Parents didn’t choose me as executor trustee of their will

Non-lawyer definition of fair = Equal split of assets

Lawyer definition of fair = Split taking into consideration of beneficiaries personal after-tax income situation.

 

Lawyer definition of fair = Estate pays legal fees for disputes

 

Totally agree. I have been the executor of a few wills and it has been a total pain in the butt.

Why did I do it? I loved the persons involved, they respected my knowledge/skills set and they thought I was the best person for the job.

I totally agreed with them and respected their decision

 

There is some grace in trust and just letting the poor sibling get on with it as best they can without unnecessary interjections.

 

My mum made me executer of her will. I'm the knowing one (LOL) and lived in the same state. Then my brother kicked up a stick saying we should both be on it.
So she made a new will with us both as executers even though the solicitor said one may have to relinquish as we were in different states.
Years later my mum moved to Qld and my brother then talked my mum into making him the executer. Mmm!! family! Pot, kettle and all that! I made no comment.

 

Many people have no idea. A executor must follow the beneficiary instructions and being executors doesnt mean they can create, change or limit benefits to their own benefit. Its a breach of trust. You would have a lawful right to seek a copy of the will after death. And can seek remedies from courts.

The other common one is siblings who WANT or want to insist on all other beneficiaries keeping mum and dads old house rather than its sale. Its rare they would ever choose to co-acquire a arms length IP this way so why do it with a property because of death ? Drop the emotional attachments. Usually one irrational sibling who cant bear to sell for any reason who cant understand why the others want to... OK then buy out the others !! They usually cant and get all snitty. Who would want to be executor in the middle of these common issues. ?

Then there is always that family member who wants to strip the house or jewellery, plates, furniture the afternoon of the death. Friends sister knock on her (sole executor) door a hour after death to ask when they might carve up mums cash savings ahead of property sale etc knowing my friednwas a POA and had bank accecss. She said - Later after funeral and when probates all sorted etc and they never really spoke again. At the wake at the pub she asked again....

 

Oh, dear!

My sister was straight onto the solicitor after my mother passed as well, asking when she'd get her money. As I recall, even when everything is plain sailing, it's usually quite some time after death before anything gets distributed to anyone.

 

I was asked to be executor with another but did request I was left out of it. In retrospect it was easy for me, executor is not easy because people have different perspectives.

Don't stress being left off, opinion only.

If i had been executor I would have to do it remotely ( interstate ) and siblings had complex feelings ....... too hard for me.