Partner is slowing me down!

Yeah I think I really need to get her across to some investor evenings to show her what people are achieving.
Cheers

 

I've had the exact same issues and i'd have a house on good usable land in Doonside which would have just about doubled, and/or potentially a unit in Lavender Bay which would have been good if he was just on board.

So i've really had to slow down.
Anyway, i've been saying to him he should consider buying in Brisbane... he hasn't said yes or no, which is a step in the right direction because in the past it would have been an outright no.
We bought a house in the Epping Sydney area 7 years ago and it has doubled in value in that time and the LVR on it currently is well less than 10%... he just would be looking to pay it off.... won't let me touch any of the funds in it..
Anyway, with these constraints, I've done well. Yes, I could have done heaps better without them, but it is what it is.

 

It's a tough one for you and I feel your frustration.

I'm so glad my wife just signs the loan docs every time, and she doesn't bother asking what they refer to any more.

You've either got to make her feel more comfortable with tolerance to risk, or sell it to her better.
If you show undeniable confidence, how could she say no?

I agree with getting her involved in meeting other property investors, then she will see they are reasonable, real, normal people too.

 

Oh noooo, trust me I've tried that and she told me where to go! Lol

 

Wouldn't ever have a relationship with someone who wasn't completely on the same page (and not just with property investment).

 

Oh yes I know about that, I would have had a place in Maroubra and Drummyone well before 2013 and we missed out on them due to being slightly over our budget. So annoying.

 

You don't "choose" who you fall in love with.

 

Yeah totally, I think I need to get into the community a bit more because my selling skills are just not sharp enough

 

You definitely have control over who you look for in a partner. Being on the same page and wanting the same things in life is essential to me.

 

Actually one thing that sold it to her was talking to someone about how they did it and how they analysed the risks. And how they mitigated them. But this more business/development related.

We always have a buffer now. It may mean slightly less money at the end of the day but it also causes less sleepless nights.

Do you both work? Have you tried getting agreement on an end goal and working back from that point?

 

I am not sure that I agree wth you... Or probably you can fell in love with someone completely unsuitable, but normally it does not end well I know that if it was me, the relationship would end if we are not on the same page with things that are important to me e.g. Relationship with money. Again this comes from my experience and growing in the household that was filled with arguments over money and different spending habits. I decided already when teenage, no thank you, not for me.

 

Yes we both work, she a teacher and I'm in sales. Not a bad idea actually coming up with an end goal and then working backwards. Might give that a shot.

 

Yeah I think she thought that I was throwing in her face. Which I kind of tbh haha

 

People fear what they don't understand.

I'd educate her on all things property investing then take her through the steps and processes showing your reasonings for doing so and show her what the end goal is with all best case and worst case scenario eventualities.

 

I agree with kinnon

My wife has seen our ppor grow and now understands it better but still says she'll leave it to me and just wants to quit work, no pressure.
But why not go the eduction, don't push to much technical just basic lingo and cycles etc then take her away for the weekend and buy some gifts, blow a bit of money and say it's thanks to investing, when she's got a taste of the perks you'll be off to the bank to sign away!

 

Sounds like a lack of confidence from her end, which most likely comes from a lack of understanding–of both the benefits, and the risks, and how they're being mitigated.

There have been some great suggestions so far:

• Bring her along to the next Property Chat meetup. There will be dozens of fellow investors including plenty of once-apprehensive wives and husbands she can talk to, learn about and from. Not to mention everyone else, from all walks, and all income levels, giving it a go and doing well.
• Sit down both individually, and as a couple and set some goals, including financial ones. Then work backwards from there. When you have a clear "why", that may change everything for your wife and yourself.
• Talk through the different potential outcomes, including best and worst case scenarios to demonstrate how you're going to mitigate risks and what the up-sides are.

Steven

 

Hubby wasn't interested at first. He always supported me & signed anything I wanted, but it just didn't interest him. Slowly, I drip fed little bits of information and left books (beginner ones) lying around which he'd sometimes have a bit of a look at, and slowly as he started to understand and learn more, he became interested in it.

Property investing isn't something that everyone does, and it can be a scarey and intimidating world, especially as the numbers on the loans get higher and higher. I would suggest that you get her along to the next meetup. Let her see that there are heaps of people doing it, not just you! The more she meets people that are actively doing it, the more 'normal' it will seem to her.

If you are wanting to invest into a growing market, why not sit down with her and compromise. Say look, I really want to buy 2 properties in this area because it's growing. Once the value reaches x, I will sell one of them and pay all the CG that we make down on the other one. Although it might not be what you'd really like to do, this might make her comfortable that you have considered the amount of debt, and that you intend to pay it off because I'm guessing this is the real sticking point here, the level of debt.

 

I am going to take a differing point of view. Your partner may be right and have legitimate concerns that you are not wanting to face. Have you thought of that?

Open communication and a common set path for the future is what sets up a long relationship if you do not have these, someone or something has to give.