Disclaimer: I finished off five stubbies last night. They had been in the fridge for ages and just felt like having them. That'll be the last for some months.
     
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  9. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    I went cold turkey about five years ago. But I wasnt in a work environment where people went out for drinks.

    On the rare occasion where there were drinks, I got quite bloated on Coca Cola. But it's interesting to watch people from a sober environment - and to wonder how many times I'd been that way too.
     
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  10. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Most of my friends still drink but not all,the one's that would drink every day then hit it hard on the weekends either went to re-ab and never have drank again,or you turn up at their wake ..

    I went to a 90th birthday party for a person on the weekend in nth nsw at uki .The 90 year old is still drinking smoking ,his sons are all the same ,and their son all drinkers ..My self every now and again last night one large bottle of Coopers stout then a 375 ml vinho do porto special reserve port, and enjoy every minute-till you wake up the next morning..
     
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  11. spludgey

    spludgey Well-Known Member

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    I used to drink way too much during my uni days.
    These days though, I might not make it through two cases for the whole year.

    It's all about the people that you surround yourself with. I often have a beer if I hang out with friends, but I don't feel any pressure to do so. Or if I offer them a beer and they decline, that's okay too.

    Saves a lot of money too!

    Given that you used the term "cold turkey", do you think you might have a problem with drinking?
     
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  12. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    Yes, I did. I could go without, but I couldn't stop once I started. So I just stopped starting.
     
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  13. paulF

    paulF Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for guys.
    @willair , i come from a family of drinkers and a few smokers and all seem to live long and happy lives and that makes me happy for them so i have no problems with others drinking if that's what makes them happy.As long as i'm not being pressured to drink, no problem at all with others drinking.

    @spludgey , maybe cold turkey didn't convey my point properly but if you mean to ask if i have an alcohol dependency problem, than definitely not. What i meant by cold Turkey was not succumbing to pressure and holding my ground when i say no.

    I think @SatayKing makes a great point that my not drinking is making others feel uncomfortable.
    Most of my friends who drink daily try to stop drinking and fail after a few days so maybe that has something to do with it.
     
  14. TAJ

    TAJ Well-Known Member

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    The old " One is too many and a thousand is not enough!"

    I enjoy a few beers every Friday usually with fresh prawns. Have been doing this with friends for years. I have made it a rule to not drink any other day.
    Discipline is the key, like anything in life.;)
     
  15. NHG

    NHG Well-Known Member

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    I don't drink.
    Never really found it to be an issue. I'll have a different beverage when out with friends.

    When I was younger and stupid, I'd drink shots of milk whilst the boys had their tequila. Then we could all throw up together.

    My sisters wedding was an alcohol free event. The event manager seemed concerned, until he realised, no alcohol meant we could party harder, and longer, as nobody was getting wasted - then he was more concerned.

    At work it may have a bigger impact. Though most of it is in one's own mind.
    It's a heavy drinking culture, and it's not unusual to hear "can't trust a man who doesn't drink".

    That said, there are other ways to network and climb the corporate ladder.
    I usually go out to a social or 2, drink whatevs, and leave before everyone gets absolutely smashed.

    You'll find if you go teetotaler long enough, you'll have a handful of reactions:
    1. "I wish I could drink less"
    2. "Can't trust a man who doesn't drink"
    3. "Awesome man"

    Your good mates will bring it up a few times, deep down they just wana make sure you're having a good time.
    Stick with it long enough, the good mates will adapt and know you can still have a good time. 90% of my mates drink, I'm usually designated driver.
    The not so good friends will feel judged / get a little distant.

    I had the latter hit breaking point at a trip in Boracay 10 years ago. I was throwing mates on the back of a tuk-tuk, trying to get away from a bar-fight they started. At the hotel, 1 guy was crying saying "why are you judging me". I paid a maid to follow them around the next day and clean up their vomit, whilst I went scuba-diving and had my own mini holiday.

    The question then becomes, what kind of friends do you like to surround yourself with? - that's hard. It's your tribe. No regrets from me.
     
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  16. The Prestige

    The Prestige Well-Known Member

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    Have a few kids. Usually does the trick :)
     
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  17. Kinnon

    Kinnon Well-Known Member

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    Ha! That would drive me to drink! :D
     
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  18. jprops

    jprops Well-Known Member

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    have
     
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  19. jprops

    jprops Well-Known Member

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    That could go either way :)
     
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  20. HomePage

    HomePage Well-Known Member

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    I quit drinking about 3 years ago and my wife quit about a year later. It took a good year from quitting before friends and family stopped pressuring us to have a drink and nowadays nobody asks. Time heals many things.
     
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