Pre marital sex

So i have a cousin in his mid 20s.
He has recently med a nice indian lady also in her mid 20s. Ive met her and she is actually a very nice lady. Very attractive.

Imagine my cousin

Above average looking. Nice guy. Not a playboy. Not a cherry boy. Nice personality. Very stubborn high morals high values. Friendly.

So a carbon copy of me.....just replace the bit "above average looking" with "below avearge looking"

She has fallen head over heels for him. And he feels strongly about her and a long future.

Its her first boyfriend and her family/culture is no sex before marriage.

He's happy to wait . Thats not the issue.

The issue is she talks about it a fair bit.
She comes up with statements like " ive never let a guy touch me". "If im going to allow a guy to touch me he has to be the one"

And frankly he is starting to get fed up with more of the attitude and i guess arrogance he feels and i can see where he is coming from.

Im not sure if she means it that way but terms like "allow" and "let" he feels are making it seem sex is like a prize for him and he should be thinking he is privileged etc.

Last time i checked intimacy goes both ways.
And its not just related to sex too. Apparently its kissing too. I get the vibe that she thinks kissing is also none before marriage. I kinda feel sorry for him to have to listen all this stuff. Not sure why some people are so opinionated about something they have never tried

Im only hearing it from his side however

 

Whats a cherry boy? Is that like a candy ass?

 

It's cultural difference - coming from Asian background can i understand. It was very hard to overcome. The guilt can be debilitating - it is as if your entire family is judging and telling you how worthless you are if you have sex before marriage. I grew up being told virginity is pretty much the most valuable things to have and if you lost it then you're almost worthless.

If they are serious then they need to talk.

 

And you want responses based on one side of the story? That too from a Cherry boy!

 

who knows.....very confusing.......lady boy, cherry boy, pink boy...... why is life so complicated

Still makes a change from property, I am sure we can put our heads together to solve this one

 

If it's this hard for your cousin to get laid, he'll have no chance if they get married.

Can't understand why you wouldn't have sex before marriage. What if your partner was as lame as a sack of potato's, doesn't make for a very fulfilling relationship.

 

Run. Run. Run. This whole attitude of "allow to touch me" is a deal breaker. What about "allow myself to enjoy"?

 

What if this point were never taught and rather scorned?

 

Life's too bloody short! Unless she's Jennifer Hawkins I wouldn't be putting up with that!

 

Then all the more reason to run faster.

 

@Biz whats a Candy ass?

 

Could be manipulation, could be fear, could be insecurity ... as EN710 said, they need to talk. He might calm her down. Or he could be in for a lifelong struggle.

 

Roody poo candy ass

 

Really! The woman under discussion has the right to say and believe whatever she wants as long as it is respectful. And it certainly sounds like she is being respectful.

If he doesn't like the way she is, then I think she should run! Make her escape while she can.

It sounds like he is pressuring her, despite the fact that she has been very upfront about what she values. Otherwise, she wouldn't need to remind him.

If it doesn't fit with what he wants, then fine. It might not be the right relationship for either of them and they can move on.

But let's not talk like he has the right to manipulate her into things she is not comfortable with.

Her body her choice.

 

I'd hazard a guess that a cherry boy is someone who targets virgins.

 

Of course her choice. Also his choice to run like the wind.

 

Ha! I dont know why I asked. Wow, I didnt realise how much The Rock loves talking about ass.

 

According to urban dictionary it is a virgin boy that Asian prostitutes make fun of.


He will not love them long time. Only a short time.

 

Bahaha that's hilarious.

 

What pressure? Are we reading the same thread?

"He's happy to wait . Thats not the issue."

It's her whole unhealthy attitude to an intimate relationship that is an issue here.