Pre-nups

Gockie. ..with all the work you've put into your investments. ..i just hope you have pre nuptials in place! !!

 

I don't know if I agree with this one.
Going into a marriage with pre-nups is like expecting your marriage to fail.

 

More than 50% of first marriages today end in divorce. The more you get married, the higher that % goes. Going into a marriage with a pre-nup is prudent, logical, rational behaviour.

 

It's not random, though; you don't just "roll the dice". [Barring the appearance of severe addictions and mental illnesses etc.]

 

No doubt. But going into a marriage without a pre-nup, if you hold significant assets, is akin to playing Russian Roulette with a pistol holding three bullets.

 

Looking at the situation. .....it seems only one partner is interested in financial wellbeing. And that already would concern me personally. The best career/life decision would be to have someone on the same wavelength...

 

We are sharp shooters on this forum; one bullet is all we need.

 

Ok, do you have pre-nup assuming you are married, just curious

 

I don't have a pre-nup
I thought about it.... then decided it was a bad thing to start a marriage on.
Said property was worth $600k at the time, presently its worth $1.2m.

 

Going by this thought process. Then youd never get car or home insurance!

 

Car & home insurances aren't people with feelings. You're not going to spend your life cuddling up to your insurance papers, I hope.

 

To expand on what skater said, whether I have a car accident or storm damage etc. is largely out of my control.

Whether I choose a partner with whom I can build a successful and enduring relationship, and then nurture that relationship, is largely (not entirely) within my control.

 

Me? Married? Jesus Christ Marina, are you trying to give me a heart attack or what!

"I've never seen you this mental over a girl before. Are you gonna marry her?"
"Garth! Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries."

 

Calling Mr Fabulous. .

 

So if i had my dream car in my garage now and i did cuddle , caress and touch it. Then i shouldnt get insurance!?!?!?!?! Dont think so

 

Having a car is within your control

Driving like an idiot and having an accident is within your control

Relatiomships many things are outside anyons control. Whether it be time. Weather. Job. Family. Etc etc etc

Love makes people go fuzzy and warm. Me too. Especially if you havr a lot to lose. Then it would be advisable to at least consider protecting it. As unromantic as it may be. If what youve saved or worked hard for is not worth anything to you and you sre perfectly happy to start from zero at later stages in life. Then yeah. No insurance is good.

Unromantic as it may seem. Im not willing to do that.im half way through my life now. And its been a roller coaster of ups and downs

 

This has evolved in to a really great topic.

IMO, pre-nups are just like seatbelts.

 

The pre-nup itself isn't the issue (and I can see a good argument for making them mandatory, actually).

It's that the kind of person who's adamant about wanting a pre-nup, is the kind of person who thinks that material things are the most significant thing that they have at stake when they marry. And that's a danger signal.

You should enter a marriage so "boots and all" that if it fell apart, the impact on your life would be so devastating as to dwarf any material considerations.

If everybody went in with that attitude, and worked that hard at their marriages that they want to avoid that kind of devastation, there wouldn't be anywhere near as many divorces.

Edit: if the person who wants a pre-nup is also as committed to doing things to ensuring the marriage endures - such as doing "marriage education", including in the pre-nup an agreement to do certain things to work on the marriage, agreements to get counselling, etc. etc. - then I also have far fewer concerns. It's those who want a pre-nup "so I don't lose everything based on a roll of the dice" who I'd run a thousand miles from.

 

What are your thoughts on No Fault divorce?

 

It's essential to prevent people being trapped in abusive marriages.