Presents, Gifts

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by MTR, 19th Dec, 2015.

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  1. Corey Batt

    Corey Batt Well-Known Member

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    Looking over the EU, the trend shows that it's not economic factors driving these stats.

    • France has a similar youth unemployment rate, but 28% living at home
    • Finland has the same youth unemployment rate, 1/5 of the number of 18-30 yr olds living at home
    • Spain has a significantly higher youth unemployment rate, whilst almost a third lower amount of youth living at home
    Could go on really - but from an anthropological perspective it's clear that if life is 'comfortable' at home with parents, there is going to be less of an impetus to move out, compared to enjoy a higher disposable income.
     
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  2. neK

    neK Well-Known Member

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    Completely agree with what has been said here.

    Unfortunately what also makes it difficult is the attitude of some people who are on the receiving end of the benefit.

    I've opened my house (free rent, free food, etc), given an interest free loan to my brother in law. I thought he would at least help around with some basic chores around the house - eg mowing a 9sqm lawn and sweeping leaves...nothing. What ultimately annoyed me was him seeing me cutting up tree branches in the backyard and he sticks his head out and says "Do you need a hand? But i hope you don't ask me" and walks back into the house, sits on the couch and watches tv.

    Unfortunately there are some people who just don't respect the help they are given, in fact to them its a right! Especially if you earn more and have investments.

    Those unfortunately just need to be shown the kerb, tough love is required in these instances.
     
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  3. Xenia

    Xenia Well-Known Member

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    You need to ask and make it clear.

    Can you please mow the lawn?
    It's surprising what gets done when you set boundaries.
     
  4. neK

    neK Well-Known Member

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    That's one of the problems with some people today. They need to asked.
    There are others who will do without asking because its "right thing to do"

    I figured if he saw me doing something he would help.... nope.
    So i started asking, he started complaining that he was busy / tired / etc.

    Last week he got annoyed because i asked him to return my gas tank that he had borrowed 6 months ago.... i clearly said, "yea no worries, you can borrow it, just return it when you're done".

    My point is, some people appreciate the help, others think its their right to be given help.
    Regardless, if you can help family, that should be a given. However at some point, some people need to be given the perception they are "cut off".... you still help them from afar, just make sure they aren't aware.

    Money can bring happiness to not just yourself, but everyone around you.... but only if you let it. Being greedy only leads to unhappiness.
     
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  5. Xenia

    Xenia Well-Known Member

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    I just ask
    How they perceive it and how annoyed they get is their problem.

    They get away with it because no one has held them accountable - it's a silly game.

    My dad had this thing that he did not change nappies, my mum believed and bought into the entire rubbish about being male, dosnt know how, never done it..,

    I left him once with my daughter when she was 5 months old and told him to change her nappy in an hour, he screamed and protested, I just said "serously dad, you wipe your own bum, it's not rocket science just do it"

    He did.
    My mums jaw was on the ground.
    At my house he washes dishes, folds clothes, everything he does not do with my mum because I don't play into the male/female game.

    Your brother in law can and should.

    Being offended is a control issue, don't buy into it.
     
  6. neK

    neK Well-Known Member

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    Who said i buy into it? :)

    But for my wife's sake i let her deal with it. Unfortunately she doesn't to push it because "that's how he is and he's not going to change".

    Unfortunately its not really my place to "lecture" him.

    I've done what i need to do. I know better than to argue with my wife. LOL
     
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  7. BigKahuna

    BigKahuna Well-Known Member

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    Family means different things in different cultures. Comparing Italian children to Aussie kids staying at home is comparing applies with oranges. There are many factors involved; it is not simply a matter of being 'spoiled'. I'm not going to go into Italy's financial woes, their housing issues, youth unemployment (which the last time I looked was about 26 per cent).

    Bayview, my point was that you can raise two children the same way when it comes to money and they will still end up being very different with it. I do think that children will learn more from what you DO than what you SAY. Words are cheap when it comes to parenting.
     
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  8. BigKahuna

    BigKahuna Well-Known Member

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    "Could go on really - but from an anthropological perspective it's clear that if life is 'comfortable' at home with parents, there is going to be less of an impetus to move out, compared to enjoy a higher disposable income."

    I'm thrilled we have an anthropologist/sociologist in our midst! Otherwise, this would sound like the rantings of a slightly backward, mono-cultural yobbo.
     
  9. Corey Batt

    Corey Batt Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad to have thrilled you. :)

    Though I'm not too elitist to get upset about yobbo's - it's much nicer to be inclusive.
     
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  10. Mombius Hibachi

    Mombius Hibachi Well-Known Member

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    Corey; best not to throw facts, logic and reason into the mix, mate. Tends to confuse the progressives.
     
    Last edited: 29th Dec, 2015
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  11. Beanie Girl

    Beanie Girl Well-Known Member

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    I know a 91 year old Maltese great-grandmother who took back in her 65 year old son to stay at her home
    43 years after he had left home, married and lived interstate.

    He had a successful business - top of his game -
    but business failed, depression, gambling debts, marriage broke down, divorce, assets sold.

    So children can need help at any age.....
    and mothers need not necessarily stop being mothers at any age.
     
    Last edited: 29th Dec, 2015
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  12. Angel

    Angel Well-Known Member

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    And does the 91 year old Mamma do all his cooking, washing and cleaning for him too?
     
  13. sanj

    sanj Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    What would make u even ask this question?
     
  14. Angel

    Angel Well-Known Member

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    Stereotypes of older families where the female does the housework up until their dying day.
     
  15. Beanie Girl

    Beanie Girl Well-Known Member

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    No, Angel, son did all the cleaning, cooking lunch and dinner, made himself the official carer for mom, drove her to all her doctor's appointments, looked after her medication and made sure every bill was paid on time and got his mom better deals on gas and electricity.
     
  16. Angel

    Angel Well-Known Member

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    That's awesome then. I've personally seen just the opposite. Sorry if I offended you.
     
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  17. Beanie Girl

    Beanie Girl Well-Known Member

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    Wasn't at all offended , Angel. :)
    I didn't take the question personally.
     
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